from first love to worst heartbreak

Chapter 43

I stayed for a week with my dad because of the court appointment. Sara and her boyfriend are in . Elizabeth has filed for a divorce. It is absolutely mind blowing how everything changed in such a small period of time and even though this might sound a bit crazy, I feel like I am responsible for a small part of what happened. I feel a lot of guilt due to the situation of my dad and Elizabeth. Sara was never good to me but Elizabeth did not neglect me, in fact she treated me like her own daughter. My dad is the dearest person to me on this earth and I always want the best for him. After my mom died, it was him and me against the world for a very long time. Elizabeth contributed to his happiness and now that he basically put her own daughter to prison, she had no choice but to peacefully go away. He was very upset and had a certain expression on his face. An expression I did not know could genuinely hurt me this much. It was a mix of emptiness and a little bit of sadness, resulting in a blank face with dark eyes staring into nothing. However, he did not let this situation get to him and quickly fixed himself as if the marriage between them never even existed. He got up and got on with his day, told me how much he loves me and how dear I am to him probably ten times a day. Did he really care this less or was he trying to act tough in front of me? Because I refuse to believe that this man can move on from his years long marriage in just an hour. That is not the type of person he is. I had returned to the campus and settled in my room again. It felt like I hadn't been here for ages. Since having returned here, I talked to Amy everyday on the phone to make sure that she was alright. That whole situation had thrown me off and I felt paranoid ever since. To be precise, it had traumatised me because now I have this scar in my brain that every time Amy leaves her house, someone will try to drug her and kidnap her. I was sat on my bed thinking about tomorrow because I would have to go to classes. All of the sudden my phone buzzes and I see the lock screen light up with Jace's name on it. "Hey" the text message reads. Before I can even pick up the phone to answer him I get a call from him and decide to answer. I put the phone to my ear and hear a very calming and deep voice that is very familiar to me. "Hi" he says and I greet him back. "I heard everything. Are you alright?" he asks and doesn't even give me a chance to answer before he says "I mean I know this is probably a very stupid question after everything you have been through in these past few days but I need to know that you're doing better now". His voice is a bit shaky and nervous, which I find quite cute. Cute? What the hell am I talking about? And why am I even excited to hear from him? "I am doing way better but all of it is still engraved in my mind, you know?" "All of the trauma, seeing my loved ones get hurt" I sigh and all the highlights of the past few fays come in front of my eyes like a short movie. "I understand completely. I mean of course I was never in you shoes but I'm certain that the pain you went through is scarring." he explains and I find myself listening to every word of his carefully, analysing them thoroughly. There is so much comfort in his words, in his voice, in the way he words everything in the right order, creating those perfect sentences that I just need to hear. "I was thinking we could go out tonight, grab something to eat, maybe that'll get your mind off of all of this." he proposes. Before saying no immediately, I think again for a second and decide that its a very good idea, plus I haven't seen him in a while, so it will be a great opportunity to catch up. "Sure." I mumble. "Pick you up at seven. Wear whatever you'd like." He suggests and I hear his quiet chuckle at the end of the other line. We say goodbye and hang up the phone, while my mind is already drifting way to the thoughts of what to wear, envisioning different outfits in my head. Wait. Is this a date? Can I consider this as a date? A date with Jace? I don't need to remind myself how the first one ever went. It was so awkward towards the end or maybe I was the one who made it awkward by not kissing him back. I try to get up and notice how bad my leg still hurts, so I lay back down.

As I lay back down, I feel a mix of anxiety and excitement building inside of me. My mind keeps bouncing between everything that's happened and this unexpected twist of a night out with Jace. My body is tired from all the stress, but my mind is too restless to relax. I glance over at the clock-only a couple of hours before seven.

Part of me wonders if I should cancel. After all, there's been so much going on lately, and my leg still throbs with pain, a constant reminder of everything that's happened. Maybe I should stay in, take a break, and just let the world settle down for a bit. But then again, the idea of being around Jace, of hearing that calming voice again, feels like something I need. Maybe it's not just a distraction. Maybe it's what my mind needs to reboot, to ground itself in something less intense.

I groan, pushing myself back up to a sitting position, forcing my leg to cooperate despite the pain. I limp towards my closet, sifting through clothes with my mind half in another world. I pause on a soft, oversized sweater that feels like a warm hug every time I wear it. Comfortable, not too dressy, but not too casual either. I pull it out, laying it on the bed as I pick out a pair of jeans to go with it.

After changing, I take a look in the mirror. My reflection shows someone who has been through a lot in the past week, but there's a certain strength in my eyes too. I run my fingers through my hair, debating whether to style it or leave it natural. In the end, I go for something simple, pinning back a couple of strands to keep them out of my face.

At six-forty-five, I sit back on the bed, trying to relax and get a grip on my nerves. My phone buzzes again-this time it's Amy. I pick up.

"Hey," I say, feeling a little more at ease with her familiar voice on the other end.

"Hey yourself," Amy responds. "How are you holding up? You sounded so tense yesterday."

"I'm... doing better, I guess. Still sorting things out in my head."

"That's understandable. Look, I don't want to intrude or anything, but you know I'm always here for you, right?"

"Yeah, I know. Thanks, Amy," I say, grateful for her steady presence.

"Good. So, what's up tonight? Netflix binge and a pint of ice cream?" she jokes, though I can tell she's serious about wanting to hang out if I need her.

"Actually," I say, almost sheepishly, "Jace invited me out. We're grabbing something to eat. I think it'll be good to get out of my head for a bit."

"Ooooh, Jace?" she teases. "Is this a date?"

I pause for a moment, thinking back to my earlier question. "Honestly, I have no idea. It feels like it, but I'm not sure."

"Well, don't overthink it too much. Just have fun," she says, her voice full of encouragement. "You deserve it, after everything."

"I'll try," I chuckle. We chat for a few more minutes before saying our goodbyes, and I realize that the nervousness I felt earlier has eased slightly.

At seven sharp, there's a knock on the door. I grab my phone, take a deep breath, and head over to open it. Jace stands there, looking relaxed and confident, wearing a dark jacket over a simple t-shirt, his usual easy-going smile tugging at his lips.

"Hey," he says, and the warmth in his voice immediately puts me at ease.

"Hey," I reply, stepping out of my room and closing the door behind me. We walk side by side down the hall, and for the first time in what feels like forever, I let myself enjoy the simple act of just being in someone else's company.

As we make our way to his car, I catch a glimpse of his face in the streetlights. He seems a little nervous, which makes me smile. It's nice to know that even after everything that's happened, there's still space for normal moments like this-awkward, exciting, uncertain. Moments that remind me that life keeps going, even after the most mind-blowing changes.

We get into the car, and he starts driving. The conversation flows naturally between us, a mixture of light jokes and a few serious moments, but nothing too heavy. We don't talk about the drama or the trauma. Instead, we focus on right now-what movies we've seen recently, how ridiculous some of our classes have been, and the random things we've noticed around campus.

As we pull up to the small restaurant he picked out, I feel a sense of calm wash over me. Maybe tonight won't fix everything, but it's a start. And for now, that's enough.