The Girl Reborn / Neteyam x reader

PTSD

I pulled away from the hug and went to sit down with the Sullys for dinner. I stayed quiet for a little while just a listening to their conversations as we ate. 

"This is really good Neytiri," I said looking at the food kind of quiet. 

Everyone agreed with me in thanking her for the food.  I felt a little drawn away into my thought throughout the dinner.  This darkness crept around me. 

Every time I'd close my eyes it'd get stronger and even as blinks it would surround me so I stopped blinking as much. 

I got done eating before everyone but stayed seated.  I looked into my hands as I needed to blink.  I closed my eyes slowly trying to just keep the feeling away.  As my eyes closed I felt everything rushing back. 

I tried to fight through it thinking that if I get through it I can finally feel okay.  I sat there with my eyes closed trying to clear my thoughts and I started to feeling breathless but was trying to keep everything to a minimum. 

I was trying to do all of this silently until I heard Jake called my name and Neteyam right by my side grabbing my face to turn it against his.

"Y/n, are you okay?" Jake said softly.  I could feel everyone turn towards me. 

When Neteyam grabbed my face I opened my eyes to not seem weird, but I couldn't help my ears going back or tears forming in my eyes.

I looked at Neteyam and felt better but that feeling just won't go away.  "Yeah I'm okay, I'm just going to get some fresh air," I said breaking eye contact with Neteyam and looking at everyones concerned looks. 

I stood up and went to walk out of the hut as I felt Neteyam grabbed my hand.  I wasn't mad at him but I did want to be alone at the moment.

I turned to him and looked down, "I need to be alone," I told him giving him a hug that he lightly returned. 

We let go of each other and I walked out of the hut.  I felt so bad because I know he wants me to be okay.  I started to let my tears stream as I was walking.

I walked around on the beach that was empty as everyone was already in their huts.  I was just trying to breath through this feeling. 

My thoughts were nothing but everything at the same time and I can't understand what's going on.  I sat down in the sand by the water and looked into it. 

I laid back and looked at the beautiful sky.  I closed my eyes and felt the emptiness around me mentally again, it was so strong it was almost physical.  I got flashbacks to what happened on the rock and started hyperventilating. 

I felt that burning in my chest again and started coughing in pain.  It was like I reliving it all over.  I felt the darkness surround me again and I was filled with nothing but dread like before.  It all felt so real. 

I shot up trying to calm myself down getting on my hands and knees.  I can't beat this and it's destroying me.  I just wanted to scream but I didn't want to draw attention to me so I just cried. 

After a while I was able to calm myself down and stood up.  I wiped the tears off my eyes and turned around.  I saw Neteyam in the doorway of the hut looking in my direction but he quickly moved away hopping i wouldn't see him. 

I begun walking to hut slowly trying to fully feel better before heading back in.  Once I got up to the hut I could hear them talking and I stopped waiting to listen.