How To Love

chapter three

It was 13:15, and it was just us young kids around. All of the extended relatives had left, leaving behind Thuso's, and now mine too, immediate family and his friends. My friend Lerato was here too, which I'm very grateful for.

Her and I were seated by the patio furniture, away from everyone. My father in law was inside, watching a soccer match with his brother. The sisters were with their friends by the pool. And Thuso was with his friends under the gazebo, the grill stand next to them as they grilled more meat. As for Lerato and I, we were drinking mimosas, chewing on some cashews while we waited for the meat to finish grilling.

"How are you feeling?" She asked. This was the first chance we got to be on our own after leaving her at my home last night.

"I'm feeling weird. Like in my mind, I know I should be hating everything about this. But after last night, and his confession when he thought I was sleeping, I don't know what or how to feel," I replied honestly. Lethabo was my best friend. We met first year of varsity as roommates, and have been close until now. Opening up to her came easy to me.

"I mean yeah, I would be confused too if I was you. So what are you going to do, will you consider the friendship proposal?" She asked.

"Could I really? Be friends with him that is? I can't separate what he's done to me in my life to who he is now. The way he treated me affected me so much of who I've turned out to be. And then to bury the hatchet just like that? It feels a little forced to me, and I really don't want to get hurt again. I don't want to make a decision right now, especially when I'm still not sure if this is a front or if he's being genuine," I said. Picking up my flute, I took a sip of my drink while stealing a glance Thuso's way. When I found him already looking at me, a thoughtful look on his face, I immediately turned away, face heating up with embarrassment.

"I get that. And I think that's the best thing you could do right now. Anyway, are you ready for your honeymoon? You've always wanted Mauritius to be your honeymoon destination," Lerato asked, changing the subject. It was crazy to me how his dad chose the perfect place for this. I wondered if he knew, or if it was just a coincidence.

"I am ready to see the island, but I'm not ready at all to be in the same space, alone at that, with Thuso." In fact, the whole thing riddled my stomach with nerves. Hopefully, I can convince him to book a separate room, and then we can enjoy the vacation solo, though I don't think he will receive that well.

"Look friend. I'm not saying forget about what he has done, and I'm not trying to be insensitive to your situation. But hear me out, why don't you, for this year since it's expected for you to stay by his side, try to enjoy the perks side of things? Outside of the honeymoon, you're basically rich now. You've always wanted to open your own nonprofit organisation that kept homeless people and orphans off the streets. Talk to Thuso, or your father in law, I'm sure they'll be happy to invest money, plus it would give their company a good image." Lerato was right, and smart too. I knew there was a reason I kept her around, just kidding, that's not the only reason why.

I pondered over it all afternoon, even as we ate the grilled meat with the left over pap and chakalaka from last night. Lerato and I washed the dishes and then it was time for everyone to leave.

Goodbyes were said, and I cried when Lerato and I hugged each other.

"Don't cry my friend. All will be well, I believe that everything happens for a reason, and I'm sure God has a plan for all of this. Be strong, keep well and don't loose yourself alright? I'm here for you anytime, just a simple call away." We hugged one last time and I let her go.

Thuso was waiting for me at the door and I had to compose myself. When his face pulled into a worried expression, I could see that he saw that I had been crying. But he said nothing.