Second chances [Complete, 18+]

CHAPTER XXIII

CHAPTER XXIII

He didn't know where they stood. As soon as they had left the poolside, she wouldn't meet his eye. He started to panic that he had rushed her too quickly but he had been soft clay beneath her touch. Her words and actions had seemed to signify some change but when he had rested a hand on her back she had jumped a mile. He hadn't attempted to touch her since and it was startling just how much he missed it. It was almost like reassuring himself that she was real but he couldn't bear to gain the same reaction.

They sat, not touching and pretending to watch the television. It was set on quiet to avoid awakening Dylan who was napping - exhausted from his lesson. Dylan hadn't even made it back to the house before he was slumbering in his child's seat, the gentle motion from the car his lullaby. The metre between them seemed cavernous compared to the jacuzzi where she had pretty much sat in his lap. Thinking back to it, she shifted uncomfortably as she also remembered the glances from the other mothers - they hadn't been as discrete as she had thought.

The silence seemed to stretch between them as soon as Eva returned from putting Dylan to sleep. She'd been working herself up and was worrying the hem of her dress.

"Tell me again?" The words were quiet as if she didn't mind them being not heard but they were golden to his ears. She wanted to know more... surely this was a good sign he thought.

Shifting to be side on, he thought about where best to begin. Shifting was such a normal thing for him and telling a human was always such a taboo. Then there was the massive topic of mates and the fact that even he didn't know all the possibilities of such a pairing. And then there was the high likelihood that Dylan had inherited his talents. Not to mention talking further about the fact they shared a son and she'd had to raise him alone. And perhaps the most precarious of matters of other shifters and having to seek out the aid of the local alpha. Not that she would know what an alpha was until he told her.

She hadn't turned to face him and he hesitated about whether it was best to give her space or cradle her during the process.

"I love you. I will always love you and Dylan. No matter what happens..." words disappearing in a large gulp. "I love you." Shuffling back into the sofa, she hugged a cushion close to her chest and then lay one hand into his as it rested on his thigh. Squeezing the fingers gently, he commenced on trying to lay all the remaining untolds out on the table. The darkness settled until they were only illuminated by the muted television.

Eva was surprisingly patient and he became excited when he eagerly answered any of her questions.

"I can appreciate you wanting to protect us if you think we are in danger... but I...this is just too much." She sobbed but held out her palm to stop him from comforting her. "I need time. Time to think." She nodded as if trying to convince herself that would solve everything.

"Please let me stay. I'll stay outside, you don't even have to talk or see me. I just can't let anything happen to you, both of you...especially because of me."

She stared at him and couldn't find a better option, heck she felt guilty for accepting his suggestion of him staying outside. The fight had been vicious and if they really did intend to come back, she knew that she could do very little against them. His protection was needed if they did return but that wasn't the only reason why she wanted him to stay. She wrapped her arms around herself and after a squeeze decided that refusing him probably wouldn't work anyway.

"Would you leave if I asked you to? Like actually leave, leave." She refused to meet his eyes but heard the rapid intake of breath. She wasn't asking him to leave - that was something she knew she didn't want, right now at least. Dylan was her world and she'd never really thought that her life could be better but the thought of him leaving for good made her realise just how much she would miss him.

"Is...is that what you want?" His heart had stopped at her words and the last three years seemed to lengthen in his mind for the rest of his long life. Her head was turned away and it was killing him as it made her more likely to reject him. "It would be difficult... I mean I love you and Dylan... is that what you want?" He stuttered over his words as the panic set in. He didn't know if he could force himself away a second time. Would he really go against her wishes though? He hoped he never had to find out. "Eva, please I can change-"

"Shush. That's not what I want. You make me... I don't want you to leave for good. I...you," She flushed and couldn't continue. "Dylan will be awake soon and I think it would be best if you could give me some time. If you think you need to stay, then I would appreciate it...but..."

"Outside?" He asked when she didn't finish. She nodded her head as she stared resolutely at the carpet, worried she would change her mind if she spoke to him directly. "Okay Eva. Take your time. Tell Dylan that I'll - um can I see him tomorrow or the next day?"

She bit her lip at the tentativeness with which he spoke. She braved looking at him and had to stop herself from launching herself at him. "How about after daycare on Monday?" That would give her two days, she meant to give a longer gap but couldn't end up doing it. Wobbling to her feet and re-wrapped her arms around herself. "We'll stay inside if you need to head off somewhere. I'm going um upstairs." Before he could respond, she rushed out of the room and hurried up the stairs, heart racing within her chest. She listened keenly and didn't expect the leaden feeling when the television was silenced and the back door opened and closed signalling his exit.

Patrolling proved to be uneventful with no sign of them yet again. It was unlikely that they would attack with him present and alert to the danger. The rain seemed to mimic his mood and he was quickly soaked yet again.

The back door opened around three AM as best he could tell. He headed towards it with trepidation and then with sorrow as he caught the red rings around his mates eyes. She held out a towel and gestured for him to come inside. They stood staring at the hastily spread sheet that covered the sofa and he went to speak when Eva silenced him.

"Please... just don't say anything. Sleep and... we'll see you in the morning."

He went to open his mouth again when she shook her head urgently and seeing her eyes glistening, obeyed. He couldn't help but whisper a thank you and sweet dreams to her retreating back which stiffened in response. He glanced at the doorway long after she had left, wishing more than anything she would come back through. He didn't deserve it though and she did not. He had hurt her. She was hurting and it was his fault. She was hurting and he couldn't comfort her. Lying supine on the sofa, he imagined he was one floor up and could hold his mate as she cried big racking sobs that tore at his heart.