𝘐𝘯𝘷𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘚𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 // 𝘋𝘢𝘳𝘺𝘭 𝘋𝘪𝘹𝘰𝘯

ᴡʜʏ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ʏᴏᴜ?

"Carl?"  I ask, turning the corner. His bright blue tent is set up beside a wooden table and I smile when I catch his brunet head peak up. We've been playing hide and go seek for twenty minutes now. If you told me a couple months ago that I'd spend my night playing hide and seek with a little boy I'd be a little confused, and a little creeped out at myself. 

But with the world being the way it has been for the past 2 months, hide and go seek is as good as going to a bar. Pulling on the zipper of his tent, I flash my head in the opening and he screeches, falling onto his back. I shake my head and laugh, offering my hand to pull him up. He takes it with a smile and we both end up sitting in the tent, staring at the fire. 

"You aren't going to the fire with the rest of the adults?" He asks, his voice is high pitched. I shake my head, picking at the ends of my jeans. "No, I'd rather hang out with you." He smirks as I bump our shoulders together. 

"You aren't really like them anyway." He whispers. 

"Hey what does that mean?" My voice makes me sound like I'm hurt but I continue to smile. 

"I just mean that you don't really do adult stuff." He makes air quotations when he says "adult". "Like you don't know how to use a gun like me and Sophia and you don't like doing laundry with the mom's." I nod along with him. 

"Like I said, I'd rather hang out with you Carl." He smiles but I stay serious, placing my hand on his shoulder. "I mean it kid, I'm always gonna be by your side alright?" 

 Carl stands in the corner of the dark room, staring below at me. Rubbing my eyes, I groan as I sit up. I'm in a sleeping bag. "What happened?" I croak, my voice almost fully gone. Carl doesn't answer, he doesn't even move. He just stands there, looking at me. "Carl?" 

Taking a step closer, the expression on his face makes me frown. Tears already prick my eyes. "I never wanted to disappoint you Carl." 

"Well you did." He spits, crossing his arms. 

"I was just doing what I thought was right." My tone raises. Carl has never been mad at me before. 

"Killing a man?" Carl's yelling now. "Scarlet, how in any way is that the "right thing"?" He stares at me with wide eyes. 

"I just-" My breath hitches and I rub my hand over my eyes again. "He's dead?" Carl takes a second but nods silently. A sob escapes my lips and my shoulders ache. "I didn't mean to, I didn't know what I was doing." 

"You never do!" He yells, reminding me of a young Daryl. The thought of Carl becoming as cold as Daryl makes me shiver. 

"I'm sorry Carl, I didn't think you were going to see that." 

He remains silent, staring at his boots. "When we first met I looked up to you Scarlet." Ouch. "You were the one I confided in when I was a kid because you were the only adult who actually listened." He takes a deep breath. "You didn't care about violence or what to do next, you didn't even know how to shoot a gun." He looks back up at me. "Talking to you made me feel like I was still just a kid." 

A tear falls down my face. "I know that he was a bad man Scarlet, I think what you did could have happened differently but I know why you did it." I nod, another tear falling. 

"I've-" I start but my voice cracks. "I've just been so angry with myself." Carl nods. 

"Me too" He whispers.