paradise comes with a Price

Chapter three

Be kind, but first be kind to yourself
_salamatullah

 

Chapter three

It was cloudy and it might rain any moment, kulthum was by her window as usual admiring the view, their house premises was greenish due to the grass carpets and flowers and there was a little green garden that she and Haleem created, not only her but also her mom loves flowers whereas their father is somehow the opposite. She’s been by the window for half an hour when her phone rang, it rang and rang then cutted, rang and rang then cutted, till she got tired of the tune and jump down her bed to grab it.

It was hammad, and her heart skipped a beat to his call. He never calls thrice or more than that, he knows she hates phone calls and he would only call once or twice but today was different, it was somehow scary or I should say suspicious.

Innalillahi 27 missed calls, oh lord something’s wrong” her heart kept beating so rapidly. She called and no answer, call again yet no answer, she then decided to call his NDA friend attahir and the moment the call enters he picked “hello”  she said calmly “hey kulthum how are you? it’s been long” he asked through the phone “well yeah it’s been long, how’s works” she answered even though she’s in a haste to asked for Hammad’s whereabouts but what to do since she doesn’t want him to sniffed anything fishy. Before she asked attahir for hammad, hammad's call came through and she lied to attahir saying that she just call to say hi since it’s been long.

Actually it been two good weeks since kulthum set her eyes on hammad, sithen when they went for a ham burger outing and they haven’t talked since that day.

She cutted the call with attahir and slide the green call line for hammad. “Hey” he called with his voice as though he cried his vocal cord out “hammad what’s wrong? Are you crying? Did someone died?” she randomly asked, so curious to know what’s going on

“kulthum I am dead, kulthum I sinned” he then broke down to tears. Kulthum became dumbfounded, she couldn’t even focus on asking him a single question, she started to think maybe he killed someone by accident and instantly she shakes her head sideways pushing away all those negative thoughts

“Where are you now?”  she asked  “I am on my way to your house” he murmured  “wait! You are back?” “but why didn’t you tell me” “kulthum now is not the perfect time for this please” he sounded so low and down “yeah I know… are you the one driving?” she asked and he just nodded as if she’s seeing him   “please drive safe and make sure to shove all that’s you’re dead thoughts until you reached here, okay?” he hmmed her and then dropped the call.

She kept on going back and forth in her room waiting for his call to came through and as expected he called. She took a deep breath and exhale another then answered the call “I am here” he said and hanged up the call  “oh my Allah, I hope it’s not something huge” she whispered and grabbed her grey hijjab

She was already at the corridor when she saw Haleem and amma watching fast x in the parlor. She reversed back to the parlor and sat beside Haleem. “Amma? Hammad came back from lagos yesterday and will be going back tomorrow, so he came to say goodbye”    “oh yes, aii kuwa ya kirani last week Friday, allah sarki dan albarka (he called me last week Friday, allah is the greatest, such a good boy)” amma spieled fixing her gaze on kulthum then back to the television “well, he’s at the gate now let me go to him”   “okay dear” amma granted her permission. She’s almost at the doorstep when amma called and she turned

“Haba kulthum ki dau mai drink mana da ruwa. (Oh kulthum pick a drink and water for him now)” kulthum smile and nodded her head like agama lizard. When she came out from the kitchen haleem asked her to say hi for him too.

She strolled out with the drinks despite knowing that today was not a good day to begin with, she saw his car parked by the tree across her house and gently walked towards it.

And yes, hammad was there in his car shading tears like a baby, his head down on the starry and by the way he was holding a grip to the starry you could tell that something huge happened. She sat on the passenger seat and slammed the car door shut.

Hammad?” she softly called his name “hammad!” she called again turning him towards her

He looked up to her and holds her two hands tightly still tears coming down his face. “kulthum I know what did was wrong but…but I know you will understand me, I know you will never judge me” and this time around he was sobbing, his shoulders are shaking too

“why are you like this hammad? What are you saying, can you please calm down a bit and tell me every single thing that made you like this” she asked confusingly looking at him with some facial expression

Kulthum” he exhale a deep breath and proceeded

I…i…unintentionally slept with my cousin sister” he squeezed his eyes and then opened them again “I was taken away by her charmed figure, i…i.. never thought it will lead to that"

He was talking but as for kulthum she was there like a fool, she was utterly mute and dumb as a post, lacking a single word to say. She couldn’t believe her ears. It’s like she didn’t hear right, right? She mentally whispered. She tilted her head up to face him tracking down her voice to utter a word or maybe a sentence. She doesn’t even know whether to scold him, nag at him or to pacify him and cool him off

She finally happened to find herself speaking to him although her voice was cracked and she was shattered from within.

“why?” they both know what she’s asking but what do you expect him to answer with “why do you choose to disgrace yourself and your family over your dirty nasty thought about your cousin that leaded you to sleeping with her?, why do you not recall to recite Dua  to protect your chastity?, And of all people your cousin? Samira for goodness sake?” she brought her hand to her forehead and deliberately pressed it as if she was having one strong liquor headache

“I know I deserves any kind of punishment but please
, please kulthum don’t abandon me, don’t stop being friends with me, please understand me, understand your Hammad one last time…please!” he kept on sobbing, and sobbing until she hugged him easily giving way under pressure. She maintain the condition of their close embrace and began to think on how to comfort him. Because people that committed huge mistakes in their lives are always left alone in the dark, although some are intentional and not every mistake deserves forgiveness but still all blunders merit a second chance mayhaps a bright metal to hit its past and bury the darkness down a hole.

She coped his face and brought it to her deem, with a glowing smile on her face “I know you did wrong but there are some errors that entitled a second chance, not all blunders are to be called mistakes some are called lessons. So forget about all that happened and move on. Let bygones be bygones.”

“but how do I forget everything…she’s my cousin kulthum, she’s my freaking cousin sister!” he half screamed then broke down again. She’s literally certain that if he kept on feeling guilty of what he did he would do harm to himself and that’s is the last thing she would ever want in her entire stay on earth.

“I know Muhammad, I know. But you can go for a second chance, you can change for the better, we all commit errors in our life but that never stops us from living. So don’t refuse to forgive yourself for what Allah has already forgiven you” he knows when she calls him with his real name she’s definitely serious and that contributed on bringing him back to his senses

 “tell no one about today, not even your close ones, we talked about it here and bury it here, nothing happen. Alright?” she told him in a serious tune “now take a sip” she handed him water and as he collected it, she started to wipe out his tears, her hand on his messy hair.

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