𝘐𝘯𝘷𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘚𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 // 𝘋𝘢𝘳𝘺𝘭 𝘋𝘪𝘹𝘰𝘯

ɪɴ ꜱɪᴄᴋɴᴇꜱꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴ ʜᴇᴀʟᴛʜ

The birds are chirping. The sun is high and the water is cool against our burning skin. Outside it's hot but within the walls of the prison, everything is cold.

I once said Glenn was the only friend I'd ever need, I was wrong.

"Maggie?" Banging on the door for the second time, I hear rustling before it opens slowly. The old wood makes a loud creak, Maggie's pale face poking through the crack.

We've been like this for a couple hours now, only communicating through two minute intervals, only opening the door and not entering. Hershel said it would be safer for me here, that I'd be able to help the children stay safe as well. I think Hershel can suck my co-

"Scarlet?" Her rich accent makes me smile, pushing myself up from beside the door.

I watch her as she looks me over, making sure I'm okay. I haven't told anyone besides Hershel and Carol but I know Maggie isn't a fool.

"How is everyone?" I whisper. These kids don't need to hear how bad it truly is, not when they've gone through so much already.

"As good as it's gonna get." She sighs, bringing her hand up to her face. I watch as it shakes, rubbing her forehead back and forth. "Daddy says he's only lost two of them"

I nod shortly, placing a hand on the door frame. Maggie continues to talk to me about the situation, who's sick and who isn't, who've we've lost and who we will have to save. But I can't seem to focus as my vision blurs and my knees shake.

I can feel the sweat breaking out on my forehead long before it runs down. When Maggie catches on she raises an eyebrow, also placing her hand on the doorframe.

"You okay?"

Giving her a thumbs up, Maggie looks at me strangely before nodding, her shoulders visibly tensing. "Daryl is doing alright."

My heart stops beating the second I hear his name. Suddenly it's like how it was when we first got here, scared to admit what we're feeling but more scared of knowing if we don't do it now we'll never get the chance.

I know I need to get over this feeling. That there's more important things to worry about now. But my heart is definitely thinking differently than my head.

"Are you alright?" I look up at her, our eyes locking. I know what her question means so I just nod, picking at the hem of my shirt.

The yellow fabric is stained harshly, dark brown spots around the bottom. It's a tank top Beth's boyfriend found before he died. Now I'm wearing it. Life's weird.

"Better go check up on the kids." I grunt, swaying for a second. I can still feel Maggie's eyes on me as I retreat from the door and into the little room I know Carl is in. I was only talking to him moments before I got too dizzy and decided it would be a smart idea to sit.

"Carl?" He jumps at his name, whipping his head in my direction. His hat shifts and I smile, earning a smile from him as well.

Judith sits sleeping in his arms, her little frame stays still even as Carl stands, walking to me slowly. I can't help but gulp at the thought of another Judith.

"Has my dad come back yet?" I shake my head and he frowns, nodding slowly. Poor Carl has been so stressed, dealing with the death of his friend and now the whole prison is on lockdown. He can't catch a break .

Sure enough Judith bursts into tears, flailing around in his arms. She might be little but she sure as hell has some lungs on her. 

Her blonde hair sways as she rocks her head side to side. Gripping onto Carl who is standing helpless, his eyes wide. He looks around the room before making eye contact with me, a pleading look on his face. I nod shortly, stretching my arms out.

 Surprisingly, they shake as I wrap my arms around the crying baby. I can feel the tears forming the second she presses her head into the crook of my neck, her crying almost stopping completely.

I don't know if it's because she's cute or because of the situation, but sure enough my cheeks grow wet, the tears loosely rolling down my chin. Carl takes this as a sign to leave. Man am I thankful this kid knows how to read a room.

 Lifting her head slowly, the door closes behind me but I don't care to look. I'm too busy looking into her blue eyes. We stay like this for what feels like hours. Just looking at each other, her little frame in my arms. She cries a few times but once I start rocking her she stops.

Her big eyes remind me of Lori's. A lopsided smile forms on my face. I'm no longer crying but I still feel vulnerable, like I'm showing a side of myself I shouldn't be.

 Taking slow steps towards the wooden door, I swing in open, stepping into the quiet hallway. I raise an eyebrow, calling out Carl's name twice. But he isn't answering, the hallway stays silent. You could hear a pin drop and I bet you can hear my heart beating fastly, jamming against my chest. I feel my lungs close, squeezing against my heart. My breathing comes out in fast wheezes, my head spinning fast.

Judith cries in my arms, like she can feel how stressed I am. This makes my vision grow even more blurry till everything is fuzzy. I call out Carl's name again but it's only a squeak, large puffs of air escaping my wobbly lips.

The second I feel my knees give out I wrap my hand over Judith's head tightly, praying I won't hurt her.

 The all too familiar sound of yelling rings in my ears. It sounds like I'm underwater though, the voices are muffled and a baby's cry is distant, like it's coming from fields away. I can usually sit up quickly after something like this, like my body wants to get over it. But this time I stay laying, my eyes closed. It feels like I need a hundred hours of sleep, like I got hit by a bus.

Someone's boots clink against the floor, heading straight towards me. The crying stops the second the stomping does and I let out an exhausted sigh. Maybe I'm dead, maybe this is all a dream and when I wake up I'll be in Daryl's arms.

Instead someone shakes me, yelling something about walkers. Putting my finger up, I shush the voice, shaking my head slowly.

"I'm trying to sleep, mister." I slur, blinking my eyes open. Rick's sweaty face and wide eyes are in front of me, our noses practically touching. My own eyes go wide, taking Rick's shaky hand.

My head lifts off the hard ground quickly, the room shaking all around me.  I trip over my feet as Rick lifts me, my boots meeting the cement. "W-what's happening?" I gulp.

Rick answers me by handing over a gun, rushing over to the door. I stand still for a second before jogging behind him. As we run outside Rick constantly looks behind me, nodding at me. I don't know what's going on but I know it's bad if Rick wakes me up after passing out to hand me a gun.

 The second he opens the heavy door, the cool night air hits me, making me shiver. Man, I wish I wore more than a little tank top. The groaning of walkers makes me raise my gun, still sprinting behind Rick as fast as my short legs will carry me.

By the time we're next to Carl he's already standing with his gun raised, no sign of fear on his young face.  Rick taps my shoulder twice, pointing to our gun bin and I nod. Rushing over, I grab three automatics, handing them over with shaky hands. Adrenaline is rushing through me faster than a bullet.

Rick tells Carl what to do quickly, moving to the oncoming herd. They push their way through the fence, the metal not being able to handle all the weight. Gulping, I let out a breath before shooting, getting right in between the eyes of a female walker. Her limp body falls with a thump before more shots sound out into the night.

 Even though it's dark we work efficiently, the herd becoming smaller and smaller with each shot. The dizziness is fully gone by the time we are done. If anything I feel awake, like I could run a marathon.

The herd lay sprawled out around us, their bodies like a lake.

 "Good job Scar." Rick breathes heavily, placing a rough hand on my shoulder. Carl smiles at both of us, an accomplished look on his face.

"Yeah, good job." He grins.