Pretend

Chapter 25

Torrey's POV:

I made the decision to drive down to the only dorm building I ever go to. I felt my heart beating out of my chest, once I made it.

The more I walked in, the more u started to realize that I was in fact scared. Scared that I might get an answer I don't want , scared that whatever we had left is forever gone, and scared that after everything, I'm going to be alone.

I knock on her door. I wait for what felt like years until the door opened and my eyes land on her.

She seemed to have just woken up and her eyes immediately widened once she met my eyes.

"W- what are you doing.... Here?" She asked and I tell myself in my head that I can't pull back now. I need to tell her. I can't wuss out of this but instead I said this.

"I'm having.. a birthday party... tonight. At my house and I wanted to ask if you wanted to come"

My words seemed to surprise her and her eyes become dull like she was thinking of something.

"Happy... birthday" Her words seemed 10x more than the birthday Itself.

She leaned towards me and before I knew it, I was pulled into a hug. I felt myself freeze before my body took control and grabbed hold of her and pull her in more.

We stayed like for more than 2 minutes before leaning away. "Maddy... I didn't just come here to invite you to some party" my throat felt like there's was a huge ball forcing me to whisper.

Her eyes gaze held mine making this harder then it had to be. She stepped out and closed the door.

"Torrey.."

"I'm sorry. But I need to say this because if I don't. Then it would eat me inside" She warned me that this would happen.

The first day, she warned me and I didn't believe her. She made me want to be love and it fucking hurts.

"I.. can't stand not being around you. You fill me and make me believe that I am worth it, I need that. I need you" i felt like I can breathe but also was drowning at the same time.

Her eyes softened melting me as I spoke those words. All I wanted to was kiss her and never let go.

Never again.

She breathed out steady before stepping closer to me.

"Torrey, I... don't feel the same anymore"

Now I was just drowning. I felt like a complete fool just standing there as she now just had pity for me. I knew I was foolish enough to even try to make things right with her when the world would never have my back.

I walk away not being able to catch full breaths anymore. "Torrey..." that's all I heard before heading back into the elevator and making sure I never come back here again.

•••

I didn't want to come home either. It felt like everyone was against me. Well almost everyone.

I sat on couch in the living room smoking weed with my friend Isaiah and Lucas.

I told them everything because if I didn't try to speak it out in the open then I know I would just try to gaslight the situation in my head.

I needed to hear the truth from my own lips.

Lucas coughs "bro how many times is that girl going to have to break your heart for you to understand that she doesn't want you"

"You could have said that a little nicer" Isaiah said tapping Lucas shoulder but Lucas was right. Can't believe I'm even saying that but he was.

I guess I was to busy stuck on the past. "Oh sorry. Why are you so gloomy? It's your birthday. Birthdays are meant to be fun. There's a party happening to night, hosted just for you" Lucas said rubbing his shoulder.

"Thank you but my.. family is already hosting a party at our house. They basically invited all the family households even the ones who hate my core"

I should have just went to the movies.

"C'mon. You really wanna make your day worst by going to that event held by tacky people who buy $500 forks" Issaih said and I couldn't help but laugh.

Really thinking about the last dinner event I had with them, I should probably save myself the trouble by even trying to insert myself into chaos.

"Ok. Fine" seconds later they crowded me and started to hype me up leaving me no other option but to laugh.