TRYING, daryl dixon ✔️

030, damn it dad.

lilia sat on a bench, everyone was drinking wine and having fun daryl walked in and sat beside lily who was on the other side of the church. he furrowed his eyebrows at the solemn child. "you okay, why aren't you with the rest of the people?" daryl asked her.

"what is there to be laughing at? i'm fine. i just feel like they have false hope." lily said not taking her eyes off the book she was reading hershel had got it for her before he died. "honey, its okay to have fun." daryl said. "yeah, i guess, but not whenever there are frikin cannibals chasing us down." lily said looking at daryl.

"what's wrong?" daryl asked knowing she had something built up in her.

"dad i hate living." lilia said. "lily." daryl said, and lily cut him off. "all the people i care about die, this world is bullshit and i want to die with them." lilia said, huffing.

daryl didn't know what to say to that, he felt like he had to survive for them. not die with them. they both walked over to the group. "kiddo you alright?" glenn asked when she sat beside him. "i'm fine." lily said continuing to read. the book was about a man finding his true love, but his sister was murdered? it was confusing.

there it was jakes sisters spot of death. jake cried seeing the samurai sword she was killed with, a very weird weapon, but something.

lilys eyes widened noticing that is what hershel was killed with only 2 weeks ago. she wanted to cry, she didn't, she held it together.

"lily what did you do before the turn?" abraham asked.

"you really wanna know?" lily asked smiling.

"yes everything." rick smiled at her.

"let's give you guys the amount of trauma i have. alright, my parents were assholes. my mom would hit me and my brother and my dad. i went to school sometimes and stayed in the library for many hours after not wanting to go home. my brother wanted to stay with me but he didn't. after my parents went to bed i'd watch horror movies. my parents said if i talked back to them they would 'beat my ass' but they did that anyway. i was in second grade but on like a 5th grade level because of all the time i spent reading and in the library." lily opened up. a few jaws dropped, and a few eyes widened.

"you guys said everything." lily shrugged. no one really knew what to say.

"what about you daryl." rick said changing the topic. "i ain't sayin nothin." daryl said.

"why not?" rick asked. "everyone else has, cmon you gotta." abraham said. daryl looked uncomfortable, he didn't want to open up. "at least tell us why not." rick said. lily noticed daryl's feelings.

"because it's none of your fucking business." lily spat, rolling her eyes. daryl smiled at her. she grabbed her stuff and walked away. daryl and carol left for no reason. bob was missing lily didn't want to talk to anyone.

the rest of the people had left to look for them. they came back with bob like 5 minutes later he was missing a leg and had a bite on his shoulder. it seemed bad but lily didn't care, not really. they left again to do whatever lilia had no idea. she just sat in the corner of the church, everyone else was hiding. for some reason, no one thought to tell lily.

bang.

"i know you guys are in here, and most of your people left with a shitload of your guns. i know that rosita, eugene, abraham, tyreese, tara, lily, bob unless you already put him out of his misery, jonah, carl and judith are here." gareth said. lily shook at her name being said.

"screw you guys." lilia said getting up. "ha! this kid!" gareth said.

lily held onto her loaded gun and walked to the front of the church. "you piss me off kid ya know that?" gareth asked her. "huh, i get that a lot." she smiled.

"your hand healed?" gareth asked. "you stabbed it, the hell you think?" lilia asked with a sigh.

"eh, fair." one person said.

"alright if you guys come out right now, you can all come out alive and you can keep all 4 kids." gareth said.

they were about to break the door everyone was in down. judith began to cry. lilia could hear the rustling of panic. "huh, i think i'll keep this kid." he smiled.

lilia shot his fingers off and he fell on the ground and everyone busted through the door. "put you hands up and kneel." rick said walking from the shadow realm. lily smiled really big at her uncle being badass per usual. everyone put guns to the termites heads. she walked up to gareth. "hey gareth, i still don't understand why your mom would name you that, you definetly got bullied when you were younger. anyways, rick is gonna punish you your lucky i didn't do worse." lily said bending down to he man and flicking his forehead. rick walked to him.

"please if you don't kill us, we will never cross paths again." gareth cried to him.

"look at him he's begging." lily smiled.

"you do this to anyone. right? besides i already made you a promise." rick said pulling out his machete with the red handle and killing him. the other people killed the rest of the termites lilia closed her eyes with a sudden burst of fear. she didn't want to watch, she talked a really big game but she was still a kid, she just had a steel shell. a tear dropped from her eye she looked for daryl, he was no where to be seen. "damn it dad." lily told herself. she slid down the wall before curling into a ball, she really wanted to die. she really wanted to die. she really wanted to die. she really wanted to die. she really wanted to die. all she wanted was to die in that moment.

she walked into the door no one was in and she cried. she cried. she cried so hard. she needed her dad. they were finished killing. and had brought the bodies over. lily just sat in this dark room crying. half way through the night daryl walked through he door, no carol. lilia didn't know this at that moment. "where is lily?" daryl asked rick. "i'm not sure i haven't..." daryl ran to find her he opened the door she was in he saw her crying. "lily thank god!" daryl said relieved not even noticing her sobbing into her knees. daryl stopped for a moment when he saw a paper that said 'damn it dad.' lilia had written that earlier wanting him to see it. his smile dropped from reading that. he wasn't there for her whenever she needed him most. a tear drop from his eyes fell onto the paper. he never cried but this was an exception. daryl wrote everything that lily was never told on the paper, about beth. about carol about how he was sorry for everything. 'i'm sorry i'm such a horrible person.' he ended it with.

authors note 📝

hey this chapter is kinda sad ig but i'm gonna write the letter daryl made under this. i have nothing planned but a sneak peak after the season six storyline starts is when lilia has a backstory chapter and it will go much into detail, i'm balancing a lot of things out right now the school quarter ends soon and i have 0 motivation to write this bc no one reads it, a while ago i just made it for fun but there really isn't fun whenever you have school. :)

lily,

i'm sorry i haven't told you these things so here you go. i was with beth after the prison you know that but someone took her, the same people who took carol today. i'm going to find them. you are the strongest kid ever, stronger then me sometimes. i love you so much honey. and so does everyone else. i'm sorry i wasn't there for you when gareth almost killed you but i was fighting my own battle. i'm sorry i wasn't there to comfort you after the prison. and i'm sorry i couldn't save your friends. i'm sorry that i hurt you on so many occasions. i just want you to know that in the two years i've known you, you have become my daughter, my best friend, my ride or die, and i swear on my life i will keep you safe forever. i love you my beautiful, sweet, smart, perfect, loving daughter. i never expected to have a kid, but i'm so happy i got the perfect one. i love you so much. i cant say i love you enough because it was so hard for me to say a year ago. no matter what i'll always be there for you to make up for lost time. once again, i fucking love you. your so perfect and, i'm sorry i'm such a horrible person.

-your dad.

1557 words :)

"can you fix the broken? can you feel my heart?"

-oli sykes, from bring me the horizon.