Hell is a Teenage Girl

7

Now it's Saturday night. You know what that means. Another party where I get fucked up, simply because I have nothing better to do.

The few days leading up to this party, I spent in awkward shame over the fact that I kissed Pierce. I did everything I could to avoid him and didn't even look his way during gym class. I couldn't handle it.

When I went through the photos I took of him to submit for my assignment, it just brought everything back up. All the feelings of lust and then regret and embarrassment. How could I forget?

Getting drunk. That's how I could forget.

I was sitting on a couch in someone's giant house with my friends laughing about some story a girl was telling.

Nova nudged me lightly with her elbow bringing my gaze to her. She held a bong in her hand silently asking if I wanted a hit. I shook my head as I watched her pack a bowl.

My eyes wandered around the room until they landed on someone I definitely did not want to see here.

Of course Pierce had to be at this party. When I desperately did not want to see him. I couldn't get that night out of my head.

The kiss. His body. The tension.

It was all too much.

When I saw him it instilled a sense of panic in me and I felt on edge. It made me nervous. The one thing I was trying to escape was here, ruining my escape.

I know drugs and alcohol aren't the best form of escapism but it's what I had.

I snatched the bong out of Nova's hand and she gave me a weird look. I lit it up and quickly inhaled the smoke all the way into my lungs until I couldn't take any more in. I shoved the bong back into her hands as I held the smoke inside for a little while. Then I exhaled it all slowly into the air above us while tilting my head back slightly.

Then the coughs started coming. It was such a weird feeling. It felt like my throat was itching but that wasn't quite the right way to describe it. The coughs came from deep inside me. Kind of like they were at the bottom of my throat and were slowly creeping their way up until I was forced to rasp it all out.

I washed it down with a gulp of whatever was in this bottle. I didn't read the label, but after getting a taste, I'm pretty sure it was tequila. The coughs slowly eased and I was normal again.

Nova didn't question it but just packed another bowl for herself.

After a couple minutes I started to relax once the high set in. My skin felt slightly tingly and I was at ease as I listened to girls who talked their head off. I couldn't remember what they were saying. I wasn't really listening. Well I was. But the thoughts left my head as soon as they registered. If they even registered.

Then my eyes found Pierce's green eyes from across the room. He was surrounded by a group of guys all talking and laughing but he didn't seem very interested.

I pulled my eyes away and focused on the girls talking, but my curiosity got the best of me. I had to see if he was still looking at me. It was weird that he was staring before, right?

I shifted my eyes to his quickly and they were trained on me once again. My eyes continued on around the room as if I was just scanning it and never actually intended to look at him.

Now it looks like I'm looking at him, right?

I checked again and he looked at me again.

Was I hallucinating? Marijuana didn't do that to me, but I've heard it happens to some people. There's no way. I had one hit. I shut my eyes tight and ignored it. If I pretended like he wasn't there then he would just disappear. Yeah, I wish.