Pretend

Chapter 63

Liv's POV:

The car ride with Nick was silent which I enjoyed as I spent the remaining time thinking about Torrey.

I found myself fiddling with my wrist feeling the remaining touch of Torrey. I couldn't shake the feeling of her skin against mine, the way her eyes looked at me, filled with both love and pain. My mind kept replaying the moment she told me she loved me.

I press my hand against my chest, as I felt like I betrayed myself. I force myself to not say those words back. The words I have been holding in for so long.

The words I never thought I could ever feel.

Nick glanced at me a few times, but I was too lost in my thoughts to engage in conversation. I could sense his discomfort and confusion about what he had witnessed, but I couldn't bring myself to care at that moment.

Nick's presence next to me felt like a barrier between the world I was in and the world I wanted to be in. He was kind and steady, but he wasn't Torrey.

I also hate myself for leading him on for this long. At first it was to get information for Chris which I hate myself even more for agreeing and later it was to get Torrey jealous.

He doesn't deserve to be roped into this.

He stops at a red light and sighs. "Nick-"

"Wendy's is 3 minutes away... still want it?" He asks looking at me. His eyes were so soft and gentle. He cared about me, even when I don't deserve it from him.

"Yeah" I said quietly. "Wendy's sounds good"

He gave a small smile and turned his attention back to the road. "Alright. We'll be there soon"

The car ride continued in silence, but it felt a little more comfortable now. I appreciated Nick's presence, even though my mind was still consumed with thoughts of Torrey.

When we pulled into the Wendy's parking lot, Nick parked the car and turned to me. "Do you want to go in, or should I grab the food to-go?"

I hesitated for a moment before answering. "Let's go in. I think I could use a change of scenery."

He nodded, and we both got out of the car. As we walked into the restaurant, I tried to push my worries aside and focus on the present. We ordered our food and found a quiet corner to sit and eat.

Nick was quiet, giving me the space I needed. It was nice, in a way, just being in the moment without any expectations or pressure. As we ate, I found myself relaxing a little. Nick was a good friend, and even though my feelings for him weren't what he wanted them to be, I knew he cared about me.

After we finished eating, we sat there for a while, sipping our drinks. The silence between us was more comfortable now, a mutual understanding that words weren't necessary.

I needed to tell him the truth. "I have to tell you something" my voice trembling slightly.

Nick looked up from his drink, concern evident in his eyes. "What is it, Liv?"

I took a deep breath, gathering my thoughts. "Do you know the feud with Newton inc and your family?"

Nick's eyes widened slightly, his brow furrowing. "Yeah, I've heard about it. My family has been in conflict with Newton Inc for a while now. Why do you ask?"

I hesitated, unsure of how to proceed. "Chris Newton... he's been using me to get close to you. He thought I could help him get an advantage over your family."

Nick's expression darkened, his jaw tightening. "So, you were spying on me? For Chris? Torrey's dad? Is she.. apart of this?"

"What no and It's not like that," I said quickly, my heart pounding.

"At first, it was just to get information. But I never went through with the plan which was suppose to happen at the party. But I got to know you more and I just couldn't bring myself to do it"

He ran a hand through his hair, frustration evident on his face. "And Torrey? Does she know about this?"

"No," I said firmly. "She has no idea. This was all Chris's plan. Torrey wasn't involved. I didn't tell her because I didn't want to drag her into this mess."

He stared at me for a long moment, then stood up. "I'll drive you home"

The ride back was quiet, the earlier comfort now replaced with a tense silence. Nick's grip on the steering wheel was tight, his knuckles white. I wanted to say something, anything, to make things right, but the words stuck in my throat.

When we finally arrived at my house, he parked the car and turned off the engine. He didn't look at me, just stared straight ahead.

"I know your mad at me-"

"I can never be mad at you, Liv" he whispered still staring straight ahead. "I'm mad at him for trying to use you to get to me when you are so much more than someone's pawn" he shifts to look at me with his soft eyes.

His gaze was everything I could want in a person, but someone I knew I would never truly be with.

His understanding was deep, but he'd never fully understand the complexity of my own feelings. I appreciated his compassion, even if it made my own conflicted emotions all the more apparent.

He just wasn't Torrey.

"I appreciate everything you've done, Nick. I really do"

I lean in for hug as he wraps his arms around my waist pulling me in. His hold was soft but longer then expected.

He finally leans back, and softly smiles. "Goodnight, Liv" he whispered.

All I could do was return his smile, feeling a mixture of gratitude and sadness as I stepped out of the car and headed towards my front door.

I unlock the door, and I see my mom and Chris siting near the kitchen table. They make eye contact with me, and immediately get up.

"Where the hell have you been?" my mom asked panicked as she rushed over to me and hugged me tight.

"Where's Shawn?" Chris asked in a strong tone.

"He's safe"