Diary of a Trans Girl: The Revival Of The Diary

Sunday 30th of July 2023

My biggest regret was hurting A. She was young and so impressionable when we originally dated. I was some douchebag who took her for granted. I couldn't see the amazing person she was and only saw her as that friend I had in school.
Now I see the beautiful young woman she is. I see the mother she always wanted to be. I see the adventurous soul she always has been and I see her as my best friend for who she is now. So God no. I don't take her for granted any more, In fact, I cherish every moment I have with her. Maybe it's because of who I am now compared to who I was pre-transition or maybe it's because I've been taken for granted myself since then. I just know that I appreciate everything she does even the smallest things. I appreciate who she is and where she's going in life and I'm happy to be with her on that journey. It's such a pleasure and such a sweet thing to be in love with your oldest and best friend.

Now I wanted to talk about what it takes to be an ally for the trans community. I've had family pretend to be nice to me but then I hear about them talking transphobic about me behind my back or occasionally to my face. I hate pretenders but they are a major number when it comes to self proclaimed trans allies. I think who an ally is to me is a person who can feel the pain we do. Who can understand what we're going through. Even if it's not so much relating and it is empathising.
The next thing to ask yourself of course is. If you are trans are you still am ally to the community. Do you support the idea of other people transitioning. It's like the whole lgb thing. How they support queer rights but exclude and spew hate speech about the transgender part of the queer world. So sure, accepting is one thing but to consider others is a whole other thing. Sure your Mom may say she supports you but then she talks about seeing other transgender people and how it makes her feel good to see other "people" in the same boat as you. That's not being an Ally. That's critiquing. Sometimes being an Ally is just cheering a gender queer person up when they are down. A meme, a pet photo or even a short story for example. I mean I think that really goes for every part of the lgbtqia+ community. Being an Ally starts with kindness first and foremost. Well that's what I think anyway.
-Jane