Summertime Sadness (The Lost Souls on Tour: The Third Tour)

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"Suriel..."

I groaned and closed my eyes tightly when I saw my mother's frown when she noticed me trying to sneak out of her party. Ang itim niyang mata ay nanunulis na ang tingin sa akin nang makita ako'ng mabagal na naglalakad papunta sa likod ng aming bahay para lang makatakas. 

"You will still play for us," nagtatampo niyang ani. "Your tita Chiara is looking forward to it. Even her daughter."

Ngumiwi ako at saka huminga nang malalim. 

"I know. Mamaya pa naman po."

She glared at me more. "Why are you always like this, Zephyrus?"

I looked at her solemnly, not even wanting to explain myself because that is exhausting. Well, everything is just always...exhausting. This party, the unknown people around, fake smiles, deafening laughter, praises that are all over just for goddamn socialization...all of it are just really exhausting to bear. 

I'd rather stay away from them because all of the things that they are showing are just concealing every little bad thing that is within. That's why, I rather sleep than interact with them because all I could notice is...their lies and it's exhausting. 

"Iidlip lang po ako," pag-iwas ko sa kaniyang tanong. "Mamaya pa naman po ako tutugtog. I'll stay in our backyard garden. You can wake me up there."

Ni hindi ko na hinintay ang kaniyang sagot at dire-diretso lang na umalis papunta sa pintuan ng aming kusina. Bukod din kasi sa ayaw ko makisama sa mga sinungaling na tao, some little girls are trying to talk to me. 

Huminga ako nang malalim nang makita ang malaking puno sa likod ng aming bahay. Diretso lang ang lakad ko roon bago ako sumulyap sa langit kung saan ako ginagabayan ng misteryosong buwan na siyang nagsusumigaw ng kulay ng aking mata. I sat on the huge vein of the tree and then lay down to sleep. Hindi pa ako agad nakatulog dahil pinapakinggan ko pa ang kuliglig sa paligid bago ako tuluyang hinila ng antok. 

My forehead furrowed as I tried so hard to go back to sleep when I suddenly heard a sob somewhere. Gusto ko pang matulog dahil paniguradong maya-maya lang ay tatawagin na ako ni Mama. Pero dahil sa ingay ng bawat hikbi at pag-iyak, hindi na ako mahila pa muli ng dilim. 

I sat down, irritated as I looked around to see who the fuck is crying. May party sa loob pero may umiiyak dito? Iisipin ko sanang multo iyon pero nang makita ko ang isang batang babae na nakaupo hindi kalayuan sa aking puwesto, mas lalong nanindig ang iritasyon sa akin. 

Her love untamed wavy hair was scattered on the grass because she was sitting comfortably on it while holding something. Even her white dress was scattered like she doesn't care even though she is sitting on the ground. 

I noticed what she was holding, it was a dead bird in her palm and she was crying about it. Hindi ko masyadong maaninag ang mukha niya dahil nakatungo ito. Her shoulders are shaking with little sobs coming out from her throat like she is trying to suppress them. 

I scoffed irritatingly. Narinig niya yata iyon kaya napatingin siya sa akin. My brows are meeting angrily but then I suddenly felt it relaxing when the moment my eyes touched her. Even my lips started to part slowly like I was mesmerized or...what. 

Puno ng luha ang mata niya habang inosenteng nakatingin sa akin. Even though the way her eyes look, I could see that there was innocence in it. Her eyes are almond-shaped, even looks like someone who is trying to seduce or what. Pero dahil bata pa naman, alam ko'ng katangahan ang ideyang naisip na 'yon. 

Well, maybe not all the good things that we see, conceal every bad thing that within. But sometimes, the bad things that we see, conceal every little good thing that is within.