Sunset Lake {h.s.}

38

The fair breeze cools down the sweat that dripped on the back of my neck. The sun rays beat down on me as that burning star lowers. The balcony was taken into an orange glow from the sunset. And it made the sweet taste of wine better.

Robert sits across from me, his lips moving as he rants about some rude customer from earlier in the day. However, my mind isn't focusing on him. It's been thinking of Matilda constantly. This has been the longest we've been apart since the beginning of summer. Although it's only been two days, it feels like a lifetime.

August is two days away, her last month. Maybe if I opened my mouth and actually said the things I wanted to, it wouldn't be her last month; she'd be here with me forever. But of course, I always have to sabotage the things I love the most along with myself.

I should have said it in the tunnel, right after she did. She was so brave for speaking those words to me. It must have been freeing to let her heart release her true feelings, and I felt so proud of her. She's grown into this confident, outgoing woman. It's incredibly sexy to watch the love of my life blossom into who she was always meant to be. But, I shot her down. I ruined us and I don't know if I can get her back.

I miss her. I miss our tangled bodies in the sheets of our bed. I miss hearing her laugh over my idiotic humour. I miss the feeling of her delicate fingers tracing over my tattoos. I miss the constellations of beauty marks on her body. I miss her so much, my heart is in agony the longer we stay apart.

Those things I told her weren't true. I didn't want her to leave. I knew if I said I loved her she'd stay with me, but the thought of that made me feel guilty. She's known Lainey all her life, and I'm just a man she met almost three months ago. I can't take her away from the dreams she had with her best friend. That's selfish, but isn't that a consequence that comes with love?

I'm stuck, and the only person I turn to is avoiding me. She has every right to, but I miss my person.

"Harry!" Robert shouts my name as he claps his hands together to grab my attention. The clap echoes within the distance and I find myself being brought back to reality.

"What?" I shrugged, pinching the stem of my wine glass with my thumb and index finger.

"What is going on with you? You've been so out of it," He worries, cocking up an eyebrow. "I didn't want to ask this but I am, are you and Matilda okay? I've noticed she hasn't come by in a few days."

"We're fine," I lied through my teeth, not wanting to share the devastation I caused.

"You can't lie for shit," Robert shakes his head with a light chuckle. "I'm your brother, you can tell me what's going on."

I huffed out in pain, grinding my teeth together. It's been an internal hell inside my mind the last few days, and I was scared of confessing it all. Even though I didn't want to say it all, it didn't change the fact that it already happened. Our relationship was damaged because of my grief and terrors.