Let it kill you (Dabi x reader

Chapter 49

♧ ♧ ♧
It took about a month and a half for Dabi to be able to walk on his own with out feeling any pain but he was getting better. It also took three weeks for him to get the entirety of his blood supply back. In total you gave 8 pints of blood to him. His wounds were healing fast enough and you, Hawks, and Jasmine brought him back to his apartment. You stayed with him until he was almost fully healed. There were a lot of nights he woke up in extreme pain and you just had to try and talk him through it. Hawks had gotten him the strongest pain killers he could find but you couldn't just keep giving them to him otherwise he would become an addict.

It was a long two months for him and you stayed with him the entire time. Hawks would come over pretty often so you could have a mental break or even to get some rest. Shigarki only cared about if he would be fully healed in time for the mission to get the new recruit. You assured him that he would be and that was the length his care went. As of right now Dabi was ready to get his stitches out and his staples put in. He was sitting on the counter and you were gently taking out his stitches.

"Can you hurry up" he said looking down at you.

"Dabi I swear to god if you ask me that one more time" you said and he chuckled lightly. "I'm going as fast as I can without hurting you"

"I know I'm just messing with you" he said rubbing your head with his hand. "But seriously we've been here an hour and you aren't even halfway done" he said making you lean forward and put your hands on the counter on either side of him.

"Oh I'm so sorry" you said softly as you leaned closer to his face and you saw lust fill his eyes. "Would it better for you if I did it like this" you said in a sultry tone before you ripped out one of his stitches.

"Ow son of a bitch Y/n!" He said and you smiled.

"See that didn't feel very good" you said going back to what you were doing. "So if you don't want it to feel like that the whole time I suggest you be patient" you said and he rolled his eyes.

It took you about 2 and half hours to get everything done but it was done. You looked up at him and could see he was tired.

"You should go rest before the meeting tonight" you said washing your hands.

"I'll be fine" he said hopping off the counter.

"Dabi I wasn't asking" you said shutting off the water. "I was telling you"

"Ooo someone's feisty today" he said in a teasing tone while he played with your hair seeing your board expression. "Fine I'll go" he said and you smiled softly.

He walked to the room and looked at himself in the mirror. He looked over himself and felt anger run over him. Every time he saw the new scars on his unburnt skin he felt angry. He didn't like them there. He didn't know why he cared so much considering he had scars all over but it did. He ran his fingers gently over the scar on his side and got a flashback to when he told you not to put the lighter to it. He didn't remember much but he did remember you getting there and he remembered what every burn you gave him felt like especially that one. He was trying his best not to be mad at you because you were just trying to help him but he couldn't get the feeling out of his head.

You walked down the hall and saw Dabi looking at himself in the mirror. You stopped and just watched him touch all of the new scars he had. You looked at his face and he looked disgusted. You looked down seeing him look so unhappy. You felt terrible that you had to give him new scars but you did what you had to. You looked up and saw him sigh and walk to the bed. You sighed and walked into the bathroom to take a shower. You turned on the water and undressed before you got under the water. You stood under the water for a second getting flashbacks to that day.

Flashback- after Y/n left the hideout.

I walked in the apartment and it was quiet. Jasmine must be sleeping. I walked into my room grabbing my towel and walking into the bathroom. I turned on the water and I watched it run for a few seconds before I walked in front of the mirror. When I saw myself I lightly gasped. It was everywhere. The blood. It was all the way up my arms and neck and on my face. I felt my eyes start to burn as I looked at myself. I looked down and squeezed my eyes shut. He could have died and I was too busy with a boy to even answer my phone. I thought to myself as tears rolled down my face. I squeezed the edge of the counter before looking back up at myself.

I felt angry. I felt my head start to spin as I looked at myself longer getting flashbacks from earlier. His scream was engraved in my mind and it wouldn't leave. I started to sob as I looked at myself with disgust. I didn't want to see myself anymore. I pulled my fist back and punched the mirror making the glass shatter and fall into the sink as I cried harder. I leaned my back on the wall and slid down till I was on the floor.

"Y/n?!" Jasmine said frantically as the door swung open. She looked at the mirror then down to me. "Y/n breath, what's wrong?" She asked me getting on her knees and trying to calm me down.

"He- he could have died and I couldn't even bother to pick up the phone" I said crying harder.

She just looked at me. She pulled me into hug her and just held me.

"Y/n but he didn't die" she said stroking my hair. "He's alive because of you" she said as I cried into her chest.

I was crying so hard that my eyes were burning and my head was hurting.

"Come on you need to get in the shower." She said taking off my shoes and picking me up off the floor.

She pushed the curtain to the side and didn't even bother to take off my or her clothes. She put me under the water and washed off my skin that was showing and rinsed out my hair. I watched the bloody water drain and continued to cry. What was wrong with me? I don't think Dabi had it right earlier. He said no one could love me but that wasn't true. People could love me I just couldn't love people because all the people I have loved have gotten hurt.
♧ ♧ ♧