𝘐𝘯𝘷𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘚𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 // 𝘋𝘢𝘳𝘺𝘭 𝘋𝘪𝘹𝘰𝘯

ɢᴏɴᴇ ʙᴜᴛ ɴᴏᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ʟᴏɴɢ

Glenn was right. It's easier to admit when you're not okay than it is to pretend you're fine. And I've been miserable since we got back. I slept miserably too, only getting 2 hours then waking up sweaty and shaking.

I spent the rest of the morning staring at my hands. I studied every line, every vein. I flipped them over and over, realizing Daryl was somewhere, possibly staring at his hands. Then I cried for a while, thinking about being in his embrace, his hands on my back, soothing me. I just wanted to see him.

After my little cry sesh I headed outside and of course, it was raining. I love the rain. I think I love Daryl. I sat on the ground of the courtyard, allowing myself to become fully drenched. Then I thought back to the time we were outside, checking out that path. How I had stopped to let the rain hit my face, the way Daryl chuckled at me.

Then I was called back into the prison, Rick telling me we needed to have a meeting. Great, I have to sit and listen while everyone yells at each other. And that's exactly where I am now, sitting on the concrete steps by the door with my head resting on my hands. 

I drown their words out with my own, repeating my last words to Daryl. I basically told Daryl I didn't accept him leaving but I couldn't be angry at him either. But right now, sitting on the hard pavement when all I want to do is be with him, I'm fucking furious.

 When Glenn and I moved into an apartment together after high school, Glenn got a job as a pizza delivery dude, he worked there for almost five years even. It made good tips and I was honestly jealous. While he got to drive around, flirt with girls and got free pizza, I was stuck working a cashier job at a grocery store by day and a secret job by night.

Glenn hounded me at first, demanding me to meet the guy I was spending so much time with. But when I came home one night with the biggest black eye on earth and a busted lip, he was eager for a whole other reason. I thought it was funny honestly, since I had never really had a boyfriend. 

When I finally convinced Glenn I was fine, Glenn completely went on with life like it never even happened. That's the way it is with everyone. They either get bored of me or simply have something better to do. It was never like that with Daryl.

We could have been yelling at each other the night before, swearing and calling each other names, but if I ever needed someone to sit with, Daryl never complained. I was so blind.

"Scarlet?" Rick's voice booms against the concrete walls and I look up suddenly. My ears burn in embarrassment when I find everyone already looking at me, expecting something out of me.

I raise my eyebrows and Glenn sighs. He stands beside Maggie though she seems to be keeping some distance.

"We were talking about what to do next." Rick explains, a sympathetic smile falling on his face. I nod slowly, swallowing thickly and standing. Resting my side against the wall, I run a hand through my curly hair.

"I think the Governor got a glimpse of what we can do" taking a sigh, I remove my hand from my hair and place it on my hip. "And I think he's pissed."

Glenn shakes his head, what I said obviously made him angry. "So we should just sit inside and wait all day?" It's hard for me not to picture him as a teenager at this moment. I can still remember how high pitched his voice was. 

"We can't do much until Daryl comes back." It's Carol who says it. She's in the back of the group, her back against the wall and a sure of herself look on her face. I wish I could have as much hope as her.

 "Daryl's not coming back" Glenn hisses, turning to Carol then back to me with an angry look on his face. But I know Glenn and I know this isn't him angry, he's afraid, worried even. Something happened to them when they were in Woodbury, now it's eating him alive.