Diary of a Trans Girl: The Revival Of The Diary

Tuesday 18th April 2023

I don't want to be in a relationship anymore. It's not so much about who my partner is and what she's done, I know that more than anyone but more or less that I want to do things for myself now. I can't live with a partner. My friend I live with is a different story. We have our own space but still enjoy spending time together. I wouldn't say it's a feeling of hanging out with a sister but more like a best friend. Which today she actually called me her best friend which kind of melted my heart with how sweet it was.
Now today I want to talk about my experience with hormones. I've been on hormones for nearly three years. They make up most of who I am and I would never want to go off them. I'm on a set dosage of Estrogen tablets and testosterone blockers. The testosterone blockers are very powerful stuff. They are actually used as an anti-cancer medication. The last medication I was on was progesterone. It balanced my hormones out and helped my breasts become more round. It was also supposed to help my libido however it didn't. I took them for roughly six months but unfortunately, they aren't cheap so I stopped taking them. Estrogen took between six weeks to three months to start working. It firstly affected my moods, then my skin and then my emotions before finally beginning to change the things I enjoyed and disliked. I thoroughly enjoy pickles and mushrooms and in the past I disliked both. I'm also now very nurturing and care so much more than I once did. Not only that but even the genres of entertainment I like have changed. I enjoy drama and romance so much now. I especially enjoy spending time with my friends now. Doing what they love to do and caring deeply for them. So it's hormones that make me feel like me. In saying that (writing that), I'm nowhere near done with my transition. I haven't even begun to surgically transition and that's what I want. I've socially transitioned and medically but I know I'm certain I want to go as far as I safely can do so.

-Jane