𝐁𝐎𝐑𝐍 𝐓𝐎 𝐃𝐈𝐄 / the hunger games -ᶠ.ᵒ

𝐱𝐯𝐢𝐢. 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞

▶️ carmen - lana del rey

xvii. DESIRABLE

~~~

"MISS SPENCER, PLEASE, HAVE A SEAT," Snow's perverted, sadistic smile made Thea crawl out of her skin. Peacekeepers entered the room, armed with guns, meaning Thea couldn't say anything incriminating whatsoever. She complied, feeling her vision grow red in anger. "You killed my family," she hissed. She might as well have been a statue considering how long she managed to hold her cold gaze. But his name was Snow, meaning he was practically immune to the cold, "Ah- yes, I knew you would've brought that up," he laughed, waving off the Peacekeepers, telling them to wait outside, "You see, that would make you no better than I, Miss Spencer," Thea scoffed at the claim, shaking her head.

"And how would that be?" she furrowed her brows, glaring at the man. Thea knew he would try to compare them, make her almost relatable to himself. "Well, you are a trained killer, Miss Spencer. A machine, if you will. I saw you in that arena; despite losing your allies, you enjoyed the killing. In fact, I would go as far as saying that you loved it," he chuckled, interlacing his gloved hands together This almost sent Thea over the edge, but she contained it. Her inhale was sharp. She couldn't help but think that this man was right. What if she did enjoy the thrill of killing? Was she that ruthless? "What are you here for, Snow?" Thea was sick of playing his little mind-games, she shuddered. "Well, the death of your family was a consequence for your refusal to Capitol duties," he said, not even batting an eye at how twisted he was. "I know that Mr Odair is someone especially close to you. We wouldn't want anything happening to him, do we now, Miss Spencer?"

Subsequent to hearing the boy's name, she shook her head instantaneously, "Leave him out of this-" Thea sneered, feeling her eyes start to glaze over in what felt like tears. Seriously? Now? She pulled herself together, blinking away her sadness. Snow had to go on an interrupt her like the pig he was, "Uh-uh, Miss Spencer, I hadn't finished," he wagged his finger disapprovingly before standing up. "Now, I will ask you this question again, keeping in mind your personal ties to Mr Odair, your stylist, Cicero, and your mentor from previous years, Mr Dennis. Will you fulfil your duty as a citizen of Panem, travelling to the Capitol to appease the clients with the victory they had found desirable. Mind you, I believe they pay you very well," the question made Thea feel as if she had swallowed acid and it was burning her from the inside. Her lip trembled, holding back the natural disasters she dared to spit at the man. But, if she didn't agree, the only people she has left could die just because she didn't want to sell herself away.

"Yes,"

Thea was sure to hold a straight face as she mentally grimaced at her own words, feeling a lone tear trail down her cheek in surrender. The only thing she had left was her dignity, and very soon she'd be stripped of it. She would have nothing. "Very well then... you're due to start after your Victory Tour," and with that, Snow got up heading to the door before saying his final words, "I shall be seeing you soon, Thea," and with that, the man finally left, as did the Peacekeepers. Immediately closing the door behind her, she slid down the door like the tears from her eyes. She was left alone with nobody to hold her. She had just sold herself. All for a boy who didn't love her back, a man with no sense of morals and trust, and Cicero.

What the actual fuck was I thinking

~~~~

THEA HAD FINALLY FOUND THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO shower; the blood on her skin washed off as if it were mud and Thea sat on the floor of her shower absolutely still, feeling the heat of the water batter her skin. Her knees were brought up to her body as her eyes stayed fixated on the glass that separated her and a towel she thought could wipe away her sins. Thea felt the games, the deaths, kissing Finnick, just everything burn off her back with every time the water came into contact with her skin.

The floor and walls of the shower were a polished marble and the shower itself, coincidentally, was a rain shower head. Tears fell easier than before as thoughts raced around her mind like machinery. What Snow said lingered on her mind longer than she wanted it to.

Well, you are a trained killer, Miss Spencer. A machine, if you will. I saw you in that arena; despite losing your allies, you enjoyed the killing. In fact, I would go as far as saying that you loved it.

Thea didn't know what was worse, him even saying that to her, or the fact that she was starting to agree with his words. They were eternally burned into her memory. All she could think about were his words and she hated it. She just wanted the water from the shower to collect and rise until. Thea was so tired of everything and it just got to a point where she couldn't even move, or talk, or eat. Getting out of the shower, she felt her eyes hang low to the floor as she draped a towel around over her. She could still feel the blood on her hands, as well as her knees. It was she had removed a tattoo but the feeling still lingered.

Her hands dug around in the pile of clothes that just sat in the corner of her room, waiting to be sorted out until she found a lounge-set of pearly silk pyjamas. Slipping into them, a chill ran up her spine as it reminded her of life in the Capitol. Thea didn't want that to be the only thing she thought of while she drifted off. Yeah, it was the middle of the day, but Thea was tired. So tired. But she wandered to the pile once more, plucking a hoodie to slide over the pyjamas.

The daylight streamed in through her window, beckoning for the girl to shut the curtains. Sliding the fabric across the rail, she almost felt at ease when the daylight had been tucked away behind her glass windows. Thea stumbled on the marbled floors back to her room before shutting her eyes, feeling a lone tear slide down the side of her face. Are you seriously fucking crying? Are you serious?

But the tears just kept coming, falling a bit too easily. Banging from what seemed to be her front door had alerted Thea. She jumped from where she curled underneath the bedsheets, not knowing who could possibly be disturbing at this atrocious hour. It was one in the afternoon. Thea stumbled to her door, not bothering to admire the sumptuousness of her new house. Open the door with haste, she was greeted with familiar drunken eyes of her old mentor, Dennis. Her scowl had made itself apparent in her body language; Thea's shoulders slumped in fatigue. Her eyes wandered over him for a minute before seeing him about to speak. "Thea-" at the sound of his gravelly, apologetic voice, she couldn't bother to even try.

Slamming the door in his face, she spun so her back was to the door where she could hear Dennis speak, even though Thea shut him out, "Look, Little Rock, I'm sorry. I never knew they would've asked you to- you know. And if I had known, I would've told you that it was a possibility, I would've prepared you, told you, that you might not come home to your family. I'm so sorry, Thee," she cried at his words, but a realisation dawned upon her. Thea only told one person what the Capitol was asking of her. And she thought he was more trustworthy than that.

Thea turned back to the door and opened it slowly once she heard retreating footsteps. "Who told you?" her voice was fractured as she had gotten so used to staying silent. Dennis was happy to see the girl, but not happy to see that she was breaking by the minute. He shoved his hands into his pocket looking down. "Odair. He told me that you said no to them," he looked up pleadingly at the girl, his eyes softened. She nodded, to him and to herself. "It's not his place, Little Rock, I know. And I know you're gonna want your space. So I'll be around, alright?" he smiled ever so slightly, being soft with her even though the only Dennis she's ever known had a rough exterior with no room for kindness.

"Thank you," it felt so hard for her to smile seeing as she never really had an excuse to anymore, but it felt nice, not having to fake a smile. The man nodded before retreating off to his own house, knowing that that would be the last time anybody saw Thea Spencer for months.

CECILIA SPEAKS!!!!

YES I KNOW A SHORT CHAPTER FOR ONCE ⁉️☝️ but THE LONG CHAPTERS ARE COMING BACK AGAIN, IT WAS JUST THAT THIS WAS MORE OF A FILLER CHAPTER- ANYWAYS I LOVE YALL AND I APPRECIATE U FOR STAYING THIS FAR- PLEASE DOMT FORGET TO VOTE IF UR ENJOYING 😘😘😘