TRYING, daryl dixon ✔️

013, i couldnt do it.

she went to check on hershel she saw him bleeding out so she grabbed her backpack and knife and went to find the infirmary. she ran and looked in every door she killed a walker, and opened a door and there it was tons of bandages, she grabbed a bag and put as much as she could inside and she ran back to help hershel. "hey guys!" she shouted. "where did you get that?" glenn asked her. "i found an infirmary there is still some stuff but i cleared out gauze!" she yelled. "you see this, this happened with the whole group." lori told her. "yeah and i did this on my own so here." she handed the bag over "we appreciate it but-" lori said "then get off my goddamn back!" she yelled at her. " hey! don't talk to her like that she is an adult." beth told her. "yeah but she can't tell me to do anything, my parents are dead." lilia said walking away.

daryl was with rick tdog and she didn't really know who else. they were doing something with the prisoners so she pulled out her folder of notes. she started to read them, and she wondered if any of them survived, she doubted it, to be honest the people in her family didn't know how to fend for themselves. and her grandma darlene, was a bit overweight, that's a nice way of putting it. she found a letter from her brother she had never seen before.

lils, i need to tell you this so whenever you see this, don't tell mom i wrote this, i've never told you what she did to me. she shoots me with a bb gun and i have marks on my legs i don't you to worry because you are so young, stay safe lils. love you.

love, your brother jordan

lilia began to cry, she didn't know her mom did this to jordan. she never knew anything. she really missed her brother she had only thought about him once since he died. she felt bad but she pushed her emotions down and wiped her tears and put her stuff away. she sat there for a while thinking about her family, and how much she missed them. she went to grab her coloring book off the shelf when daryl walked in. "hey!" he walked in with a smile. "why are you so happy?" she asked him. "well i wanted to thank you for helpin my hand, it's crazy how my kid could save me." he smiled bigger. she laughed, and hugged him. "i love you daryl." she said. "uh." he wasn't ready to really say he loved her.

"it's okay if you don't feel comfortable to say it yet. or even if you don't ever feel comfortable that's okay. i  just want you to know i love you, and you are the best person in my life right now. thank you daryl, for everything." she told him a tear running down her face.

"where is this coming from?" he asked her. "i didn't tell my brother i loved him only in the final moments i want you to know how much i love you because in this world i could lose you any second." she replied forcing a smile even though she could roll in a ball and sob for hours just by saying that.

"i'm sorry hon', i've never said i loved anyone. i- i love you lily i really do." he told her. she hugged him super tight and he picked her up and hugged her back.

"wanna go outside?" he asked. "everyone is out there because hershel is feeling better, and so is carl"

she smiled and they went outside. lori walked over to daryl. lilia rolled her eyes to the back of her head. daryl put her down but she still stayed close. lori told him exactly what lilia said, the entire conversation. what the hell lori? daryl looked at her and playfully rolled his eyes and picked her back up. "what a bitch?" he whispered in her ear. "i know right!" she said back.

ring ring ring ring ring

lilia covered her ears. "hon! go with maggie okay?" he told her. "yeah! i love you!" she said running away to maggie. "love, stay beside me!" she said to lilia. "okay!!" she yelled back.

lori, carl, maggie and lilia ran into cell block whatever it was. lori yelled in pain about half way down the hallway, lilia didn't have her backpack so whatever happened she wouldn't be able to help. "what happened?" maggie asked her. "the baby is coming!" lori yelled. lilias eyes widened. they all went into a room and maggie told her to push but it was only blood, carl held lilias hand scared. "it's okay carl." lilia assured him. lori was laying on the ground, "cut me open." lori told maggie. "but we don't have anything." maggie said confused. "carl has a knife" lori said. carl gripped lilias hand and started to cry, lilias eyes widened even wider, and carl handed maggie's hid knife. "lily, i'm sorry i was a bitch." lori told her. "it's okay. it's okay. it's okay." lilia said a tear falling down her face, she zoned out but still heard what was happening and then carl put his head on her shoulder and she came back. "goodnight love." lori told carl. maggie cut her open and carl yelled. "your killing her!" lilia hugged him not wanting him to see. they were both crying to each-other but lilia pushed down her emotions to help carl. maggie had the baby in her hands and carl gave the new baby his jacket.

"she's my mom, i need to do it." carl told maggie

carl pulled out his gun and put it to loris head. he held lilias hand he pulled the trigger. he turned around and hugged lilia but they soon walked up to maggie and went outside, carl was kind of emotionless, but he was holding lilias hand all the way outside when they saw rick he fell on the ground crying. "where is she?" rick asked. "where- where." maggie ran over to glenn, lilia wasn't letting go of carls hand he need it no matter how much she wanted to run into daryl's arms she wasn't going to. she couldn't. carl hugged her as hard as he could he cried into her shoulder. "i'm here for you." she told him. carl let go of her, she walked over to daryl and he picked her up "its okay." he told her. "i know." she replied "i know." she began to cry but she jumped down and walked inside to her room and sat in a corner crying harder.

shit she didn't even care about lori and she was crying, she was traumatized even more then she already was.

daryl had went off to get formula, lilia was okay with that. she didn't want to bother carl, he needed to come to her for help. rick had gone on a rampage, lilia understood why. she found out they lost tdog and carol which made her even more sad. she began to color, that always calmed her down coloring no matter what it was, it always worked. but this time it didn't there were tear drops on the page and all. the threw her coloring book on the wall and then grabbed her folder and ripped up a birthday letter from her 4th birthday. she wanted to scream she didn't want to rip up stuff it just happened, she jumped up to go outside and she screamed louder then ever she didn't want to do this anymore she wiped her tears and acted fine. she walked over to the cooking supplies.

she found a razor blade she grabbed it and sat in the corner and cut her wrist, it hurt but she didn't cry or anything she just cut. she grabbed her gauze and wrapped her wrist. she regretted her decisions. she didn't want to tell daryl, or want him to know at all. she went outside to all the walkers and used her knife and razor blade to kill 32 walkers she had killed around 64 now. she felt like a bad person.

"you okay?" glenn walked over to her in a ball in her cell. "glenn." lilia said. "you have not called me that in like a year." glenn said putting his arm around her. "what happened to your hand?" he frowned. "nothing, nothing." teagan said. "i couldn't do it." she mumbled to where he couldn't hear her. she wrote a letter.

dear anyone who is seeing this i'm tired of everything but i'm gonna survive for the people i love i tried to do it but i didn't help anything. i couldn't do it i couldn't save lori or tdog or carol or andrea or dale or anyone i'm such a shitty person i don't know what to do right now so if you see this i'm sorry? i guess. bye.
-lilia penelope rind.

she walked into carls cell. "i swear to you i will keep you safe for as long as i survive." she told him. "i couldn't do it with your mother so i will keep you safe forever. your my best friend." carl looked up at her. "i swear that to you too." he said to her.

authors note 🫠
i'm so sorry because this made me sob, i cannot say sorry enough. oh my god i'm just slowly traumatizing you. IM SO SORRY

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615 words

"i'll grab the kitchen scissors and cut myself to slivers for you."

-conan gray