How To Love

chapter nineteen

T/W: vague mention of mental health issues.

"Thuso! Thuso, baby! It's okay, wake up it's just a bad dream!" I said, shaking a trembling Thuso awake. He roused with a start and frantically looked around. "It's me, Warona, and you're okay," I said, my hands settling on his shoulders to keep him in place.

His face was wet with tears and once he stopped shaking, his face twisted in pain.

"It hurts Warona!" He said with a broken voice. My heart pulled at his words and I pulled him to my chest, wanting to offer him as much comfort as I could.

"What hurts baby? Talk to me," I said, rocking us back and forth, trying to calm him as his body shook with his pain.

"It hurts so much," he repeated, slapping his chest with his fist. I decided to keep quiet, allow him to have this moment and cry it all out.

It's our first night back home and although he was mostly quiet, I didn't think he'd have nightmares, especially since he didn't have them at the hospital towards him leaving.

Thankfully, his therapist was coming in tomorrow. Hopefully, talking it out with her would help.

I don't know for how long we stayed like that but eventually, he quietened down and we both fell asleep.

Morning came way too soon. The light peeping in through the windows was too much and it felt like I had just gone to sleep three seconds ago. I stirred and turned around to check on Thuso.

He was up already, leaning up against the headboard. He was smiling, looking like the cutest thing ever, even with a bandage around his head.

"Good morning love," he said, sounding chipper and not at all like a man who had a night terror.

"Good morning handsome, you seem to be in a good mood?" I said, hearing the doubt in my voice. Not that I didn't want him to be happy, just slightly suspicious of his mood.

"Well, there are a lot of things to put me in this state. Besides, I'd rather not dwell on the bad," he said. While that was a good perspective, it didn't change his mental state right now.

"And what are those things?" I asked, referring to the things that put him in a good mood.

"Well, for starters, waking up in the same bed as my wife. For a split second, I had thought I was going to loose this," he said, which reminded me again of his accident. I saw the car, let's just say, he got out of there with God's mercy.

"Oh baby, don't worry, we still have a lot of time together," I said, snuggling up his side.

"And that thought is what got me happy. Anyway, aren't we going to get up and start the day?" He asked, running his hand through my braids.

"We will, let me just lie here for a few more seconds," I said, enjoying his warm but hard chest a little too much,

We finally got up ten minutes later, and only because I was pressed and couldn't keep the pee in for long. When I returned to the room, Thuso was struggling with getting into the wheelchair posted up next to the bed and I rushed to help him out.

"Let me help you," I said, putting his arm across my shoulder so he could lean most of his weight on me.

"I had it Warona," he said in a hard voice. I ignored his words, mostly because him being stubborn wasn't going to help anything and helped him until he was settled.

"Listen babe." I sat down on the bed across from him, looking him straight in the eye so that he could see it in my eyes that I meant what I was going to say. "I know how you feel about being weak, but I want you to know that you don't have to always be strong around me all the time. Right now, you need me and baby, I'm here to support you through this rough patch, so please allow me to be here," I said, my hand cupping his cheek so I could continue holding his gaze.