"let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain, you like your girls insane, so choose your last words, this is the last time"
'cause you and I, we were born to die"
~~~~
fem!oc x finnick odair
pre-hunger games - mockingjay
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▶️ this is the life - any macdonald
xxv. THIS IS THE LIFE
~~~~
CORDELIA'S DEATH HAD REALLY TAKEN A TOLL ON MAX, though it wasn't enough to stop him from winning because merely days after her death, the boy was already on an aircraft back to the Capitol. He won how a tribute normally does: the feast was used as bait, everyone took it, he managed to get his kit and took out two tributes whilst doing so, he was lured to the middle by mutts where the final showdown took place. And Max just came out on top; there was nothing special about the manner of his triumph, he just barely scraped by with Cordelia still on his mind. He would forever blame himself, despite Thea assuring him she takes full blame.
That was until he started to blame Thea more so than she did herself. He was aggressive, violent and so the doctors had to place in in a medically induced coma because of his terrorising tendencies whenever anyone entered the room, especially Thea. She hasn't seen the boy since his outburst, though she knew he would have to face her in a couple weeks.
So travelling back from the Capitol, sitting in the all too familiar train car adorned with velvet and diamonds, dusted with liquor, Thea watched the sun set outside the window, feeling anything but herself. She had grown accustomed to being used like a toy, but it never ceased to make her feel like shit. Showers were her new best friend, despite the fact she couldn't erase the many lingering handprints that stained her body like blood.
The trees had faded to black and the sky was like the deep end of the ocean, harbouring secrets of the Capitol like fish in the sea.
Thea always sat in the end of the train; it had the most windows and so it gave her a sense of safety, much like her own personal bubble. Her hair seemed to darken in the last few weeks, probably because she felt as if everyone was withering away from her; much like a dying flower. She wasn't depressed, not again, she was over it. She just felt sad. All the time.
Thea knew it could've been like a seasonal thing, after the games a wave of depression was bound to hit, but she thought it wouldn't've been so bad. It was as if everyone and everything around her just loathed her presence: Max hated her, Finnick was too busy dealing with his own shit, Dennis was pissed too, despite Cordelia not even being his tribute, the majority of District Four just seemed to grey every step Thea took, every breath a new plant died and every tear, a rain cloud formed. She was a walking disaster and she hated it.
Though, what she didn't hate was the familiar outline of District Four she construed in the distance. A smile graced her face as the train passed through the arch of fluorescent lights that polluted the darkness. Feeling the train come to a stop, Thea took one last breath before stepping onto the platform. The sea salt hit in subtle tones and she could barely smell home. It just smelled of grief which caused the girl to wince under the summer air.
