TRYING, daryl dixon ✔️

053, screwing everything up.

lilia was standing by rick and michonne, daryl was on her right.

"your gonna go through something worse then death, sitting in a cell for the rest of your life." michonne said. "thinking about your horrible life." rick added. lily rolled her eyes.

"you got a problem?" michonne asked. "yeah i do, say 5 things he did to you." she said genuinely. "killed our people, beat you up, attacked multiple times, —" she actually couldn't think of anything else.

"we killed his people, beat him up, attacked multiple times, almost killed him, and now look at us. putting him in a cell. you guys are insensitive." she said starting to the outside.

"lilia." rick said before she could actually open the door "what?" she asked turning around.

"why do you care about negan so much?" he asked, "i don't. it's just think about how many fathers and kids you've killed. enough to put you in a cell." she said rick looked at her rethinking his choices.

"i've killed a lot too, everyone in the world should be put in a cell if we are talking like that." she said slamming the door and walking down the street to her house at alexandria. she hid in her room with the door locked. she laid on her bed she hated this. she absolutely hated this. daryl banged on her door, she didn't reply. "open this damn door!" he scolded her. she got up and opened the door, he immediately grabbed her collar, she didn't flinch. he was confused she usually got scared, she was numb.

"what?" she asked. "why are you talking to people like that?" he yelled at her. "what do you mean? stating facts." she said trying to get out of his grip.

"stop it! stop being rude to everyone! stop being a mood killer! stop being my kid!" he screamed.

"do you even miss him?" she asked walking backwards a bit. "because to you, it seems you never cared that he is dead. he was 14."

"so was jonah. remember him?" he asked. lily felt fury gain in her. "of course i remember him! he was my best friend! don't you understand that i'm still a kid." she said feeling like she couldn't do anything. daryl felt bad, growing up he felt like that. he never wanted to be like his dad.

"sorry." he said. "okay." she said laying down. she needed to stop taking out her anger this way. daryl didn't know what he was doing. she wanted to take out her anger on something. she walked outside her room then out the door, daryl didn't notice. she went out the blind part of alexandria, she quietly went out of the wall. she saw a tree near the middle of the forest. she punched the tree 4 times before she noticed what she was doing. her knuckles were bleeding and there was blood on the tree she turned around and slid down the tree as tears ran down her face. she screamed at the top of her lungs. if walkers got her, no one would care. blood ran down her arm and dripped onto the ground. she looked at the ground with the blood.

"vete a la mierda!" she screamed at the ground, (spanish)

"why did i have to be put in this world? why couldn't you make me a normal rich girl. nobody is ever going to like me." she asked god, she didn't know what to do.

she wrapped her hand and walked back to alexandria it took her an hour, she walked really slow.

"where have you been?" daryl asked her. "the woods." she said. "i thought you were dead."

"like anyone would care." she said. "what the hell has gotten into you?"

"what the hell has gotten into me?! everyone i've ever loved is dead or hate me! my whole life was horrible! you saved my life and how you hate me rick hates me michonne hates me! everyone hates me because i'm an asshole and i am a terrible person and if i disappeared one day no one would care at all! so i'm done trying to make people like me. maybe i should join jonah and carl." she said not missing a beat.

"why are you mourning over stuff that is over?" he asked not knowing what to say to that. "you don't think about your brothers or dad or family ever because you only care about survival. that's all that matters. we are all gonna die at some point dad. i'm done." she said. he had no clue what to say, he missed his family, he never wanted to admit it.

"it's okay to have feelings. it doesn't make you weak." she told him walking away. she would usually go sit on the swings with cali after a fight but now she didn't have cali. she just sat alone. no one liked her. she had screwed up everything.

or so she thought.

authors note 😣😣

istfg i literally can't deal with these anymore i'm sobbing so hard.
btw gregory got hung :)

850 words.