𝘐𝘯𝘷𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘚𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 // 𝘋𝘢𝘳𝘺𝘭 𝘋𝘪𝘹𝘰𝘯

ɪɴᴠᴀꜱɪᴏɴ

Our brains are dangerous devices. No matter how much we try to forget the past, our brains refuse to let us. It's as if there's a string, always attached to those unwanted memories, pulling them close. And you can't force yourself to be set free from those haunting times because even if you forget it for a moment, your brain doesn't. It'll catch up to you. 

It might come from a familiar sound that reminds you of something, like a glass bottle being thrown. Or simply just a smell, something you wish you didn't encounter. Either way, you can't run from what has happened. 

For a while I thought I could. I lived forcing the memories of dark times and a broken childhood to the back of my brain, thinking I'd never see them again. I'd spend nights screaming from terrifying nightmares and my days shaky and on edge. It wasn't until I learned that our brains can't forget as easily as we do, that I also learnt, 

Sometimes you need to remember in order to really forget. 

---

I have pieces of myself that have been created by the people around me. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't be where I am, or who I am. Standing in front of Abraham, I watch as his face stares at us with worry in his eyes. Even Abraham, someone who was taught to be strong and follow orders, forgot what it was like out there. He chose to forget. 

My voice comes out squeaky, "Abraham?" I ask, placing a hand on his shoulder. He looks down at me, his chest still rising and falling rapidly. Rick and Daryl stand beside me, equally confused and scared. He tries to form words but nothing comes out, just large breaths. 

"There's-" Abraham's voice goes quiet as the sound of a gun firing into the air jolts us all. Rick pushes past us, walking to the window and peeking through the blinds. "How many?" He asks in a cold tone. People like Rick can't forget that's their issue. People like me and Daryl as well. 

Abraham shakes his head, also going to the window. They whisper back and forth and I stare at my feet, clenching and unclenching my hand nervously. "Scarlet?" The red head suddenly asks and I look up, humming a yes. 

"You're coming with me, gonna go try to stop em." He informs, handing me a gun. I nod and look back at Carl, sending him a quick smile. "You guys staying here?" I motion between Rick and Daryl they both nod. Rick needs to protect his family. Daryl needs to help Rick do this. 

I turn around so I'm facing Daryl. He has a worried look on his face, like he wishes to be out there with me. But Rick knows better then anyone that Daryl is too concerned with me, if he was out there and something were to happen, he couldn't handle it. "ya gonna be ok?" Daryl puts his hand on my arm and I nod, also smiling at him. I give him a short but strong kiss and he places his head against mine, sighing. "Ya better come back to me Scar." 

I giggle but my eyes are watery and my breathing is messed. "Of course." I sigh, lifting my head. Carl runs and gives me a hug, pulling away and just staring at me for a moment. It's as if he's trying to memorize my face. "I'll be  back soon, you can tell me all about your little crush if you'd like." Carl nods but there's no smile or blush on his face even at the mention of a girl. He's stone cold, staring at me. "Be careful, I need you." He whispers. I nod, patting his shoulder. 

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't about to shit my pants. How I wish I was  back in that living room, sitting on that couch. Instead of out here, in the rain, with my hands shakily holding the black gun in front of me. The wide silencer on it rattles as I shake, trying to warm up from the cold night air and possibly because of my nerves as well.