Kpop Sickfics / Hurtfics

🐺 Seungmin - Hypoglycemia

// Low blood sugar, also known as hypoglycemia, occurs when the level of glucose in your blood drops below normal levels //

~ Seungmin's POV ~

Just thinking about our schedule makes me nauseous. Don't get me wrong, I love being an idol, it's so gratifying most of the time. But, especially before, during and after a comeback - we barely have time to breathe.

We are in the middle of promoting our newest album, we already broke so many records, the album keeps selling out over and over again, we are winning awards every week: it's so awesome, I couldn't be more grateful. The only thing that keeps putting me down, is out jam-packed schedule.

We truly have no time to rest. We go to bed at 2 am, if we're lucky, and we have to wake up at 5 am, for interviews, recordings, fan events, photoshoots, stages, awards shows, radio shows, fancalls, dance practices, vocal lessons... No wonder, I forgot to eat these past few days.

Well, I didn't forget: eating just seems like a waste of time nowadays. Why prepare food and eat, when you could get through a few fancalls instead? Why order and wait for the food, when you could practice the new choreos? Why go out and sit down in a restaurant or café, when you could appear as a guest on a famous radio show?

I haven't eaten anything in 5 days. Not a bite of food. I was running on iced coffee and desperation. My body was in constant fight or flight mode, and my anxiety was through the roof from the caffeine. I was shaking, I couldn't focus or sleep, and my mind was racing 24/7.

No wonder I felt like shit during all of the events we participated in. I tried to stop a few times to eat, but I was rushed to the next event. I complained to the managers, that I was in a bad state, but they scolded me, that I should be happy, that I could lose weight this way.

So, I kept my grievances to myself. I wanted to talk to Chan or Minho, but they were stressed out of their minds. Chan was slowly going insane from the continous pressure, he was barely able to keep himself together.

And Minho was fading away before our eyes: he stopped eating, sleeping, smiling and now talking alltogether, which made the fans and haters lash out on him, for being "boring" and "not contributing to Stray Kids". We had to talk to him constantly, and monitor him all the time, but it seems like he was getting better.

Safe to say, I wasn't the only one suffering.

It has been almost a week of us promoting the album, one week without food or sleep. I felt my body sending me signals, that I should really stop, but I couldn't, I wasn't able to. Today, I woke up to our manager shaking me awake, yelling at me to wake up, change and hurry to the car.

I was used to this. I changed to some stylish, but comfortable clothes, gathered my things, and I was sitting in the car only 5 minutes after waking up. The others were taking a quick nap, or staring out the window, and I did the same. I watched the dark, quiet city, and I dreamt about a normal life, where I could wake up at 7 am, have a calm breakfast, and go to my boring office job.

- We're here, come on, warm up! - We were hurried out of the car into an arena, where we would take part in another award show. We had a 10 minute special stage, right in the beginning, so we had to be fast.

As we stepped onto the stage, I felt the world spinning around me. It wasn't anything new, I was getting used ot the vertigo. My hands started shaking again, I broke out in cold sweat, and my heart started racing again. I had to close my eyes, to regain my composure. I spent a few seconds there, eyes closed, when Jisung approached me:

- Everything okay, Seungmin? - I just nodded, I didn't dare to open my mouth, I was afraid I would throw up. He helped me down to the backstage area, where an army of makeup artists and managers were awaiting us. I was given a paper with the setlist, so we could go over it again.

I tried to focus on the words on the page, but my eyes kept getting blurry, and whenever I could read a word, I quickly forgot it. I just stared at the piece of paper, confused and scared.

- ... And you finish with Charmer. Got it? - The others nodded, so I followed. It was my turn to get my makeup done. I sat in the chair, closed my eyes, and let myself relax a bit.

- Whoa, whoa, Seungminnie, are you okay? - The sudden yell woke me up, and I looked around confused. I was hunched over in the chair, the makeup artist and Changbin holding me up. I looked at him, and he was waiting for my answer.

- Uh, what happened? - I asked. I was in a state of utter confusion, I even forgot where I was.

- You fell asleep or I don't know, and almost fell out of the chair. Are you okay now? - I still had a hard time understanding what was happening, but I nodded. I sat upright again, and the makeup artist finished her job. I was done after a few minutes, and Felix took my place. I stumbled over to a couch, and collapsed onto it.

My head was full of questions, and no one was able to answer me. I was getting more tired every second, and I felt my eyes closing. Maybe a little nap wouldn't hurt...

- Kim Seungmin, wake up! You're starting in 10 minutes, and you're not even dressed! Get up, and put this on! - A harsh voice pulled me back to reality, and I slowly opened my eyes. I was still laying on the couch, with a very angry manager yelling over me.

- Huh... where am I? - I asked, while sitting up. Nothing made sense here, wasn't I supposed to be at home...?

- At the award show! Hello, are you okay? - He waved his hands before my eyes, but I was still staring at the groung, more confused than ever. My vision was getting blurry again, the tremors in my hands and knees resurfaced, and I was barely able to stay awake. - Damn, you're not okay, are you? Can we get a medic over here?

His statement made everyone's heads turn towards us, and I felt multiple pairs of eyes assesing me. It was becoming was too overwhelming. I covered my face in embarrassement, and rubbed my eyes.

Wish I hadn't done that. It made me a thousand times more dizzy, and I wasn't able to sit up anymore. I closed my eyes, while I felt someone supporting me.

- Seungmin? What's wrong, can you tell me? - The comforting, deep voice of our medic brought tears to my eyes, and I leaned onto him, searching for support. He stroked my hair, and took my temperature. - You don't have a fever, son. When was the last time you ate?

- Umm... a week ago... - I whispered. He hissed at my statement, and grabbed my hand. Then I felt a small, stinging pain in my finger, and had to open my eyes. He pricked my pointer finger with a small needle, and pressed a drop of blood onto a tiny sheet of paper. He then inserted the paper into a small mashine, and waited.

- Oh, your blood sugar levels are very low. - He showed the screen to me, which said 3.0. I shook my head, not understanding any of it. - He can't perform, I'm not letting him! - He informed the managers, who were crowding around me. They all groaned and sighed, but there was nothing to be done.

- Shit, are you okay? - Chan appeared in front of my eyes, looking very distressed. I shook my head again, and let my body lean onto the medic's shoulder fully. Chan helped me lie down, and wiped the sweat off my forehead. - It's okay, Seungminnie, we'll perform well for you. You just rest. I'm sorry for not taking good care of you... - And with that, he ran to the others, and they started the performance.

~

I don't remember much from that point. I remember waking up in the car, in Jisung's lap, and then I was magically home. The others were exhausted beyond belief, but there was always someone, to take care of me, and to entertain me. Mostly, it was Chan: he was feeling guilty for not being able to help me, but he wasn't at fault here, he had his own problems.

The days after my poor condition passed, the medic came to visit me every day. He brought me a glucose meter, and I learned how to monitor my levels alone. He also brought glucose gels, which I stored in the kitchen, in case any of my members needs it.

I know now to take better care of my body, and I remind the others all the time to do the same. Nothing is worth destroying yourself over.