The Tales Of Crowboy The Incredible: Of Ink and Power

Chapter Eighteen

       "This is so freaking dumb," Van said, and dropped his pencil on his desk. "We should have stayed in Latin." 

       "We can do hard things, Van." Madeline said, and tapped her pencil on her own paper. We were trying to translate French to English chunks. "Plus, didn't you take French for years before this?" Van stopped and just gave Madeline a look. We, seperatly, had decided to take French for our sophmore year. Because freshman year was coming to an end, they decided to give all of us a little test of asses our skills. And even though we all had experience in Latin classes, French was so much more DIFFICULT than we had expected. Except for Van, who was like, a fucking god I guess, but he liked to complain because he's a little shit wad. 

       "Shut the heck up, Madeline." Van said, and smiled. His grin was a little lopsided, but in a dopey way. It was cute. 

       "Look, it's not thay hard guys. We're doing it anyway next year, right? So, why not like, be good at it now? Also, yeah, Van, stop saying excuses you litteraly have experience in French, you stupid homeschooled bitch." Haha. Van was homeschooled. Hehe. 

      "I'm slightly concerned that Felix of all people, are being normal and calm about this, and is not complaining." Van said, and raised an eyebrow. I flipped him off, and he started to fake cry, to which I hugged him and smiled. I liked that energy. It was good. 

      "I'm just like, so good, you know." I went back to trying to translate the French chunk. It was challenging. French was a weird-ass language, but Latin was supposed to be really hard and if I started Spanish then I would have to go back to the 7th graders and I really don't want that. So, French it was! 

      The thing is, this classroom was not it. Between the children talking and the consistent pen tapping and then the drumming on the pencils and the noises from the kids outside in the hall, these were less than ideal test taking enviorments. But I was going through a period where my accomidations basically said "FUCK YOU! I'M GOING TO PEACE OUT FOR A LITTLE BIT WHILE YOU GET RE-TESTED FOR BULLSHIT, SO HAVE FUN WITH ALL THE NEUROTYICALS! MWHAHAHA, FUCK YOU MOTHER FUCKER, LICK A DICK," and so on and so on. ADHD-Autisum- Anxiety- Depression, and other various mental issues that I can't deal with have decided to worm their way into the creavices of my brain and wreck havoc on any neurotypical gene I may have obtained during my creation. So, esstentially, a huge "screw you guys, I'm going home!" to any sign of normalness.

      "Don't worry, you'll be back in the LRC soon enough." Madeline said, and touched my arms. That sent shockwaves through my body. Not in a romantic way, but in a genuine human contact way. 

      "I'm praying. This test is bullshit anyway. I basically finished ages ago." I replied, out of habit. Math class. 

       "I'm going to go. I'm done and I feel alright about this test." Madeline said, and grabbed her backpack gracefully, getting up and swinging it over her shoulder in one fluid motion. 

      "Same." Van replied. "And I feel pretty good about it too. I'm going to turn it in and go to lunch. Felix, you gonna be alright?" 

       "Of course I'm going to be. See you at lunch." I replied. They passed through the door quickly, and without a second look. A little bit of me was relived that they left. Cause now I can talk to my little friends inside of my brain for answer! 

       Hey, friends inside my head, I said. Do any of y'all speak French? 

       That's cheating. A little voice said back to me. And cheating isn't good. I don't think you should cheat. 

     But I mean, you guys helped me the other night, so would it hurt to help me out now? I replied. Damn. I was arguing with a dead child about the ethics of learning French.  

      Out of the 17 of us, I don't think you should be the one handling this, Lila. That's Kirstens job. Someone else said. Varissa, maybe. 

      Oh hey Lila. I said. Lila was a child. Like, very very little. 5 maybe. She must have been killed pretty early. I think she's in charge of child wonder, or just curiosty in general. Very genorous when she lets me have that one. I've heard her say stuff how she likes that I have ADHD cause that means she can use it more. I don't even think she knows what ADHD means. To be fair, I thought it meant "a dumb headed dude" for like, a very, very long time. You doing alright?

      I'm not alive anymore. She said. 

       Yep. That's a little sad. I but you would have been really fun to play with, I replied. Lila likes to talk about that shes dead a lot. Actually, no, not really likes. I think she just feels the need to say it so people know what's going on in her world. I get where she comes from though. Are you going to be alright? You can play when we get home from school, though. 

      No. Lila isn't going to take control of the body yet. She needs a few more years before that. But it's very kind of you to offer that. Varrisa said. Varrisa was very protective of Lila. I was too, to be fair, but I think Varrisa was like a mother figure to her at this point. Lila needed that. I think a lot of the past lives needed that. Say thank you, Lila!

      Thank you, Felix, Lila said. 

      By the way, you're still not getting the answer, Varrisa said. You do need to use your brain yourself. A Crow neds to be smart, self sufficent, and able to work out problems on their own without the help of their past-

        Aren't y'all here to help me anyway? I interrupted. Plus, I don't think that in a near death situation I would be using French. But fine. I don't want to argue right now. I stopped and tuned out what the rest of the past lives were saying. I ran through the rest of my evaluation test thingy, turning it in four minutes before time was up. Let's go. Time managent for real for real. ADHD is so much fun because time managment is so easy and everything doesn't revolve around the passage of time so we don't even need to worry. So yeah, everything is all good. 

       I made my way upstaires so I could enjoy the rest of my lunch period, even though I doubt I would be doing anything. Probably just talking to random kids that thought we were really good friends but I actually thought they were really annoying. Because I thought that was so much fun. 

       I walked to my locker, trying to push my lunchbox in it as quickly as possible, without any of the smell escaping from the locker. The smell had been a running joke in my small grade, claiming my locker was a health hazord and should be avoided at all cost. Really, the smell was from old food I didn't want to eat but couldn't take home because Mama would get really really concerned and then I would have to switch school. 

        Basically, Mama and Papa think that this school has influenced me in all the worst ways, starting with being trans. And then from being depressed. And then cutting myself. It all amounted to a lot. They don't know I smoke, and I don't plan on telling them at all. But I also started to get really late to classes, and then everything made me really depressed which made my grades slip. So yeah. The last straw for them was probably went I went missing, and then when I was returned, I had practically died in an unknown hospital with injuries they couldn't see and weren't permitted to see, cause I was in a Let hospital and they were in fact not Lets. They weren't even allowed in the hospital for a decent while to make sure they didn't see any other patients with their wings or other magical limbs or other things out. 

       When I ended up getting home, getting settled, and finally recovering, they sat me down and said they probably going to switch me. My grades were shit because no one had ended up writing me a note to fucking excuse me from school for like two months, so yeah. But yeah. The sat me down, told me that I defenitly wasn't going to stay for junior year. I begged and pleaded, and so now I just gotta keep my nose clean at my real school and keep my grades up and stuff. All simple right? Except for the fact that I live this life.