Pretend

Chapter 43

Liv's POV:

I finally changed into my dress and unexpectedly it fitted perfectly. I felt like sleeping into this.

I felt an unsettling feeling though. I didn't feel like myself. Old me would have been studying all day or read but now I'm always in parties and wearing expensive dresses that I would have never thought I would be able to even look at.

I was no longer afraid of how my future would turn out. How my major would shape me or make it easier for me to pay my bills. I was just in it because I wanted to be a lawyer.

I no longer had to be afraid. I curled my hair and applied some makeup before heading out.

Unlike thanksgiving there wasn't kids roaming around the halls or people chattering so loud that you would need out headphone on.

In fact I kept on seeing people take the elevator. Why wasn't there an table in the dining room? Where exactly are we having this brunch?

I see some people still outside as I walked over and opened the door. My eyes land on Torrey and Maddy as they were talking, and I saw Maddy hands stop touching Torrey's.

You got to be fucking kidding me?

"Speak of the devil, we were just talking about you" Maddy said as she walked up to me and pecked my lips.

I didn't know we were okay. I sure wasn't. I also didn't know that Torrey and her were friends now.

I just keep on getting surprises. Seeing them together gave me a weird tingling in my stomach that I couldn't quite explain.

Torrey seemed nervous. More nervous then I've ever seen her. She pressed her hands into her pockets as I just realized she was in a suit . She looked good.

Platonic comment.

But that wasn't the point. The point was how awkward the feeling was. "What's with the awkward silence... you guys looked like you murdered somebody" Maddy laughed looking between us as I notice Torrey fiddling with something in her pocket.

My eyes went up to her as her eyes were already on mine. Her eyes mixed with sadness and a mix of anger.

After everything, she is still trying to get together with Maddy. After everything.

Two can play that game.

"Nothing" I whispered to her as her smile faded and her eyes gazed at mine as she watched me lean in and press my lips against hers. She tried to lean back but I took in her lips and move my hands up to her chin caressing her.

I needed to feel something. Something that would make me stop thinking about Torrey. And I also needed to know, how extreme would she go to show Torrey that she no longer wants her.

I open my left eye as I saw her rub her chin before walking away through the crowd.

I lean away as Maddy lips remained parted. "What was that?" She asked as I rubbed my lips and looked around for my mom. I was done with her for today. If she wants to use me when she feels like it, I would do the same.

"We're having fun right?" is all I said to her as I headed downstairs to greet the guests.

I recognize some people and I see Chris talking to the guests as his smile made everyone around him smile. They were all failing for his game and it was so obvious now.

I start to feel a pinch of guilt in my heart, I had a chance to tell my mom. Yet all I could think was that I would be losing all of this. The money, the dresses, my covered tuition and my new life.

I feel someone grab into my arm and pulled me behind a car. The grip was so strong that it hurt to break free. I look at the person and see that is Torrey.

She leaned in front of me blocking my view from anything. She was so close that I had to look around to see if anyone was looking.

Especially Maddy.

I look around but could only notice Chris still talking to people. "Don't look at him. Look at me" her words were firm as she pressed her hand around my chin and moved it to me.

I felt numb in the knees as I couldn't help but look at her. Her eyes gazed at mine like she was searching something.

Her hands lean away as she breathed in trying to form words. "What was that?" She asked as she leaned back and placed both her hands on the sides of her waist.

What was what? And why the hell does she think she can touch me? "What are you talking about?"

"Please don't act stupid.. it's to early for that. The Kiss" she stated as I felt a shift of anger in me. Stupid. I wanted to leave but her view made me stay put. It was like I was stuck.

"First of all.. call me stupid again.. you'll regret it and the kiss I'm guessing you are referring to, was me and Maddy. I haven't seen her in a while so I greeted her"

She laughed like it was a joke as she looked around before leaning closer. "You were trying to make me jealous" she whispered as I smiled.

She thinks so high of herself to think I would spend my lips to make her jealous. I pause my lips to hope that she would come up with some insult to cover her jealousy yet she remained content with her statement.

Her eyes broaden as she waited for a response. "You and maddy are over.. if you are so jealous that I kissed her.. tell her that you love her. I'm so tired of this" my lips became dry as I couldn't believe I just gave her permission to take Maddy.

She stepped back like I insulted her. "Is.. that what you want?" She asked as her eyes softened looking at me and her lips frowned.

What I want? What does she mean by that? Of course I don't want her to be with Maddy because rather I deny it or not... I have feeling for Maddy.

Yet all she wants is fun. I do fun but I don't do one-sided relationships.

She can tell her  and finally leave me alone. I don't want to get hurt because deep down I know I will and I don't think I will be able to handle it.

"You love her right?"

"It doesn't matter... she doesn't love me. Okay. I tried and tried but.. in the end... your the one she wants" she struggled in her words as she looked at the ground.

"I don't think... I'm what she needs right now. Or ever. Yet.. I can tell... your what she needs even when you guys can't see it for yourself. You guys can't stop seeing each other"

She doesn't say anything but looks at me. She was obviously surprised and shocked to what I was saying and honestly so was i. Yet I realized that I can't change how she feels about Maddy and maddy won't tell me how she feels about me.

I'm stuck.

"If your not going to tell her for yourself or her... do it for me... whatever is happening between us... it needs to end" All of a sudden I started to feel a kick at my heart like sadness was creaking in.

She clenched her jaw and closed her eyes hard as she inhaled the air within us. She opened her eyes and looked at me.

"I can't... and you have nothing to worry about because nothing is happening between us. I haven't gotten laid in days and thought-"

"What? That I was easy" I felt my heart break as I couldn't believe what she was saying.

"No... you were just there. I'm thankful truly... I mean you aren't a bad kisser but I don't... like you. I mean we hate.. each other. We're suppose to hate each other...So stay with Maddy because I'm done. You win...Liv. You won"

Then why doesn't it feel like I won?