Unfinished Tale (✔️)

Kabanata 27

Cleotha

I didn't know why my heart is ponderous upon writing another three chapters of the novel. Huminga ako nang malalim habang nakatulala sa huling pahina ng chapter 13 ng nobela. Kumikirot na naman ang puso ko sa hindi malamang dahilan. I always feel this whenever I start and end every chapter.

Instead of feeling gleeful, I would find myself grieving over something I couldn't pinpoint. Kahit nga sa masasayang eksena ay bumibigat pa rin ang dibdib ko. It's comparable to grieving over a dead body of someone that is so dear to me.

Nag-angat ako ng tingin at sariling mukha ang natunghayan. My whole face was illuminated by the candlelight. Sa tuwing nagsusulat ako ng mga kabanata sa nobelang ito ay palagi kong pinipili ang kandila bilang liwanag. I turn off the lights and would lit a candle. I don't know the reason why. Mas lalo kasing napapabilis ang pagsulat ko kapag kandila ang ginagamit.

I probe every feature that made my face whole. Isabella's feature matches mine. My chocolate like hair color, amber eyes, heart shaped face. The angelic feature. Everything. Kung may makakabasa man sa description ko tungkol sa kaniya, ang mukha ko ang makikita nila. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Parang hindi ko talaga kontrolado ang aking mga kamay kapag sinusulat na ang nobela.

I closed my notebook and blew the candle. Kinuha ko ang phone at humiga na sa kama. Muli akong napatulala sa kisame. Dumadating ang mga ganitong gabi na tila pasan-pasan ko ang mundo. I know how heavy it is to live in this kind of toxic household, but... the sadness in my heart is distinct. Mas mabigat. It can't be described well. Even thousands of words aren't enough to describe this heaviness in my heart that I always lift every single day.

Hindi ko namalayang dahan-dahan nang naglandas ang luha sa aking mga mata. Hinayaan ko muna ang katahimikan na yakapin ako habang hinahayaan ko ring maglandas ang mga luha na hindi ko alam kung ano ba ang dahilan.

When I was already soothed, I closed my eyes as I looked back to the awarding day of DFOT, last Friday and it was one week ago. Akala ko sa araw na iyon ay mahihimatay ulit ako dahil sa pamilyar na pakiramdam. I was thankful that I didn't because that would be embarrassing. Ang tumatak sa utak ko ay ang ala-alang pumasok sa isipan sa araw na iyon na hanggang ngayon ay palaisipan pa rin sa akin.

The voice of that man... seems like the voice of... Levi. But more matured. I don't know. Maybe my mind was just playing it's trick on me again since he was beside me that time and he... wrapped his arms around my shoulder just like how that man in my mind did it. I don't know anymore.

I opened my phone and planned to indulge myself on it. Nakita kong alas onse na pala ng gabi. Nagpunta ako sa Instagram pero may nagtutulak sa 'king magpunta sa messenger. My lips gaped upon seeing that I have unread messages from Miss Avila and... Levi. That was a week ago already. God, I didn't see that. I was so busy the following days that I didn't have the time to visit my social media accounts.

Binuksan ko ang message ni Miss Avila at nakitang pictures namin sa DFOT ang s-in-end niya. Nag-scroll pa ako pataas at nakitang may long message pala siya sa 'kin na nagpangiti sa 'kin. I suddenly felt guilty that it took me a week to open her heartfelt message. Hindi ako nagsayang ng oras at nagreply upang magpasalamat. I also apologized for the late reply.

Natigilan ako nang isa-isa ko nang tiningnan ang pictures na s-in-end ni Miss Avila. Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko nang makita ang picture namin ni Levi nang magkasama noong bago pa man ako nasilaw sa flash ng canon camera ni Miss Avila. Nakaakbay sa 'kin si Levi habang nakahawak sa medal niya. I... find it cute upon seeing us both wearing medals.

My eyes stayed on Levi. A huge smile was carved on his lips. I noticed every detail of him. His clean white t-shirt, some strands of his hair touching his thick eyebrows, his pointed nose, his Adam's apple, and his height. Ngayon lang naging malinaw sa 'kin ang height difference namin. I was small when he's beside me. Hanggang leeg lamang ako.