How To Love

the end

Motherhood.

'There are places in your heart that you don't even know exist, until you love a child' - Anne Lammot.

There were many instances I felt truly favoured by God, but in this journey, I've never felt this much love like I have in the past three weeks.

Rumi-Ezlynn is three weeks old, my beautiful gift from God has been nothing short of amazing. She has truly made the birth of being a mother so easy, it felt like a big hug from heaven.

My baby barely cried, only doing so when she was in discomfort. I had a routine I got her on the minute we got home, and she easily adapted to it without much trial. She was the sweetest baby in the world, in love with her sleep and her daddy's chest.

She slept well in the night, and thanks to modern technology, I didn't have to wake up for every feed. I would pump a few bottles for the night and feed her personally just before bedtime and in the early morning while Thuso had the middle of the night feeds covered.

Seeing Thuso show up for his role has also been amazing to witness. I thought it was impossible to love this man more than I did, but everyday he fathered Rumi, I got to see a side of him I never truly saw before and it made me feel grateful to have him by my side through this big change.

My mother stayed with us for our first week, but when she saw how good we handled the transition, she left that same week to be with my dad, who slipped in and out of sickness, but the doctors didn't know the cause. I just prayed he would get better.

"Baby," Thuso said, walking into the bathroom with a sleeping Rumi on his chest. It was pretty clear she had him wrapped around her tiny finger. I had no doubt she would be a daddy's girl, the proof in how at ease she was with him than with anyone.

"Yes?" I was getting ready to go for onsite progress check. The NGO was finally opening tomorrow and I was excited. A few months ago, I had handled employment hiring so that they'd overlook everything while I nested for my baby, and so far, things had gone smoothly. Today was the day I went to check if all was well before the grand-opening tomorrow.

"I can't find Rumi's pacifier anywhere. I could just take a new one out, but thing is, I just got this one out last night," he said. Who still said pacifier? My husband that's who. It was pretty national to call a pacifier a dummy, but no, Mr. England had to formalise everything.

"The dummy is in her bassinet. She had it in the morning before her nap," I replied, rolling my eyes at his choice of words.

"Thank you, and what?" He asked as he returned to the bedroom. I just shook my head even though he couldn't see me, finishing up what I was doing before heading to the dressing room and picking an outfit.

•••

Everything was going well.

Most of the invited guests were here. A Saturday to gather as many donations as we could before our doors open to the children we had on our system and the walk-ins that we encouraged.

Everyone was dressed to the nines, I just hoped they were willing to write up cheques for the amount their outfits costed, if not double.

We were in the biggest hall of the establishment, various guests enjoying conversation over some bubbly and finger goods. My employees were also chatting up potential donors, enlightening them in much more detail on what our organisation was about.

I spotted the chief. At the same time, his eyes landed on me and he called me over to him. I did, walking as gracefully as I could. Next to him, was none other than the deputy minister of social development.