never fall for brown eyes // Pedri

chapter 73

When Mason is finally convinced that I'm okay and I'm sure he has calmed down, he leaves me alone in my room. Evelynn is still nowhere to be seen, but I got a feeling that I know where she is. I bet that she went to see Spain's match and is now with a certain brunette with a number nine on his jersey.

I wash my face, change into my pyjamas and climb into bed. My eyes are sore, my head aches and everything just hurts. What I need is a good nap to forget about today and to calm down.

I close my eyes and try to fall asleep but the only thing in my mind is Pedri's sad brown eyes and his hurtful words. After all that we went through with Pedri I still meant nothing to him. I feel so stupid. I should've known guys like him want nothing more than temporary fun. But like a fool I am, I let him close to me and let myself care about him.

I think I knew I was falling for him long before I had to face it. Every time he gave me a smile or referred to me as 'his girl' or with the stupid nickname he came up with the first night we met, I fell harder and harder. But that's the thing with falling in love. You are falling. And there are no guarantees that the other person will catch you when you finally hit the ground. That's exactly what happened to me and the worst part is that this wasn't the first time. And to be completely honest, I don't think it'll be the last time either.

I knew I should've realised sooner how badly I was falling for him, and I think in the back of my mind I knew it. Knew that this was going to happen, and that's why I didn't want to face these feelings. But now as I'm staring at the ceiling of my hotel room with tears streaming down my cheeks, I wish I had.

I mean he didn't lie to me or to anyone else, but I let myself believe I could change him. That I could make him want to choose me, to decide that loving me wasn't that bad. And if I couldn't, I'd take what he had to offer me. I should have chosen myself and put myself first, but once again I didn't.

–

Sleep must have taken over me at some point because when I open my eyes again the room is bathed in a golden glow. I slept through the whole night and Evelynn is still nowhere to be seen. I decide to trust my gut which is telling me that she is fine and I'll wait until after breakfast before I start to hunt her down. I take a long bath and try to cover my face with make up, but it's still evident that I'm either extremely hungover or have cried my eyes out. The latter one being the more probable answer.

I have to pull myself together, because A) I need to get out of my room to avoid driving myself crazy with my own thoughts and B) I am starving and don't want to order room service. Not because I don't think it's good, just because I'm pretty much broke and have no intention of wasting my money when there's free food downstairs.

My stomach seems to agree that it is time to eat something and get my day started. I put on an oversized hoodie and jeans and head downstairs, where I can hopefully eat my breakfast in peace.

But it seems that that's too much to ask from the universe...