You promised || DREAMNOTFOUND

SEXAGINTA QUATTUOR

BACK TO CLAYS POV

everything rushed back, That very same disappointed pit in the bottom of my stomach, where my heart fell. Phil was disappointed in me.

phil's eyes locked with my own.

"phil was pissed" i spat out, pushing myself off the ground and brushing my pants off

"i was not" phil shot back, trying to defend himself

but there was this little sparkle i saw in phil's eyes, it's something iv never seen before. remorse was one thing, anger was another, but seeing him like this? i couldn't even name what this was.

i turned around and saw george standing with his arms crossed, staring at me with bloodshot eyes.

"i'm sorry" i mouthed and he nodded, because he knew why i couldn't hug him right now. i had to look strong.

i turned back to daryl and he smiled at me with a really comforting smile that i didn't know i needed.

"so, what the hell happened" techno held out his arms in pure confusion

i looked at daryl and then he looked at george

"he and nick didn't de-compress the plane before they got in. there wasn't enough air and he passed out." phil said quickly before anyone else could speak.

someone that caught me most, is that he was defending me. first he was disappointed and now he's defending me. Something's fucking off.

techno and wilbur seemed pleased with phil's answer because they knew no different.

i looked at phil confusingly but he just nodded with a reassuring expression on his face.

"okay, we are running really late" phil clapped his hands and looked at his watch

"it's 10:20, we where supposed to take off at 9:45" he scoffed and stepped out of the plane.

i began walking forward, regaining my balance.

george followed me, techno and wilbur standing in the exact same position just staring at my fragile state.

me and george walked out to the cargo bay door, seeing literally the entire family staring at me.

i raised my hands in the air and they all looked like relief fled over their faces.

"how long was i out" i mumbled to george and daryl as we walked back to the hanger

"10 minutes give or take" daryl said softly, giving the same energy back as i had given him

i immediately saw nick and lily standing next to each other with the same fear on their faces

"hey" i held out my arms and they immediately came my direction, hugging me at the same time

"what the hell happened, you looked like you where high off your ass" nick laughed a little bit but you could hear the nervousness in his voice

"there wasn't enough air in the plane, i passed out" i shrugged and pulled away from the hug

"why did i pass out then" nick asked while looking down at himself

"because you where in and out bringing bags in" i smiled and looked at lily

nick was happy with his answer and walked away, probably to karl, what do i know.

"nick came over here practically in tears, then techno literally yelled and daryl ran to the plane with his medic bag and i didn't know what happened" lily was on the verge of tears as she stood in front of me.

"i'm okay" i said softly and brought her into another hug, rubbing her back with my left hand and my right on her head as she cried into my chest.

Everyone seemed relieved with my conscience self but something was different.

my chest felt free, my eyes felt like they literally got washed out, and my body felt so flowy. But when i woke up, george, daryl, and phil all knew something i didn't. Something happened to me and i need to know what.

"hey lily, make sure to bring your stuff to the plane and pick your seat. get something closer to the door, it's cooler" i patted her head and she backed away, wiping away her tears.

"okay" she laughed and walked over to noah's car, picking up hers and his bags from the ground

"what the fuck" i mumbled under my breathe and ran my hand through my hair quickly, turning on my heal to try and find george.

to my surprise i saw him and karl against nicks car, talking? well george was talking anyway.

i began walking the direction of them, catching george's attention before i even made it there.

"what the hell happened to me" i rubbed my neck as karl parted away, going to find nick i assume

George's face kind of twitched for a moment, not really sure what emotions to display in front of me. I felt sorry for some reason, like guilt had over come me for passing out.
"you-" george looked at me confused, as if the answer was obvious

"what" i said blankly, just staring into his deep brown eyes, oh those eyes. The chocolate pools that i would spent the rest of my life in, just swimming in circles while he laughed and smiled the way he does, with that little dimple on his left cheek.

"you've never had a panic attack before?" he asked softly and quietly, like it was a really sensitive matter. George seemed silent about it, like it was obvious and i felt bad i didn't understand sooner

"i what" i looked at him like he was crazy.

A panic attack? Please, people who have panic attacks are weak and can't handle their emotions. right?

"a panic attack, it's where your chest gets tight, you struggle to breathe, worried about something or someone, you know, the bad emotions all in one" george smiled awkwardly because apparently the answer was obvious

i just refuse to believe it, i refuse to believe that i had a panic attack. a heartless assassin that kills people for a living, what would happen if someone found out about this, how weak would i look. Because i am the face of this group, sure phil was the leader, he was the founder, but Me? i'm the one that goes out, i'm the one who puts my life on the line to hunt those who deserve to die.

But if someone found out i had cried, i had freaked out over phil being disappointed in me. i would be done. people would think they can stomp all over me when ever they wish, and i can't afford to people have that type of power over me.

1111 words

okay so it's 4:17 am and juice isn't awake so i have no reviser helper