Humor Me (Steve Rogers fanfiction)

Chapter 20 - Steve's POV

„What do you think he wants?" I ask Sam, while we walk down the hall towards one of the conference rooms.

„I have absolutely no idea. I mean, they have been searching for...her." He takes a little break before saying the last word. Ever since she's been gone, it seems as if saying her name causes him physical pain.

„So maybe he has good news for us." I try, but Sam doesn't take the bait. He stops right when we reach the door of the meeting room and looks at me. There are dark circles under his eyes, carried by big bags. He looks like literal crap. Understandable, considering his best friend, whom he loves like a sister is gone. We don't know where Ivy is.

All I know is, she left right after we had sex and I can't help but feel, that that was her plan all along. I told Sam, that I think she went to follow a lead concerning her parents. Which ultimately would lead her to Hydra.

I searched her computer for any clue and found one in the data she stole the first time we were on a mission together. The whereabouts of the so-called Powerbroker.

Bucky and I immediately left the compound to go search there. The door was open, when we arrived, not sign of forced entry.

We searched the entire apartment. I started with the kitchen, Bucky went to the living room.

„Steve!" Buck yelled and I made my way over to him, freezing in my movement, when I saw what he had discovered. „There was a fight here."

Bucky was right. Some chairs were flipped, the table looked like someone pushed it out the way. And there was blood. On the table, on the floor and on her gun. The gun she must have dropped during the fight and then bled on later.

I swallow in memory of how the sight of her blood everywhere made me feel. Like my insides froze. And I am more than glad, that we didn't bring Sam along for this. He's worried enough as it is.

We still had to tell him everything we discovered, but at least he didn't have to see it with his own eyes.

I look at him and place my hand on his shoulder, giving it a warm squeeze. I know nothing I say will ever take away his worry. But I can't just say nothing.

„We will find her." I say. Sam swallows and then nods, before he turns to walk into the room. I sigh and press my teeth together. This is such a mess and we literally have no lead whatsoever.

Why would she do that? Leave and go after Hydra on her own?

Well, I know why she thought she had to do it. She didn't want to give us a chance to help. And that itself is so idiotic, that I want to flip over the huge table I now sit down at. For all we knew she could be dead. But as I look over at Bucky, who's already sitting at the table, I know she's not dead. She's way too valuable for Hydra to just kill her. The fact that they keep her alive for whatever reason is almost more scary than the thought of them killing her.

She makes me so angry. She drives me crazy. But I know, that the worst thing about her leaving was the way she did it...to me.

„Gentlemen." I lift my head up to look at the Secretary of State.

„Ross." Sam says, his voice now a little more stabil. But he didn't sit down. He's standing at the end of the table, arms crossed before his chest, ready to block any bad news Ross might throw his way.

The Secretary looks at me and I grant him a nod. It takes every strength inside me, not to let my anxiety show by wriggling my leg.

„We were able to gather some information concerning agent Morris." Ross cuts straight to the chase. I hear Sam sharply sucking in some air behind me. Bucky balls his hands into fist and flexes his jaw. His nostrils flare. He also seems like he's about to lose it.

I try to not let anything show. No one knows we had sex again and everybody thinks I hate her, which technically I should. Especially after that move she pulled.

„She's at a secret Hydra location-"

„Where is it?" I interrupt him, not being able to hold my anxiety in anymore. Luckily I sound more angry than anxious.

„We couldn't track it yet." Ross replies. I hear Sam shift on his feet. I fight the urge to stand up and walk back and forth. „But we got some insight on her..." He stops.

„Her what?" Bucky might as well have spat those words.

„Her treatment." I press my teeth together.

„Treatment?" I push out.

„They are currently testing weapons to see what damage they can cause to the human body." I need a second to process what was just said. And so do the others, because silence hits the room.

Testing weapons? On Ivy?

„But that will kill her." Sam's voice is louder than usual but I can still tell, that he's trying to hold back. I know he's fighting the urge to run outside and search every spot on the surface of the earth for her.

„Unfortunately it won't." I lift my head back up at the Secretary's words. Unfortunately?

„Hydra seems interested in keeping her alive for as long as they can." Ross continues. „So they have induced her with the supersoldier serum."

As soon as these words hit us, I hear Bucky jump up. His chair flies through the air against the wall, leaving a dent there. Sam squats down and burries his face in his palms.

As I see my friends react, it takes a second for the full information Ross just gave us to hit me. My mouth goes dry.

„She'll heal after they test her, so that they can start over the next day." My icy insides resonate in my voice. The realisations of that very fact sends my thoughts spiraling. Now I understand why the Secretary used the word unfortunately. The pleasant thing for her would be to just be able to die. But she won't. Her body will heal over and over again. The experiments will continue.

The thing that can't be repared is her spirit. Her heart. Her mind. It will slowly but surely break her to have to endure so much pain.

„Captain, please know, we're doing everything we can to find her." I look up at him. He seems to be sincere, but I know their efforts won't do. We have to work alongside them. Doing our own research. For him it's just his job – for us it's much more. You know, especially for Sam and Bucky. Their best friend is being tortured as we speak.

„Thank you Secretary." I say and nod, giving him permission to leave.

As soon as he's out the door, I turn towards Buck and Sam. Sam is still in his squat position, his hands folded over his nose and mouth, staring down the air before him.

Bucky is clutching the back of a chair, leaning on it. The knuckles on his human arm have turned white already.

„We're just going to wait for them to find her?" He presses out.

„Of course not." I reply. Him and Sam look at me. I stand up and tip my index finger on the table. „We act now. We can't wait for them to find Ivy."

I see Sam flinch at the sound of her name, but he stands up and nods to me. Bucky pushes himself up, too.

„Whatever it takes." I say.