Fabricated Love

{34} novel equilibrium

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[two months later]

It was a Sunday, which meant a holiday for Jungkook.

A fine evening with minimal sunshine almost ready to fade away, it was indeed a breath of fresh air after a few days of terribly hot and humid weather. It finally felt better and gave Jungkook a reason to sit in his balcony, watching the kids playing in the playground of Bourbon Heights.

A cup of warm coffee was held in his hands, eyes peacefully wandering and mind calm. He had come out to sit in the balcony after months. It was weird since in his direct view was Il-han's flat. He reminisced how they would watch each other from their own respective balconies as they talked on the phone; it was so fun. It was strange to imagine that he was no more.

It had been two months and Jungkook hadn't met or talked to Taehyung. He had no idea how he was doing. There was one time in the very beginning when Jungkook called him and the elder picked it up. It was a melancholic conversation.

"Jungkook, I can't do this."

"I don't understand."

"With Jimin and everything else...I need some time to start thinking wisely again. I've never hit such a rock bottom in my life, Jungkook. I don't know. It feels like- like I've lost all the knowledge and experience I've had all these years..."

"Are you...are you really mad at me? Is it because of me and the stuff I lied to you about? I'm- I'm sorry. I just- I didn't know what to do- it was sudden and strange- I-"

"Jungkook. I need time. I won't blame you or anyone for this, alright? Stop apologizing, you already did. Just tell me one thing."

"What is it?"

"Will you wait for me?"

"Yes, whatever happens I will."

Jungkook didn't realize that day what the 'waiting' actually meant. All he knew was that ever since that day he did not get a single call from Taehyung.

Jungkook too wasn't personally holding up too well. He missed Taehyung terribly, it was needless to say. He wanted to see his face so badly. But it was also such a hopeless request because he did not know what he would do once he actually sees him. Would he hug him? Kiss him? Tell him how much he missed him? He didn't know...

Would Taehyung ever even reach out to him again?

He also occasionally thought about Yoongi and Woozi. He wondered if Yoongi paid visits to his brother who probably wished to see his face everyday. He was pretty sure Woozi was going through a tough time. And he somewhat felt pity for him. Jungkook too could've gone to pay a visit and see if he was doing well...but he was scared. Too scared.

Just because he felt a sense of sympathy towards him did not mean he forgot how tortured he felt because of the same man. His sleep, his appetite, his daily life, everything was screwed because of Woozi. The nightmares of being stalked, watched over, getting killed while falling asleep and so much more still existed. They never left him.

So of course. There was a grudge he still held against Woozi. It would be better to never see him again. He brought back some memories that Jungkook hated to recall.