Forever | Sodo x Reader

Exploring the Power Within

Y/ns pov

I was walking through the dimly lit hallways of the church to my training, widely grinning as I remember the event from yesterday evening. I would always do this again. Always. Plus, it actually helped me a lot. I was way more calm than the days before. Less stressed.

I took a deep breath in as I opened the door to the same room I walked in for the past two weeks, every day at 4 pm. The same set up, same atmosphere. I immediately tensed up a little as I heard the ticking but remember Sodos words.

You need to calm down and accept. Don't refuse the news. I know it's hard but you can't do anything about it so live with it instead of pushing away. He said and then proceeded to kiss my shoulder. I reflexively reached to my stomach where the hickeys were still vibrant. I covered them by the oversized shirt over my body.

"There you are, darling" Copia said and I turned to him. "On time as always"

I breathed out through my nostrils and walked to the a little too familiar chair to sit down. I was nervous but way less than the last times. Thanks to Sodo..

"Ready?" The Cardinal said calmly as he moved behind the chair and rested his hand on my shoulder, like he always did, as he knew how easy I get lost in my thoughts and never want to come back.

"Yes" I whispered and closed my eyes.

Deep breath in

Deep breath out

Repeat

tick
tack
tick
tack

The seconds passed as my pupils wandered from one side to the other and back again, shapes forming behind my lids in the brightest colours.

Relax I thought to myself and remembered Sodos calming touch. So gentle, so sweet like sugar. No one had ever touched me like he did before, no one had ever made me feel so at ease.

I flexed my jaw as I felt the temperature changing and the tension growing.

Breath in

Breath out

Breath in

tick
tack
tick
tack

Make the ticking go away is what I wanted to shout out. It hurt my brain, my thoughts, my everything. I hated clocks. I hated the sound they made and the time they showed.

Why were clocks even invented? How is no one tired of how fast the days are flying by? Has no one thought about just ripping the clocks out of the walls and hoping that time stands still, when there would be nothing to show the time?

Relax  Sodo would say. Relax, relax, relax.

I wrapped my fingers around the armrest and gripped it as tight as possible. The noise got louder around me and I knew that was the wrong direction. It needed to be quiet. Quiet for me to concentrate. Anger couldn't just be the only solution to my problems, there must have been another way.

»Listen to Sodo, not her« i thought and leaned my head back.

His hands on my body, his lips on my chest, stomach, neck. Red spots everywhere. His, not hers. Fingers tracing, hearts exploding, water surrounding.

I grinned a little as flashbacks from the day before appeared behind my lids.

I took a deep breath, attempting to regain my composure, sodo's words echoing in my mind. I knew I had to find a way to embrace the process, to find peace amidst the chaos.

With each tick and tack, I visualized the sound transforming into a steady rhythm. I imagined the hands of the clock as gentle guides, carefully nudging me forward rather than pushing me against my will. The room grew hushed, and the ticking seemed to fade into the background, replaced by a sense of serenity and something new.