Adora

Chapter 21

LEONARDO

SHE was 18 in the human world, and 26 in Adora when she died. Lily was still too young, my sister died too young. Marami pa siyang gustong gawin, marami pa siyang magagawa. Gusto niya pang maging guro, gusto niya pang magkaroon ng pamilya, gusto niyang maglibot sa buong mundo. She had so many plans for her future, and they vanished like specks of dust in a moment.

Kanina pa kami umiiyak ng mga kapatid ko, at kanina pa si tatay. Seeing how vulnerable we are right now, I can't help but to break down inside. Ayokong umiyak nang umiyak dahil kailangan kong damayan sina Samuel at Lawrence.

"She . . ." Napalingon ako kay Samuel. "She promised me she won't die. And I promised as well. But look now, I'm the only one who's here."

"Kuya Sam, hindi mo iyon kasalanan. Kung nandito si Lily ay kanina ka pa niya binatukan." Sabi ni Batas.

"Tangina naman, Batas." Napakunot ang noo ko nang mapait na tumawa si Samuel. "Huwag mo nang sabihin sa akin ang mga bagay na puwedeng mangyari kung nandito si Lily, kasi maiiyak na naman ako. Shit."

"S-sorry."

Parehas ko silang yinakap. I feel bad. So bad. Ako ang panganay, ako ang kuya nila, ako dapat ang pumoprotekta sa kanila, ako dapat ang tumutulong kay tatay ngayon. But I can't even fucking cry right now, I can't even shout my pain out. Lahat nasa loob, lahat nakakulong. Ni hindi ko magamit ang mga salita ko, hindi ko alam kung anong dapat kong sabihin para gumaan ang loob nila.

I was suppose to protect my sister, I was suppose to be there for her. Pero hindi ko nagawa.

All along, all I could was to listen. Dahil kahit ang galawin ang mga daliri ko ay hindi ko magawa-gawa. We were all useless. And Lily was suppose to be innocent, and unharmed. She doesn't need to kill for survival, she doesn't need to cry, she doesn't need to sacrifice. Hindi dapat siya mamamatay.

But now we're all grieving.

At hindi ko pa rin matanggap. Na sa tabi ko ay naroon si Lily, nakahiga at kanina pa hindi gumagalaw.

"Napakatapang ng kapatid ninyo," Lahat kami ay napalingon kay Calista nang sambiting niya iyon. She's smiling sadly. "Akala ko noon, nang bumisita si guolno Luazen ay sa kuwento ko na lamang kayo makikilala. Sabi ko pa nga, napakarami ninyo para matandaan. Anim. May anim kaming pinsan sa mundo ng mga tao. I never thought Lillian would be one of them."

Walang umimik.

That's why she continued. "I felt like it will still be hard to distinguish you all. Kahit apat na lang kayo. Pero ang tumatak sa akin ay si Lillian. Hindi dahil siya lang ang nag-iisang babae sa inyo, kundi sa tapang at pagiging pranka niya. She's so straightforward and aloof that it's even hard for me to pretend like one as well. She's great and I really hoped I would get to know her more."

"Pero may mga sariling paraan ang Adora. Hindi ko nagawa iyon. Hindi namin nagawa iyon ni Amila. At masakit na kung kailan nakagalaw at nagising na tayo ay doon siya mawawala."

Her words hit home. Napakalapit lang namin. We focused too much on Olirde that I even forgot my own sister is still fighting.

This is fucked-up.

"Marami na tayong iniisip na mga 'sana'. Kung sana naabutan natin sila. Kung sana hindi tayo nawalan ng kontrol sa mga katawan at mahika natin. Kung sana nakagalaw agad si dalhe Piero para matulungan si Lillian. Kung sana, kung sana lang na hindi tayo kinailangan ng Adora. Maraming 'sana' ngunit wala na tayong maibabalik pa."

If only time machine is fucking real. I would give anything to go back in time, to save her.

"If I know one thing, I know it would be that wherever Lillian is now, she's happy. Ipinagdasal namin na sana ay kasama na siya ngayon ng mga bathaluman natin. She's in her haven now."