Unexpected

Chapter 33

Mallory

Dane leads me back into the bar. He continues to hold my hand, and I'm so confused as to if it's just because the place is packed and doesn't want me to get separated from him, or if it means more than that now after we kissed. I'm still in shock that it even happened. Did I imagine it? I touch my lips, and I can still taste him, the faint hint of the beer he drank. No, it was definitely real I smiled to myself. It suddenly hits me that I need to at least say bye to Jonathan. I stop, and the tug on his hand has Dane looking back at me.

"I need to let Jonathan know . . ." I'm not even sure what I'm to tell him, but I have to tell him something, at least.

Dane seems irritated but doesn't argue with me.

"Alright, but make it quick, or I'll assume you've changed your mind."

I feel myself blushing at him openly, saying that I chose him. I nod and hurry off towards the bar with my heart pounding in my chest. What have I gotten myself into? Jonathan rises from his stool when he sees me approaching.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, totally, but I really should head back over to them. I don't want to be rude since they did invite me to hang out."

Jonathan appears like he wants to say more but decides against it. Instead, he asks, "Can I still give you a call later?"

"Of course! I'll look forward to it." I give a quick wave of farewell to his friends and disappear into the crowd. I'm wondering now if I should have said that or not since I was just kissing Dane, but I'm not even sure what that means for us. I like Jonathan, and we are still in the casual dating phase, not committed to each other, but I do still feel a little quilt over it. I don't want to be THAT girl. So I tell myself that once I have had the time to really think it all through, I will make it all right again.

When I reach our table, I only see Liv and Mark there. Liv immediately asks, "What in the world happened?"

"Wh . . . what do you mean?" I hedge, not sure if she is talking about Jonathan or what happened with Dane, but surely she can't possibly already know what just happened, right? "Where is Dane?" I wonder out loud.

"He's walking Natasha out to her car as we speak. He said that he needed to talk to her in private. Did you say something to him?"

I want to say,'Yes, I told him that I wanted him, and then he kissed me senseless,' but instead I said, "Nothing in regards to her. Well, I might have mentioned feeling like the odd one out at the couples table. Maybe that did it?"

"Well, whatever you said worked because as soon as he came back, he told her tonight wasn't going to work out and that he'd see her to her car safely."

Mark just keeps smiling with knowing eyes, and I find myself praying that he doesn't know what actually happened between Dane and I. Thankfully, Dane returns before I have to comment any further. 

"Are we going to play some pool, or what?" He teases.

"I'm game," Mark announces, setting his beer down. "You ladies going to join us this time?"

"Sure," I answer quickly, not wanting Liv to have any time to ask me more questions.

We play pool for another hour, laughing and talking smack to each other. Dane and I lost to Mark and Liv, which is totally because of me and my poor pool skills. We decided to call it a night, and we all walked out to the parking lot. Liv has her arm wrapped around mine.

"I'm so glad you're Dane's new neighbor," she states, squeezing my arm. "We'll have to do this again soon."

"Yeah, I'd love to. I had so much fun."

"And who knows? Maybe you and Dane will become more than just neighbors one day."

I literally stumble at her words, and the look of panic on my face makes her laugh.

"I'm teasing! Well, kinda. A girl can dream, right?"

"You ready, Mallory?" Dane is holding out a helmet to me.

I look at Liv and joke, "Let's just hope I make it home."

After final farewells, I find myself once again on the back of his motorcycle.

"Please don't drive so fast this time," I beg.

"I'll tell you what. I'm going to take the long way home, and this time, I want you to keep your eyes open and take a good look around. Really see what you missed the first time."

He's true to his word. He cruises down the back roads, and I do take it all in. The warm night air billowing across my skin, the smell of honeysuckle, and the beautiful night sky with its twinkling stars. I relax against him, resting my cheek on the back of his shoulder and continuing to watch the world go by. When we pull into his driveway, I'm actually sad that it is over. He assists me off the bike, and I hand him the helmet.

"Was that better?" he questions.

Without thought, I hug him tightly and rest my head on his chest.

"It was incredible, thank you."

I think I stunned him momentarily because it takes him a few seconds before I feel his arms encircle me as well.

"I'm glad you liked it."

"Why did you kiss me?" The question slips out before I can stop myself. I'm scared to know the answer, but not knowing, I think, would be even worse. I don't want to wonder about his intentions towards me, especially after my experience with Josh.

"I don't really know why, but I've wanted to for a while now. You drive me insane sometimes. I can't give you what you want, but I can't seem to not want you either."

His honesty has me leaning back to face him.

"And I can't put myself in a position to be hurt again," I say sadly, taking a step away and out of his arms. "I know I chose to be with you tonight, but I need someone who would choose me for more than one night. I'm looking for more than that. I'm not cut out for casual relationships. I'm sorry, but I should go." I turn and hurry away before I do something foolish, like change my mind. 

                                                             ****************************

A week goes by in awkwardness between my neighbor and I. We have not spoken, not even a text. I've forced myself not to look out the window when his bike engine is heard coming or going. He leaves before I have to in the mornings and usually comes home after I am done with dinner, so it has been fairly easy to avoid him. And to avoid him, I must. I'm painfully aware of my weaknesses, and he is them all bottled up in one very nice package. He's insanely attractive, a little pushy, and rude, but I somehow know he is sweet when you look past the hard exterior he presents to the world. Lastly, the man knows how to kiss. I couldn't even think, hardly breathe, when he kissed me outside that bar. It just felt so right. Maybe even better than with Josh. Josh was good, but I always felt the push that he was trying to get to the next level, not just enjoying the kiss itself, a dissatisfaction until he could get more from me. And now I know why that was how it felt. He WAS in a hurry to win that bet.

Dane's kiss seemed spontaneous and inevitable all at once. Like the pull of two magnets, we were destined to connect beyond our control. I honestly don't think in that moment he was plotting or planning anything. He just WANTED, and I wanted HIM. But after I had time to cool off and think it through, I couldn't help but go back to him stating he didn't do relationships. I've seen him with two different women unashamedly. As incredible as that kiss was, it held no more promise than the ones I shared with Josh. So, I'm glad I asked him why he kissed me because I now know what it meant to him. Even if it confirmed my fear, it gave me the foresight to escape heartache. I also know if he would have kissed me again like he did earlier, I don't think I would have had the willpower to make the right decision. Sink or swim. I chose to swim, or more accurately, doggy paddle to safety because I'm struggling to stay afloat. I think of him constantly. I have almost texted him a hundred times, but I'm scared. Scared that we can't be just friends because,  like I said before,  he has all my weaknesses . . . .