Diary of a Trans Girl: The Revival Of The Diary

Tnursday 1st ot June 2023

The rarest of the Briggs-Myers personality types is the INFJ type. That's mine, I've tested as that for the last 10 years now. INFJ's are extremely empathic and can not only read people's emotions but can even feel them. Now empathic people aren't anything special however introverted empathic people are. It's like feeling alone even when you're surrounded by people. INFJ's also tend to attract narcissists that we try to help as that's just who we are. We get walked all over, manipulated and put down for just doing what comes naturally to us; helping others to reach their goals and just being positive about things. In saying that, I've dated some pretty intense women. From each though, I've picked up new things about myself. Learning skills and seeing how different people approach different scenarios. Y was the first young mother that I dated. She was 27 when I was 19. Well and truly before I came out and found myself. She was unstable at best but a good mother through and through. T was the next girl I dated. She was impulsive and I'm pretty sure was just dating me to marry me for entry into Australia. She taught me how to make the most of every moment. After her was my longest relationship. I don't wish to speak of that one. Next was my last relationship. With her, I felt my feeling of maternal instincts grow. It wasn't what she taught me, so much as what is was that I found about myself while I was with her.
Before all of them though was my summer love. Her name is A. She taught me what it is to feel selfless love. With A I had adventure. She showed me things and even helped me to become more open to things. I've known A far longer than any of those other girls. We kept in contact and now we're together again. She has two young boys that I love as they are part of her. Having learned; patience, fun, maturity and my maternal side. I've found myself ready to be the best possible partner for A. So A is ENFJ which happens to be the most compatible partner for INFJ, as they help them to open up and accept adventure in their life.

So I dated A when I was 18 and went to school with her before that. The way we are now feels like we've not only picked back up where we left things off but like we've evolved into something new together. Our hearts and bodies are in sync wanting the same things. Years ago we wanted a family together, A more than I did at the time. When I was dating a certain girl for a while and she didn't want a family I missed out on my chance to start one. I became very maternal after that and began to nurture and care for everyone around me so much more. To the point where I began to enable behaviour that was toxic and let myself live with that behaviour. I know now that I was not entirely at fault but I still was partially to blame for enabling for far too long.

So A and myself are really coming together as partners and her kids are beginning to call me mummy as well. A has always been a glue that holds people together but has never had that glue for herself until now. She's happier and is reaching for her aspirations for herself with much more vigour. I have my own goals that I want to achieve, they mostly revolve around being a supportive partner and role model for her boys.
I do want to start seeing a gender specialist again and keep on top of my health issues. I also want to work and bring a little more money in for us.

My last partner had a tough run when she moved out. I made sure she understood that I was always open to being friends with her and would be the kind of friend that cared about her. I don't just abandon people I care about. I don't like the feeling of abandoning people. She ended up moving back to the state where we used to live which I think is much better for her. Now she's also dating another trans person as well.

Myself, I'm content with things and happy being with A. I love her boys and I love her. It's a different connection than what we had in the past. I can easily see that she sees me completely as Jane and not as who I was when we dated before. In saying that, my personality is much softer and thoughtful now. I have noticed changes in her personality as well. Eleven years of life can do that of course. My changes are from both hormones and time, of course.

-Jane

P.s. feel free to comment your Briggs Myers personality type!