It's been a week since that day and I've tried not to bring it up, especially when court is next week which I'm glad for because it's the week before Christmas and I'd rather it be over before then.
Leah had been respectful of my boundaries, we haven't been intimate again yet and I know it doesn't bother Leah but I feel guilty. I know she hasn't been coping great with this but she hasn't voiced it because she doesn't think she can have feelings about it which is so far from the truth.
"Don't touch her", I heard a mumble from behind me waking me up.
"Leah", I spoke out as I turned around and noticed she was still asleep.
"Get away from her", she mumbled again as her face was scrunched up and she looked restless.
"Leah wake up", I said sitting up as I cradled her face in my hands. She woke up with a start and looked around the room until her eyes settled on mine.
"Are you okay?", I asked softly as she just nodded.
"Yea sorry, lets go back to sleep", she mumbled as she laid back down.
"What was your nightmare about?", I asked her softly, pretty certain I already knew the answer but this affects her too and I don't want her to hide how she feels.
"Please Y/N/N, I don't want to talk about this, at least not now", she said quietly as she rolled over.
"Come on", I said pulling the duvet off of her and she rolled back over.
"It's 4am", Leah groaned as I grabbed her hands and pulled her out of bed.
"We're going downstairs, we have to talk about this, we both do, and you should know what happened", I said avoiding her gaze. She used her hands to pull my face to look at her as she looked at me with soft eyes.
"Okay", she whispered as she followed me out of the room. We walked into the living room and got comfortable on the sofa, sitting facing each other as we both took in a breath.
"The nightmare was about you", Leah said taking a breath as I nodded in understanding.
"It was just a loop of me seeing him on you and it kept replaying and I couldn't do anything to help", she whispered as a stray tear fell from her eye. I grabbed her hands and kissed the back of them.
"You blame yourself, don't you?", I asked softly as she just looked away from me.
"I feel like I should have done more, I'm your fiancé, I should have protected you", she said as her bottom lip quivered.
"This isn't your fault, it isn't anybody's fault so stop. Please stop blaming yourself", I said stroking the back of her hands as she offered me a soft smile.
"Guess it's my turn", I said sighing as I took in another breath.
"Once I got to the house which had the noise complaint, I had a feeling something was wrong. I walked into the house and it was just so quiet. I checked the house and made my way back to the door when I seen him standing there. I asked him to move but he wouldn't. He started to walk towards me and naturally I started to walk back and I reached for my gun. He was too quick and managed to grab it and then he wrapped her hand around my throat and pinned me to the wall", I stopped to take a breath as Leah changed our positions so I was sat on her lap straddling her.
"Take your time", she whispered as she placed her hands on my hips just underneath my shirt and rubbed her thumbs up and down on my skin. The action made me feel safe, her being caring and attentive with me makes me fall in love with her more if it's even possible.
"He told me to sit down because he wanted to talk. He told me he was seeing Alessia and it made me so mad, I told him to stay away from her and he said she wasn't the one he wanted. I decided I couldn't back down, I couldn't let him scare me, so I baited him. It triggered him and he pounced on me, he told me I was his and always will be. He took off his shirt and held my hands above my head with one of his hands. He was so strong and I tried to get him off me Leah I tried. He started to kiss my neck and he put his hand under my shirt and painfully gripped onto my hip. I managed to get him off me and I tried to get the gun but he managed to grab me again, and soon after you and Alessia got there. I'm sorry", I finished after letting a few tears fall.
Leah moved her hands to wipe my tears as she pulled me into her and I rested my head on her chest.
"Don't ever apologise to me Y/N/N, like you told me, this isn't your fault. I love you so much", she said placing soft kisses to my head.
"I love you, so much", I breathed out as I pulled back and placed a soft kiss on her lips. She placed her hands back on my hips as the kiss turned more heated though I could tell she was holding back. I know I'm ready. Knowing it's with Leah makes me feel secure and I know she would stop immediately if I wanted her to.
I started to grind my hips back and forth to find some friction as I ran my tongue across Leah's bottom lip. She pulled back and tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear.
"I'm ready", I whispered as I smiled softly.
"Are you sure? If you want me to stop at anytime just say the word", she said caressing my cheek as I nodded. I captured her lips with mine again as she immediately pushed her tongue into my mouth. I didn't even try to fight for dominance, I knew she would win.
I moved one of my hands to grip her hair which made her let out a moan as I smirked against her lips. I used my other hand to grab hers and guide them to the waistband of my shorts. I guided her hand to trace just above the waistband as I let out a sigh.
"Y/N/N-"
"No, it's okay, I promise. I just needed the reminder of this feeling to be you", I said smiling at her as she pecked my lips.
"Now please fuck me", I let out a whine as she groaned and slowly put her hand into my shorts and underwear.
She softly ran her fingers through my folds as I whimpered into her mouth and started to move my hips.
She quickly pushed 2 fingers inside me as she brushed her thumb along my clit making me throw my head back and let out a moan as my grip tightened in her hair.
"Fuck you feel so good", I moaned as she brought her head forward and started to kiss and suck at my neck. I started to move my hips faster until my movements became sloppy and she quickly increased the pace of her fingers.
"I'm gonna cum", I moaned into her ear as she groaned and continued her assault on my neck.
"Let go for me", she said lowly into my ear as I realised all over her fingers with a scream which she was quick to silence with her free hand. She removed her other hand from my pants as I leaned into her chest.
"Let's hope we didn't wake Lia and Em", Leah said as we both laughed. I leaned back and gazed at her lovingly.
"Thank you", I whispered.
"You don't ever have to thank me for that", she said softly as she lifted me up and carried me to bed.
She got in behind me and wrapped her arm around my waist as we fell asleep.
