Adora

Chapter 15

MY chest is too heavy and I'm crying silently. Those words just came bursting out from my lips and it pains me more seeing that he just gripped the sword tightly again, went back to fight off and kill the monsters, as if what I told him was just nothing.

"Lillian, Lillian, ayos ka lang?" Naunang nakarating si Lom. "Halika na. Umalis na muna tayo rito. Kaya na nilang labanan iyan."

"Lily," My brother called. They're all acting as if they didn't hear what I goddamn shouted. "Sumama ka na kay Lom at huwag na huwag ka nang aalis pa ulit at bumalik dito. It's dangerous."

"Forget everything I have said. Patawad kung naging tanga ako." I coldly spoke. "Kung maaari ay umakto kayong walang nangyari ngayon. Uncle Kozan, sorry po ulit. If I caused much more trouble than it should have been. Aalis na po ako."

"Lillian---"

Walang sali-salitang lumangoy ako palayo. And yeah, I got the attention of a fucking monster and it quickly charged against me.

"LILLIAN!"

Mabilis ko itong pinatamaan ng mahika ko. And I don't know. Maybe because until now, my heart is still raging, my emotions are blazing all over me, inside me, and maybe that's why my magic is too strong that it pushed away the monster, far enough from us. Pero may naramdaman na ako sa ilong ko.

Mabilis akong tumalikod sa kanila.

I quickly swam away.

I'm bleeding again. And still quietly crying. Kahit gaano ko pa ito pigilan.

"Shit! Dugo! She's bleeding! Lily!"

"Hija? Saan ka pupun---"

Linagpasan ko ang reyna at lumangoy palayo. Nagiging tanga na naman ako. Dahil lang nasaktan ako. Dahil lang nakita ko siya na hindi apektado. I swam away, faster and when I saw a cave, I went there, kept myself in the dark and pinched my nose.

"Damn you, Andreas. Hindi ka lang epal, ikaw na ang pinakaayaw kong lalaki sa buong mundo." I balled my hands into fist.

At kahit gaano ko pa itanggi, masakit talaga sa dibdib.

Those raw words, those furious shouts from him. Ni kahit kailan, kahit ganoon ang ugali niya, ay hindi ko man lang inisip na makakaya niya akong sigawan. Because maybe I expected that he cares for me as well, even just a pinch. But now, I realized that he was just driven by a promise, by a mere job as a soldier. Na ako lang pala talaga ang nahulog.

Of course, how could he like me? He made it clear that he doesn't like me.

His words were even fucking pernicious. Paulit-ulit ko iyong naririnig sa loob ng isipan ko. Ang malas ko naman. Siya pa talaga ang nagustuhan ko. And I realized how foolish I really was earlier. Handa kong ipahamak ang sarili ko para sa kaniya.

Oh c'mon. Fuck it, Lillian.

How could you ever love a man like him?

One that doesn't even care about you? Someone who only protects you out of duty? Out of promise? Someone who only talks to you because he doesn't have a choice? Someone who can be mad at you for even trying to save him?

Paano nga ba?

I laughed while crying. Parang baliw na ako rito. When I let go of my nose, blood still mixed with the deep. Kahit madilim ay alam kong may lumalabas pa rin mula sa ilong ko. I'm still bleeding, and my energy is drained now.

"Where is she?!"

"Samuel, huminahon ka. Hahanapin natin si Lillian. Sigurado akong hindi pa siya nakakalayo. And trust your sister, she will never leave us. Hindi niya ipapahamak ang sarili."