Chapter 5

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I see a logo of the main office and head in. The lady with brown hair with segments of white which matched her zebra sweater stared at me. "Um I need to speak with the principal?"

She looked at me in confusion and glance at the other secretary's. "We... don't have principles. This is a college but if you mean school board we can contact them for you?" She said making me sound stupid.

"Um it's okay, I will... just check my email" I step out the office and walked down the large hall. I couldn't help but stare at joe everyone was such good looking, it was definitely an upgrade from senior year.

I check through my email scrolling down the 1000+ mails I've missed from last month. I finally see it western-bound college.

I look at my schedule and see how it was basically everything I wanted from my final courses of senior year. AP Literature-courses including law.

I always wanted to be a corporate lawyer. Just having the chance to be in control of where things should be placed and where it goes always made me interested.

I tried to find my first class but everywhere I went it just a whole different direction. I continued to walk down the hall seeing less and less of people by the second.

Going to be late on my first day of college. "You lost?" I heard a soft voice speak making my arm tingle. I look over and see the familiar face from outside.

Her eyes made me see myself through it the more she stepped closer to me. Her scent smelt like fresh cherry blossoms. "Is it that obvious?"

She laughs a little enough to almost make me smile. I don't know why I'm getting all... I don't know what I'm feeling but I promised myself that I won't try to get with anyone or even let myself feel an attraction.

Just knowing that once you fall, there's no going back and it will fucking suck. That's why I always just sticked with casual hook ups if needed. I'm not the committed type. And when I was committed I didn't really go well.

8 months ago

The morning light deemed at us through the half moved curtain. We were to horny to be bothered by some light. Yet it did help to see a connection.

He thrusted in me softly, and slowly making me want to beg for him to go faster or even harder.

I pressed my legs against his torso trying to hint him, yet he was to focused on how he was doing to even bother to notice

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I pressed my legs against his torso trying to hint him, yet he was to focused on how he was doing to even bother to notice.

Adam Havel. My boyfriend of 3 years. He is captain of our schools baseball team, class president, and camp councillor. He expresses his school spirit everyday.

We met durning camp before highschool. I wanted to learn to be more independent and away from my mom, and he was there for early community hours. His brown curly long hair which were around his shoulders attracted me first.

Yet it was more on how he knew everything he wanted. How he was going to get and how much effort he will do to take it.

I was more difficult in the sense. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. But he showed me the side of life that I didn't really expect anything from... the happy side of things.

Yet it was only by his side of things. He grunts faster and faster making me know he was going to come soon. His dick felt nice inside me but I didn't feel any pleasure from it nor have I ever received an organsm by him.

I mean what will I know about sex? He was my first love and so was I. He pulls out and I noticed the full seamen in his condom. He pulls out it and wraps it away.

He gets up and rushed to the washroom. I hear the trash can be opened and the sink washing his hands.

He was always such a perfectionist. He didn't like dirty things, eating in bed while watching a movie, and snottiness. Which is why I always tried to be perfect for him and it made me forget who I was.

He rushed back in his single bed. "Babe, I was thinking that maybe this summer I could visit you and your family-"

"They aren't my family. Just my moms fiancé's" I hated the word family like it could just be thrown anywhere just because it's written on paper.

"Okay... but I wanted spend some time with you before college" he said looking at me but I couldn't face his blue eyes. His sweet blue eyes that didn't give me a single feeling when I looked at them.

"I think it's best if... you didn't come visit me there" the silence filled the room making my skin cold.

He leans up from the bed and sits. I finally look at him and all I saw was confusion.

"But you said we were going to spend the last final moments of our senior years?" He asked and honestly I didn't remember saying that, but I did remember putting those words in my mouth.

"Listen... I don't think it would be a good idea to do a long distance relationship right before college"

I wished he would have understood what I was saying but all he could see from his view point was a break up.

"You don't even seem upset or sad about this decision. What is wrong with you?" He hissed getting up from the bed as I covered myself with the blanket.

"I'm sorry that I'm not like sad enough for you" those words made him quiet and I knew that this was for the best. I couldn't be another burden for someone else who didn't deserve me.

He scoffs putting back in his clothes. "You are such a broken soul, Liv" he walked over to the door before I could say anything else.

"You can leave your bracelet on the cabinet" he spoke before leaving. I stared at the purple bracelet with our initials on it.

I knew that I was suppose to feel sad but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to do it.

"Let me see" she walks closer to me breaking my thoughts and I give her my phone in an instant. I don't know why but I just felt some sort of trust in her eyes. Her eyes just felt like the more I looked I will be given every single answer I was dying to hear.

She glances back at me and it turns into a gaze. "What?" I felt myself smile as I forced it to stop. "Your phone is locked" she said like a warning and I felt my heart quicken. I unlock my phone feeling her gaze.

I forgot to change my lock screen of me and Adam. Okay maybe I just didn't want to erase the only moments where I did feel like I knew a sense of what love was.

I give her back the phone and she scans though my schedule. "Okay... follow me sweetheart" she walked passed me as I felt some sort of leach on me making me have to follow her rather I wanted to or not.

It was like she had control over me.

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