Second chances [Complete, 18+]

CHAPTER VII

CHAPTER VII

He couldn't remember how far or how long he had been running: the repetitive feeling of the earth beneath his paws was the only thing that was soothing his tattered heart. Lapping up the water, he noted with a grimace at the faint trace of pollutants whilst his huge, lithe body heaved from exhaustion. As the water finally settled, he gazed at his mangled appearance and allowed himself to fall forwards into the slow flowing area of the river. Surging to the surface, he pawed at his head removing any excess dirt. He didn't waste much time though before he searched the bank for the heavily protected, solar powered satellite phone. It was the only thing he had stopped long enough to pick up along the way. It's presence was painful and it felt heavy beyond its weight resting on a cord around his neck but he couldn't help but hope that it would ring. He'd said he would answer whenever she called, and he wouldn't break that promise. Looping the strap with his paw, he manoeuvred the phone once again over his head being careful not to damage it at all. Thirst sated, his muscles protested as he strolled away from the river.

Rolling his shoulders as he strode past the treeline, he collapsed near the edge overlooking the great expanse. No man-made structure was in sight so instead he assessed the mountainous area to try and pinpoint exactly where he was. Stunned that he didn't even recognise where he was for he never stayed in one place for long, he turned his gaze upwards and instead used the stars to identify that he was far further north than he realised.

He'd been running non-stop for days and his muscles were protesting now that he had stopped. Stretching gently towards his rear, he extended and retracted his claws into the ground beneath his paws and resigned himself to sleep as even if he had wanted to get any further from his problems his body wouldn't let him. Settling back down, his tail tucked around his frame as he heard gentle clicks from his jaw stretching into a yawn.

He knew he shouldn't, that it would only hurt, but as his eyes closed he pictured his soulmate splayed out under him writhing in pleasure. He groaned in frustration and shifted in position but the image rapidly changed to the last time he saw her. Tears had glistened in her eyes and it had made him want to wrap her up tightly in his arms even as her piercing words echoed within his head. 'I never want to see you ever again!'

The words were the worst thing he could ever imagine. He hoped that she would give him a chance to explain and maybe then she could accept who he was but alas he'd heard nothing from her. Maybe he had pushed her too quickly, if only he had managed to control himself when her need had emboldened his instinct. He was overjoyed and appalled at the same that at the manner in which he took her first time. Pride filled him that he was the only one that she had trusted enough but as he recalled her shock, believing that he was a figment of her imagination, he berated himself for not making it special like she deserved. Body physically exhausted his mind re-ran through every second assessing what he could have done better. Appalled at how he had handled what should have been the start of his forever, his worried thoughts followed into his dreams.

He was running as fast as he could, panting at the exertion, only to skin to a halt as her terrified face turned into one of disgust as he shifted to comfort his soulmate. She backed away from him and yelled at him to leave. Her kind eyes had turned her almost unrecognisable as hatred and disgust filled her face. He tried to plead with her but it did no good, she only shoed him away. "Get away from me, how could I ever love you? You disgust me!"

Growling awake, he snarled, eyes springing open but as the words spun around again and again his snarls turned to whimpers. Whipping his head around, his vision blurred, he made sure that there was no danger in the surrounding area before he let his defences crumble. His shoulders heaved as he began to mewl, tears creating tracks through his fur. His soulmate, the one person made for him, didn't want him.

Feeling the strap around his neck, he noted the painful knot that lying on the phone had created. Rolling the screen over with his nose, he registered that yet again no message graced the screen. He hadn't expected anything different as the loudest volume would have woken him even if he'd been half a mile away. Rolling it carefully back over so that the solar panel was exposed he rested his heavy head onto his paws as he sang out his loss to the deserted land.

He would stay away like she wanted. It would nearly kill him, but he would do it for her. He would do anything to make her happy, he just hated that it was leaving her alone that made her so.

The days grew monotonous as his future alone stood bleakly before him. It had never concerned him before, his species often roamed alone and he'd enjoyed the solitude and freedom that it allowed. No longer. No matter what he was doing, even the thrill of the hunt, part of him was always wondering what she was doing. How she was feeling and if she even thought of him at all? The idea was painful to say the least but he wouldn't stop thinking of her. The idea of forgetting what she smelt, looked and felt like was by far the worse.

The seasons gradually changed, the winter made him especially thankful of his heavy coat of fur. The area around him descended into almost silence, the odd sound of nature emphasising the cocoon of misery that he had created for himself. Spring came and went, the sight of blossoming flowers making him yearn to know what flowers she preferred. Scents swirled around him and he had to focus hard to remember the only one that mattered.

All too frequent rain matched his mood and after being drenched thoroughly it wasn't long before he found an old tree that was suitable. It had a large branch, protected from the swirling mud and the rain from above. It had taken several attempts the first time, but eventually he'd managed to find a way up without having to shift. He felt more connected to her this way and so he had remained on four legs. Laid out on the branch, he could just see out beyond the thick canopy to the world beyond when his head rested upon the branch. It was a bleak sight, the sky varying shades of grey and little animals remaining. He'd have to move on soon as he'd foolishly hadn't expanded his hunting grounds. Glancing down at the branch beneath him, he huffed at the claw drawn hearts containing their initials. Pathetic, he thought to himself but nonetheless he trailed around the one nearest. She'd had his heart in a second and he could only hope that in time she would give him another chance. He would wait. He had waited, not that he knew what he was waiting for at the time. He would wait until she could give him even the smallest part of her heart and time.