Humor Me (Steve Rogers fanfiction)

Chapter 34

"Sharon is alive?" I say it louder and with more panic than I anticipated. Steve doesn't seem to be surprised by my reaction at all.

My thoughts are racing. I thought Sharon died when Bucky shot her and honestly I thought the world was better off without her. I was better off without her.

Images of her flash through my mind. Her inducing me with the serum. Her smiling down on me, when I was writhing in pain. Her shooting those weapons on me. Her controlling the electric pulses they sent through my brain.

"Hey." I hear Steve's soft voice while he caresses the back of my hand to bring me back from my thoughts.

"Steve" but I don't even know where I'm going with this. It's his turn to explain. I feel my lips starting to shake so I press them together to make it stop. Tears burning in my eyes. Sharon is alive. Steve knew.

"I wanted to tell you but it didn't feel safe at the time." Safe? That's what he's going with? Just when I thought I could trust him again. This stings.

"You kept the woman that tortured me alive and didn't tell me about it Steve." I say to sum up this absolutely ridiculous situation. He drops his head between his shoulders.

"Yes." He says. I can see, that he's fighting his own guilt.

"Oh my God." I bury my face in my hands to shut him and the world out for a moment. But his hands are instantly on mine, removing them gently.

"Hey, hey. Listen to my Ivy, I-"

"Please tell me this has nothing to do with your history with her." I interrupt him I see terror wash over his features before his features soften again. He squeezes my hands between his and looks me in the eyes with a whole lot of determination. Somehow it makes me feel like this is the most serious he's ever been.

He shakes his head slightly. "No."

I bite my lip and look away. I believe him. And I hate that I believe him because it makes me feel like a lovedrunk fool. And just when I try to reason with myself that Steve would never lie to me, I remember all the times he did.

But then again I lied too.

"I promise you, Ivy." His eyes search for mine and when I return his gaze there's a deep sadness behind it. "This has nothing to do with Sharon's and my history. I'm always surprised when people bring it up because it really was nothing. It was one kiss. Nothing compared to you or-"

"Or Peggy." I finish his sentence. And somehow it doesn't even hurt to say it. I get it. I may not have been Steve's first love but I damn sure intent to be his last.

I see how my words affected Steve though. So I reach forward and cup his cheek, my thumb stroking his skin.

"I swear to you, this is strictly about the insight Sharon can give us on Hydra. She knows almost everything. She's been working for them for a long time. Please, you have to believe me Ivy."

I return his gaze and nod. "I believe you."

It still sucks that he lied to me. But watching back on the situation after I tried to run away...I fucking tried to run away! Of course he couldn't trust me with Sharon. Who knows what I would have done? I certainly don't.

Then one thing Steve said bounces back into my thoughts and I stiffen.

"Why would you need insight on Hydra? Bucky said you destroyed all of the weapons."

Steve's eye grow weary as he scans my face.

"But not all of Hydra."

My body instantly breaks into fight or flight mode. Of course! There must be Hydra bases all over the world. They probably are still operating. They might not have those advanced weapons but they probably are still very dangerous. Especially when we don't know where they are and who's working for them.