It's been a 5 days since Leah's accident and she is yet to wake up. I haven't left the hospital, I know I should, especially because I'm in the same clothes, have barely slept and am in need of a shower. I'm so emotionally and mentally drained. Not knowing if Leah is going to remember me, waiting for her to wake up, it's torture.
Leah's family have been coming everyday, especially Amanda, she's here from the start of visiting hours to the end. The girls have also stopped by in their free time when they can, before or after training.
To be honest, after the first couple days I haven't been paying much attention to who's been visiting. I know her cousins have and I know Alex has come by a few times.
Em and Lia have tried to get me out of the room and home to change and shower but I've dismissed them everytime. They aren't the only ones either, Beth and Katie have tried but I've ignored their pleas.
I was currently sitting by Leah's bed, holding her hand in mine as Amanda came in the room. She sat on the other side of Leah's bed and gave me a sad look.
"You need to go home Y/N/N", she said softly as I shook my head.
"No", I replied bluntly as she sighed.
"She would hate to see you like this, if you won't do it for yourself at least do it for her, please". Damn it.
"Fine, but I'm coming straight back", I mumbled as she nodded. David and Jacob came in the room as Amanda guided me out, my legs kind of felt numb from being sat down for majority of the last 5 days. Once we walked out I seen Em, Lia, Beth, Katie and Alessia.
They all looked surprised and shocked to see me out of the room.
"I'm going to take her home, let her change and shower, then we'll be back", Amanda said.
"Can you stay here with her?", I mumbled, wanting Leah to have her mum with her.
"Are you sure sweetheart?", she questioned as I nodded. "Call me if something changes", I mumbled as she kissed my forehead.
"We'll take her", Em said as her and Lia took me out to the car. I got in the back seat and leaned my head against the window as Em drove me home.
The drive home felt like hours as my thoughts were consumed with Leah. I don't like being away from her when she's lying in a hospital bed. So as soon as we pulled up to the house I was straight in the shower and out within 15 minutes. I threw on a pair of grey joggers and one of Leah's hoodies that still smelled like her, it was comforting.
I quickly raced down the stairs again and was greeted by Em and Lia.
"Want something to eat?", Em asked me.
"No, I want to go back to the hospital", I said irritated.
"Please Y/N/N, you haven't eaten in days", Em said softly as I sighed and gave in. She made me a ham sandwich and after eating half of it I started to breakdown. Seriously, a sandwich is what makes me crumble. Damn her and her ham sandwiches.
Em was quick to pull me into her as she let me sob into her chest.
"Please can we go back to the hospital", I sobbed as she nodded and we went back to the car. She helped me into the backseat and climbed in the front as Lia was in the passenger seat.
As we were driving, Lias phone started to ring as she picked up.
"Hello", she said as I could hear a voice on the other end.
"You're on speaker Amanda", Lia said putting her on speaker.
"Leah's starting to come round, she should be awake soon", Amanda said as I sighed in relief but also dread of the unknown.
"We'll be there in 5", Lia said as she hung up. I anxiously started to tap my fingers against my leg as we pulled up to the hospital.
I left the car without another word and walked inside with Em and Lia following close behind me.
Em came up beside me as she gripped into my hand and I offered her a small smile. We made our way into Leah's room and seen Amanda, Beth, and Katie. They informed us that Alessia has to go but she would be back later.
I placed myself back in the seat I've been glued to for the past 5 days and took Leah's hand in mine. I placed a few light kisses on the back of her hand as I studied her face.
After about 10 minutes of general chat, I heard groans coming from the bed and whipped my head around.
"Le? Baby can you hear me?", I questioned softly as I asked someone to go and get Meredith. David came back with Meredith as she approached Leah's bedside.
"Leah is Meredith, can you hear me?", she asked as Leah started to open her eyes and I hadn't realised the tears that were streaming down my face. She's okay. She's okay.
Leah took in her surroundings before finally making eye contact with me. She looked at me confused. Something is different. She looked down at our interlocked hands and her eyebrows furrowed. This isn't happening. This cannot be fucking happening.
She released her hand from my grip and looked over to Katie and Beth. Well that hurt, I can't help this gnawing feeling that is telling me this isn't good.
"What happened?", she asked looking around the room but avoiding me.
"You had an accident sweetheart", I drown out the rest of Amanda's words as she explains to Leah what happened. She takes in Amanda's words as she sighs. She starts to scan the room, as if looking for someone, she then turns to Katie and Beth again and her next words quite literally make my heart break into a million tiny pieces.
"Where's Jordan?"
