Unexpected

Chapter 46

Mallory

It's Sunday evening, and I'm making the drive back home. I attended a church service with my parents, and then we had lunch. They have recently started going to church. When I asked Mom why, she said it brought her peace and comfort in a world that has gone crazy. It did intrigue me, making me wonder if maybe I was doing it all wrong. After two disastrous relationships, maybe building a relationship with Jesus should be my focus. Let God lead me to the love I so desperately want, but I can't seem to find on my own.

Knowing I had to be at work tomorrow, I left after lunch and made the dreaded three hour drive. I pulled into my driveway and saw that Dane was out mowing his yard. Great. I had hoped to easily avoid seeing him for at least a few days, but of course, I have no such luck. As I'm getting my things out of the car, the lawn mower engine cuts off. I don't turn to look at him, at least, not until he softly says my name right behind me. My expression must have said it all because he holds his hands up and quickly sputters,

"Liv told me not to contact you . . . and I promise I won't . . . after this."

I just stare at him. I don't turn to leave as I know I should. Instead, I give him this moment, curious as to what he thinks he could possibly say to change any of this.

"I know you don't believe it, but the reason I was in that lounge with Natasha was to try to make her understand it was really over between us. She was texting me so much that I blocked her, and then she started showing up at my work. I was furious and pulled her into that room so my drama wouldn't be a public show. In a last ditch effort, she threw herself at me, and it was that exact moment you walked in. I swear I didn't instigate it or want it. Hell, I didn't even enjoy it. She makes me sick. And now, I hate her because she cost me the best thing that ever happened to me."

His bare chest heaves, and his eyes show his desperation. He seems sincere. I swipe at the tears escaping down my face and bite my trembling lower lip. I want to believe him so badly, but I also remember Josh saying something similar after he got caught. I'm so tired of it, the worry and doubt, always being afraid that I won't be good enough to be loved forever. I just can't do it any longer.

"I can't," I whisper and look at him sadly. "I need time to work on things. I don't want a relationship right now."

He nods dejectedly, looking away for a moment. I turn to go inside my house, but what he says next stops me.

"I'll wait for you."

I look back at him, and he continues with a determined look in his eyes.

"Until I know that there is no chance what-so-ever, I'll wait and hope that you'll come back to me."

With my heart pounding in my chest, I nod and then quietly say,

"Bye Dane."

I close the door and lean against it. My hand covers the sob trying to escape from me. I'm not going to cry I tell myself sternly. I robotically go through the motions of taking care of Mr. Pickles then head to my bedroom. As I'm finishing unpacking my belongings from the duffle bag, the growl of the lawn mower seems to be getting louder and louder. I shift the curtain to the side and see that Dane is now mowing my yard as well. That's sweet, but not enough to make me change my mind. I let the curtain fall back into place, knowing if I stared too long, my resolve would weaken.

*************************

A few days go by with zero contact between us. No calls. No texts. I don't even see him in passing. The roar of his motorcycle coming and going is an ever-present reminder of what I used to have and what now lays just beyond my reach. He said he would wait for me, but words spoken in the heat of the moment lose their intensity after the cooling of time. I can't help but wonder how long it will take. In a way, this is a cruel test for both of us. Did he speak the truth about Natasha? If I stay away long enough, will she make a reappearance? Can I stay away?