My First Love [Spencer Reid Fanfic - 1]

Chapter 38 - Fear and Loathing

"From the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate." - Socrates

I entered Spencer's apartment with a brown bag full of goodies. After his traumatic experience, he gave me a key since he didn't want to be alone. I've been spending the last few weeks sleeping in his couch, which was uncomfortable, but I would do anything to make him feel better after everything he went through.

"Hi, Spence." I said while putting the bag on the counter.

He was sitting on the couch. His eyes had dark circles and he seemed agitated. He wasn't sleeping that well and kept having nightmares. "Hey, Cass." He gave me a weak smile.

"I brought eggs, almond milk, blueberries and coffee filters cause you ran out." I informed him. "I'm making pancakes to celebrate your return to work. Are you excited?"

"I'm anxious but ready to return." He simply replied.

I stood in front of him and grinned widely. "Great! I'm gonna wash my hands."

"Okay." He didn't move.

I made my way to the bathroom and turned the faucet on and washed my hands. His cabinet file opened and nearly hit my forehead, which was still sore. I looked up and noticed three small bottles of medicine. I grabbed one of the bottles and read the label. "Dilaudid..." I whispered.

I returned to the living room, where Spencer was still on. "Hey, Spence..." I called him.

"Yeah." He said while picking his nails and tapping his foot on the floor.

"Did the doctor prescribe you Dilaudid?" I asked, scared to hear his answer.

Spencer widened his eyes and didn't speak for a moment. "He did for the pain."

I eyed him suspiciously. "You know, my dad broke his leg a few years ago after a horseback riding accident and the doctor prescribed him Dilaudid in case he was in excruciating pain. It is highly addictive and after a week, the doctor told him to go cold turkey."

"I know but I stopped taking it a week ago." Spencer stood up and came closer to me, kissing my forehead. "Let's eat." He smiled. Spencer never lied to me. This was the first time. I'm worried about him.

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After breakfast, Spencer and I went straight to the BAU. His first day back and we already had a case. "Ken Newcombe and Sandra Davis were killed in Mount Vernon, New York." JJ presented. "He was shot inside his car and she was strangled and beaten to death. A swastika was found painted on the side of the car."

"Could this be a hate crime?" Emily asked.

"What clued you in?" Spencer asked her aggressively. "Was it the swastika or the ethnicity of the victim?"

Emily was too stunned to speak. "Spencer!" I scolded him and he rolled his eyes.

"If this is a hate crime, why kill Ken?" Morgan asked. "He's white."

"Mount Vernon is a predominantly white neighborhood, just like New Haven." I explained. "Most kids at my school were Caucasian and came from wealthy families like Ken Newcombe."

"We'll be leaving in 30 minuted." Hotch stated. "I would like to speak to you, Reid." I glanced at Spencer before leaving the room.

I followed Emily to the bullpen. "Em, wait!" I called her.

She grabbed her bag and looked at me. "Yeah."

"I'm sorry about Spencer." I apologized. "He's still reeling from his traumatic experience and this is his first day back."