Crown Series #1: The Dark Era of Diadem

Part 2: Chapter 114

Two days, dalawang araw na ang nakalipas nang magulantang ang mundo ko sa mga nalaman ko.

Hindi ko na pinalipas ang isang araw pa para manatili sa lugar na iyon. I just told Jakob to finish the job and take care of everything. Umalis ako roon nang walang maayos na paalam. It may seem inappropriate, unprofessional, and unpleasant, also disrespect to all those people I need to meet, pero hindi ko na talaga kaya pag manatili roon kahit isang oras pa.

I just packed everything that day and went straight home. Dumiretso ako sa bahay at hindi sa palasyo. At masasabi kong lahat sila ay nagulat sa pag-uwi ko, lalo na sa pananatili ko rito sa bahay. None of them talked. Dalawang araw na rin ako rito.

Wala ako ni-isa na pinapapasok sa kwarto ko. I ordered Aziz to take care of everything in the palace for the mean timem, kaya nandon siya sa palasyo. Walang nagtangkang magtanong o kumwestiyon sa nangyari o sa anong dahilan kung bakit ako nandito.

Thank God, my father is also away from home. Because if he's here, I am for sure, he'll bombard me with lots of questions. Glenna and Glenda are taking turns on giving my meals, reminding me to take a bath and everything. Siguro pinagsabihan ni Aziz na huwag magtanong, kaya hindi rin nila ako inaabala.

I locked myself here inside my room. I don't want anyone to bother me. But here I am, bothered with lots of thoughts.

Dalawang araw na rin ako iyak nang iyak. I feel betrayed. Akala ko kilala ko na si Pickett. But I also forgot thatt he is a royalty, they tend to keep secrets even with their loved ones.

I understand that part, I really do. But...with Moon, as his other persona. I can't.

From the start, kilala na niya ako. The moment 'Moon' entered that window, I already let my guard down. He made me a fool.

Siguro pinagtatawanan na ako ng mga taong nakakaalam na si Pickett, the crown prince, at si Moon, the knight, ay iisang tao lang pala. Nagmukha akong tanga sa lahat ng tao, including his own army. Speaking of it, my father is his former teacher when it comes to physical training. Ibig bang sabihin alam ng tatay ko na may Moon?

Hindi ko na rin alam.

Napapikit na lamang ako at sinandal ang ulo sa bintana. Nakaupo ako sa may space na malapit sa bintana. Tanaw ko ang mga manggagawa namin na ginugupit ang mga dahon sa malawak na hardin. Iyong iba ay nagdidilig ng mga bulaklak.

Kids are running in the empty, windy, and broad field. They are innocently playing, smiling all wide, walang iniisip na problema, kundi ang paglalaro, gigising sa umaga at makikipaglaro na sa mga kaibigan.

Sometimes, I wish I could be a kid forever, para hindi ko maranasan ang lahat ng mga nararanasan ko ngayong malaki na ako. Na baka kapag bata ka, puro laro lamang ang iisipin mo at matutulog kang walang dala-dalang problema. But I nearly forgot that I also had a rough and terrible childhood, because of my own father.

An innocent kid worries if her father hates her, if the next day will he give her bit of his affection and attention, that maybe a teddy bear will solve everything. But all I could remember is his pair of cold eyes, disgusts, and none of those affection from her father of the little me happened.

I seek validation from men, I seek for the care of a father. I am finding a father figure that would give me a fathehr should give to his child, thinking, I may not find it from my father but from other men. That's when I met Izaak, whom I thought my escape from all the misery I had but it did not happen. Turns out, it's way worse than my father.

And now, Pickett...the last person I could think of when it comes to hurting me. Because he gave me his words, he promised to me. Why is it always the men I've loved?