Being an adult is all about responsibility. The more responsible a person acts then the more mature they are perceived as. That's how I've always seen it anyway. I try to act responsibly with everything I do. In saying that, I do have my fair share of irresponsible things I partake in. Like talking to an ex or spoiling those I care about far too much.
I mention this because I met up with an old acquaintance of mine yesterday who suggested I talk to other girls so I can move on straight away to make it easier to break up with my current partner. I have to say, that disgusted me.
Today I was also talking to my ex again. Their living with a guy that they had a crush on and a guy that had a crush on them. Talk about a triangle of awkwardness.
Uh I attempted to talk with my current partner. I even told her how I'd fallen out of love with her. She still insists on me giving her another chance. That she'll give me space and act more mature. I hope it'll last for more than a couple of days. I didn't break down into tears or feel any emotions other than anxiousness. Now I just feel tired. Like I've been on a long journey and just want to reach that ending. I also found out that I'm having the police serve me court orders today. I feel exhausted by it all. Over it and I just want to move on from the stress. I'd move on with my friend. Help her out with her life or I'd just go find my own way in this city. Find some queer girls and join their clique. It's not all that hard when you live in the city and you're as queer as I am, I don't know what I want to do right now. Mostly just hang out with my friend and get some work so I can spoil the both of us before going on to do what I figure out next. I guess I'm just over the stress of my family, my old life and just people who are generally immature. I know I want to work and hopefully make my way up the management line, make some queer friends, and catch up with old ones. Well if they accept me as I am.
-Jane
YOU ARE READING
Diary of a Trans Girl: The Revival Of The Diary
Non-Fictionmy second attempt at writing a diary. Without the conflict I caused by my first. the inner thoughts and feelings of a trans girl as she goes through her day to day life
