"You showed me a power that is strong enough to bring sun to the darkest days."
-
Matilda Monroe always dreamed of traveling the world. She decides to leave her life behind and spend the summer in Italy.
Matilda comes across the Sunset Lake winery...
TW: Mentions of physical abuse & suicidal tendencies. part two of the double update, make sure to read 21 first.
the song of this chapter is Matilda by Harry Styles. //
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I cried about you last night. Throughout the entire night, I never stopped. Not even for a sip of water or to take a breath of fresh air. I cried for hours. Hours.
You made me believe that a kind hearted man would hurt me.
I'm trying so hard to stay strong and ignore what you've done but I don't think I ever will.
A part of me will always live and breathe for you. It's true, I'm always going to think of you in the back of my mind and do things that I hope you'd be proud of. I'm never going to stop seeking your validation.
I hate the person you made me. I'm scared I'll never be good enough for anyone because I was never good enough for you. I hate that I'm writing to you right now because I know you don't even care that I'm gone.
You ruined me, maybe that's what you wanted. You dedicated your entire life to your husband. You made him your purpose, not me. Him.
You did everything he asked, that man never heard the word no come from your mouth. And if it did, there were consequences. I get it but it's fucked up.
What about me? We could have become a team and fought against him. We could have run away together and changed our identities. We had so many solutions but your love for him blinded you.
Did you even realize how he treated you? Did you realize that wasn't love? Manipulation isn't love.
I used to believe that but something changed in my mind after last night. As I cried, I had clarity.
Everything I thought was right, isn't. Lainey has tried many times to get me to open my eyes and live. Yet it's Harry who is making me realize there are good people out there.
People who don't hit their loved ones or force them into doing stuff they don't want to do. He doesn't guilt trip me into thinking I'm some sort of monster like dad did to you and you did to me.
Even though I'll probably live with this pain for the rest of my life, I'm tired of acting like it's dirty laundry and that I'll never be able to live a happy life because of it.
I'm going to look at my pain and think that yes, it's there, but instead of crumbling like it wants me to, I'm going to make something beautiful out of it.
"Dolce ragazza!" Harry sneaks behind my chair, wrapping his arms around me. My body jolts, immediately slamming my notebook closed. Harry takes a step back, "Whoa I didn't mean to startle you."
