he saved me

breaking down

After minerva comforted me, we walked back inside.

My dad was outside of the slytherin Common room.
"Y/n where have you been!" I just moved past him and walked into my dorm.
He looked Hurt. So before I walked in I turned around to face him.
"Goodnight dad" I didn't say anything els.
I just went into bed.

Severus pov:

"Goodnight dad" it's all what she said no explanation. I look In shock to minerva.

"What is going on?"
I ask.
"Haven't you noticed Severus? She looks after me, after you, after draco and her friends, after her class mates and anyone who's grieving albus. But she's not looking after herself."

"I just hoped all of this was over and that she was finnaly happy again"
I say looking down.

"If we don't look after her, she's going to break down completely"

~
Y/n pov:
A week passed.
I was in the batroom again self harming. I've been doing it non stop.
When I'm finished I walk to the dungeons again.

My dad asked me to come I'm his room so I did.
He slammed the door close.
"What is going on with you?" He asked straight up.
I flinched at the sound of the door.

"What do you mean" I try to act as if i didn't yet scared of that sound.

"O y/n you know what I mean. Your grades are slipping. Your not in your bed by curfew. Honestly your not you" that last one Hurt. How am I somebody els?

I notice my bandages weren't on correctly so I put my hand on my wrist.

"I'm allowed to grief" I say quitely.
"I don't think your actually grieving. You have helped me out so much the last 2 weeks. Let me help you"
He stept forward and reached out his hand.

"I don't need help!" I swing around with my arms angry.

"I'm already doing everything I can okay! I'm doing everything I need to to survive. Just like everyone said I needed to. I just want my life to be good! I want my life so darn bad!"
A tear fell down my cheek.

"O y/n what did you do" I hear severus say as his voice breaks. I look at my arms and see blood streaming down.

Severus guides me on the ground and ask me to take my shirt of. I do so and he takes out his wand to clean up to wounds. I could see him crying, on the edge of breaking just like I am.
But then again, I think I'm already broken.

"You will get through this, I promise "
"I know I will, I just. I don't want to go through it"

He helps me up.

"Now talk to me pls, let me help you"
We both sat down on the couch.
" I don't wan help dad. Like I said I'm doing what I need to do to survive. Now I believe its time for dinner "
I say getting up and walking out.

I heard him ask me " why would you ever do that to yourself " and I just felt like I needed to respond.

"In that moment, when I'm in so much pain. I dont think about how someone els must feel about it. I just do what I can to survive without caring if it will leave scar. If you were drowning. You would try and swim to the surface. Trying to survive, you wouldn't stop to think who might be worried to death standing on that shore line. Would you stop to think about the rope your holding on to might leave a scar. Or would you just do everything to survive?  let me help myself dad"

On that note I run into the great hall.

I go sit with fred and the rest. I don't really talk much to them, I feel like they all hate me. Eventho they say they don't.

I just quietly sit down and eat my food.
After dinner I run outside again. At to the forest.
Pancy and draco came a bit later.

Hagrid walked out of his hut.
"O shit" I take both dracos and pancy's hand making us invisible.

Hagrid kept walking into our direction.

"Ay where did you go?" He said while looking around
"Y/n stop using your witchy powers " he yelled into the unknown .

But I kept hidden.
"Your dad is worried about you. You can't keep sneaking out every night. I'm in my hut if you need me"
He turned around and walked back into his hut.

Once the door closed I made us visible again.
"I think we need to find a new spot" I say out loud.
Pancy looked at me and said.
"Maybe you should just talk to your dad, tell him what's going on"

"Ooo no I'm not he already had enough on his mind. And you promised you wouldn't tell!" I walk up into the dark forest.

Getting a new spot. I go sit at the lake invisible so that the creatures wouldn't see me.

A centaur walked out.
"We can't see you but we can still smell you" he said.
I appear visible but my hands in surrender.
"Sorry sir I just needed a place to sit calmly"
I put my hands back down.
The centaur walked closer to me.
"It's not safe out here miss snape"
I was shocked how he knew my name.

"How do you know my name?"

"We heard your name through your father. We needed to alarm him if we found you" the centaur said.
"Pls don't "
"To late-"

I need to get out of here.

I teleported further into the forest without even knowing I could.

I honestly don't even know where i am at. All tho it scared me, it ment my dad couldn't find me.

I let my blade appear. And roll up My sleeves. Demontors fly around.

"I have the mark just leave me tf alone "
I drag my blade through my arm, the comfort I feel in this. Every time I drag the blade it fulls my lungs with hair.

I hear leaves and sticks breaking. I scan the area, I don't hear anyone's thought's. So I ignore it and drag the blade a few times. Once I'm done I put back on the old bandages.
The sound of the wind scared me so I decided to crawl in the tree.

I stay out and fell asleep.