Summertime Sadness (The Lost Souls on Tour: The Third Tour)

Stage 36

Stage 36

I always thought that I was being selfless whenever I am pushing him away. But hearing his words, that's when I realized that I was actually being...selfish. 

He wanted to share my pain, but I pushed him away and let myself get devoured by it and now it broke me. Kahit na sa isang relasyon, natural na dapat sasamahan ka ng isa sa sakit, hirap, at ginhawa. But what did I do? I only wanted to be with him in my strengths but never in my weaknesses. And it pains him a lot. It hurts him that he almost thought that I didn't trust him at my worst and only want him at my best. 

I shook my head while crying. Hinayaan ko ang aking mga braso na pumalibot sa kaniya pabalik—not even minding the gazes of everyone watching us. Nagagalit pa rin ako, natatakot para sa kaniya. Ngunit nang maisip na siya rin pala, gano'n ang nararamdaman sa akin, siguro nga makasarili ako. I wanted the peace of mind only for myself but I never gave that to him. I never let him to. And that is...probably...not a good...thing. 

"I-I'm s-sorry..." I whispered lowly when I finally understand his pain. When I finally understand that...I'm also causing him this kind of pain. 

Gaano nga ba kasakit na itulak palayo ka ng taong mahal mo pagkatapos mo'ng gustuhin na samahan siya sa lahat ng sakit?

I felt his lips on my head once again. Tumagal ang labi niya roon habang ako ay nagsasalita habang ang mukha ko ay nakabaon sa kaniyang dibdib. 

Being in his arms somehow comforted me. I feel like I just got home after a long tiring day like he knows that he will be my escape from this cruel world. And here he is, spreading his arms to welcome me and comfort me after I repeatedly pushed him away. 

"I-I'm s-sorry for not t-trusting you, Suriel. I-I'm s-sorry for pushing you away..."

"Hmm..." he hummed sweetly. "I'm sorry, Far. I can't wait any longer anymore. Kahit sinabi mo na huwag ako'ng makialam, I can't just wait any longer to be with you again, kaya tinuloy ko pa rin 'to."

I nodded my head. I understand. Sa totoo lang, napapagod na rin ako. It's actually convenient for me, too. I did my revenge, too and I just want to get justice but...I feel so tired. And now, I feel like Suriel really knows me, that I am tired that is why he does this...

"Don't worry, your brothers know about it. And it was successful...because of them."

My breath hitched, oo nga pala. Bago ang lahat, may dapat ako'ng kausapin. 

Kumawala ako sa pagkakayakap sa kaniya at agad na hinarap ang aking mga kapatid na may sarkastikong ngisi na nakapaskil sa aking labi kahit pa na may mga luha pa rin na tumutulo mula sa aking mga mata. I looked at them, a bit angry for not telling me about it again. 

Inosente ako'ng tiningnan ni Ryzen habang si Kuya Zeus naman ay hindi nagbago ang reaksyon. 

"Ang hilig niyong magtago ng sikreto sa akin, 'no?" Inis ko'ng ani. 

Ngumisi si Ryzen. "We just wanted to protect you and we well...we also know that you won't let us conspire it with your boyfriend."

I gritted my teeth. "What kind of agent are you? Kinailangan mo pa talaga ng tulong ni Suriel?"

Narinig ko ang buntong-hininga ni Suriel mula sa likod ko.

He rolled his eyes lazily. "Just like what I've told you, ate. Kuya Suriel...is the easier route."

"Paano ang plano?" I asked lowly. He has some plans for this. Yes, he planned to bring the empire of the Gonzagas down, too but not in this way. Lalo na at hirap kaming gumalaw dahil nagtatago pa rin kami noon at ngayon kahit lantad na buhay kami ay hindi pa rin kami makagalaw...nang malaya.