"let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain, you like your girls insane, so choose your last words, this is the last time"
'cause you and I, we were born to die"
~~~~
fem!oc x finnick odair
pre-hunger games - mockingjay
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▶ pink matter - frank ocean
xx. ACCEPT IT ~~~
ELEVEN. TEN. NINE. EIGHT. Every district never git easier, though Thea started to feel like herself again. Except for the fact that she was basically being controlled by the bloody cards Finnick gave her, but maybe it was a good thing because Thea knew she would've started yelling at people and curse at them rather than empathise with them. So the cards it was. Finnick had still taken it upon himself to ignore and ridicule the girl every opportunity he could get. It's not like she did it to me for the majority of out childhood, so why can't I do it to her? Thea wouldn't really care though, her ego had started to inflate again and she wasn't letting anything burst her bubble.
District Seven was their next stop and pretty much everyone knew in the back of their minds that Thea would say something about Ash. It was a commonality that victors commend and talk about their allies rather than sticking to the cards, so nobody would've been surprised; though, it doesn't mean she should do it. "Alright Dearie, four down, eight to go. You're almost there, okay? Now for District Seven it is Jade and Ash," Soline assured her as they drove through the forests of Seven. Thea's head dipped at the sound of the boy's name but she knew she couldn't fall apart on that stage because it wasn't fair.
It was much darker than the other districts, seeing as the trees blocked most of the sunlight with their menacing anatomies. Diana rested her head on Dennis' shoulder as they passed the blurring land. Thea could feel the hostility reeking off Finnick which she didn't understand, it is not her fault. Once again, being led to the Justice Building just like the other four times. And Finnick threw her the cards, once again.And now she was stood in front of the double doors with Soline rubbing her shoulders, telling her to smile... once again. It was routine and the girl could do it blindfolded by now.
"I welcome this year's Victor of the 66th Hunger Games, Thea Spencer!" the mayor's voice boomed around square as cheering and applause echoed through her ears. The Peacekeepers pulled the doors open, allowing the girl to swiftly walk to the middle of the stage with a smile on her face. She was feeding into the crowd's energy; they were definitely the most enthusiastic about her being there considering the last few districts gave her little to no applause. Looking up at Ash's and Jade's projected faces, feelings that were far from pride arose in her.
Looking down at the cards intently, Thea really tried to speak from them as she did every other time, but she could't. She lowered them in front of her, keeping her head high. "I uhm- Nothing can express how truly sorry I am for the losses you have endured. I know what it's like, losing family, and it's tough. But both Jade and Ash fought the hardest they could," Thea had to take a breather, remembering what Diana said four days ago
"Just breathe and if it gets hard just think back to home and the ocean,"
And that's what she did, she pictured the oceans of Four, she pictured spending the rest of her life in peace, floating in the water as the waves carried her away. Thea cleared her throat before continuing, "I didn't know Jade. She ambushed me and I uh-" Thea inhaled, looking down at her feet, "I killed her. I killed her out of fear and that is something I will never forgive myself for, and I don't expect anyone to forgive me either," there was no pride in her voice, just anger. She was angry at herself for wanting to even kill people in the first place. Thea nodded, feeling a tear slip. She looked up, greeted with the resentful yet sympathetic eyes of Jade's family.
